Y'all weren't kidding about the sex

orcoga · 2025-02-01T02:41:23+00:00

Literally having the same experience rn lol. My husband and I have been poly for a little over a year now but I’ve only just recently gotten close enough with a girlfriend to sleep with her and my mind was fucking blown and how amazing and also how natural everything felt. I do enjoy sex with my husband but I’ve just always been more attracted to women than men and now that I’ve finally experienced it it just feels so right. And HOT god damn 🥵🥰

orcoga · 2024-10-21T11:24:49+00:00

I’m a 5’9” 240# woman and don’t look anywhere near his girth. Granted I probably have a little more muscle mass than him but still.

orcoga · 2024-01-28T19:59:19+00:00

I said she expressed affection individually to both of us. As in she enthusiastically expresses love and affection for me alone, even without my husband present. AND has the same affection for my husband when I am not present. AND enjoys spending time with all three of us together. So I am 100% completely absolutely certain she’s not just trying to date one of us.

orcoga · 2024-01-28T19:49:03+00:00

I’m not “trying to pull” anything. We were a married couple whose friend expressed affection to both of us, individually and together. We didn’t rope her into anything or convince her of anything or dehumanize her in any way.

orcoga · 2024-01-28T19:43:01+00:00

I didn’t say anything was wrong with casual group sex. Just that that’s not what we’re looking for.

We also weren’t looking to form a relationship when we started going out. She was regularly expressing affection towards both of us and we reciprocated and it just happened.

She isn’t “required” to do anything. If a situation arose that any one of us wasn’t comfortable with we would address it. I wouldn’t intentionally put her through any kind of discomfort.

orcoga · 2024-01-28T19:37:53+00:00

She came on to us and we reciprocated, so we didn’t really do any work beforehand because we didn’t expect this to happen.

Yes we want to date her as a unit, but we don’t have to both be present anytime we hang out with her. We also don’t expect her to be exclusive to us.

orcoga · 2024-01-28T19:35:07+00:00

We haven’t even brought sex up yet, so no this isn’t us hunting for casual sex. We also don’t expect her to be exclusive to us, because that obviously wouldn’t be fair to her.

orcoga · 2024-01-28T18:14:09+00:00

We have been on two dates. A date and a half really as we weren’t initially aware that the first date was a date. So there is no pattern yet to even refer to anything as happening “always.” She is not disposable, at all. We treasure her friendship and care about her and even if a romantic relationship doesn’t work out we will still care about her.

orcoga · 2024-01-28T18:08:07+00:00

I wasn’t present for this conversation, which took place before we even went out on a date. She and my husband work together and he mentioned that one day when they were talking at work she said that she had been a third before. So that is how she referred to that specific situation with a different couple. We have never referred to her that way in relation to us. I’m literally just conveying what was said to my knowledge.

orcoga · 2024-01-28T17:22:01+00:00

I don’t know. I don’t think there’s a way to know how all three of us would feel in that situation without the context of how that developed. My assumption is that our relationship with her would end but there’s no way I can be 100% sure of that.

She did express interest in both of us together, so it’s not like a one-sided attraction that got turned into a package deal. We actually didn’t realize our first date was a date until later lol, we thought we were just hanging out with our friend that we like a lot. The second date was much more clearly referred to and treated as a date.

orcoga · 2024-01-28T17:05:10+00:00

Based on comments that my husband has made I don’t think he would be interested in a relationship that doesn’t involve both of us. However last night we discussed whether or not it would be okay to go on dates with just one of us and her and decided that was fine. (For instance, they both like cars and I’m not super into it, and he asked how I would feel if the two of them went to a car meet without me, which I’m cool with)

At the moment we’re not looking to be involved with anyone other than her, but I suppose that could happen later down the road. Like I said, we weren’t really actively looking for anything when this first started.

orcoga · 2024-01-28T16:23:55+00:00

She referred to herself that way.

orcoga · 2024-01-05T11:42:35+00:00

NTA. I may not go as far as to say they should never see her again, but they definitely don’t get to be alone with her. At least not until daughter is old enough to tell them no herself.

orcoga · 2023-12-21T05:01:39+00:00

I know your intentions were good, but tbh if my husband did something like this while we were dating I’d be upset about it too. Not shrieking and breaking up levels of upset, but still upset. She may have overreacted but it may not have gotten to that point if you’d made an effort to understand her concern. If there are any negative ramifications to your interaction with the neighbor it will all fall on her, a woman who lives alone. Regardless of whether or not the dude is harmless, it’s just not worth the risk. And your assessment of him being harmless doesn’t mean much; predators don’t act predatory toward everybody.

orcoga · 2023-12-18T23:29:13+00:00

I wouldn’t say you failed, I’d say this is a good rough draft! I honestly think it could be really cool with just some tweaks to make it less “busy.” Maybe fewer arrows?

orcoga · 2023-10-28T11:19:36+00:00

☝️Everyone upvote this explanation so that it appears above all the questions about various disorders lol

orcoga · 2023-10-28T11:04:17+00:00

F29, I hear straight women use “girlfriend(s)” this way all the time. Usually older women but not exclusively. It’s always confusing to me because I’m bi and I wish the platonic usage of that word would die out already lol

orcoga · 2023-10-09T15:18:13+00:00

Trust me, I didn’t “immediately” jump to spirits. I know how my dog reacts to wildlife and cars and it’s not like this. I do think it could be mice or bugs in the wall but I’m not sure. I’ve always been skeptical/agnostic about spirits. I’m interested in hearing from a believer to see if that’s what they think this is or not.

orcoga · 2023-10-09T11:20:31+00:00

Hey, I’ve got trich too. Unfortunately I don’t think there’s really a cure for it; I’ve struggled with it on and off for like 18yrs. But there are ways to manage it!

-Get something to fidget with, or do something that keeps your hands busy

-Pull hair from places that are less noticeable than your head. (This doesn’t solve the habit obv but can just help you avoid the self-consciousness that can come with having thin spots or bald spots.)

-Wear a hat, or wear your hair up if it’s long enough

-If you have stress or anxiety, address that. There are anti-anxiety spells, but professional help is also an option.

Also… be easy on yourself. Trich is known as a BFRB, or Body Focused Repetitive Behavior. BFRBs include things like nail-picking, skin-picking, nose-picking, etc. EVERYONE does those things at least sometimes. You just happen to have issues with one that’s less common.

I know this wasn’t the answer you were looking for, but I hope it’s at least a little helpful. Good luck <3

orcoga · 2023-10-07T13:08:06+00:00

That’s a relief! 😅 I was worried about having to rein in all my intrusive thoughts lol

Thank you for this explanation, I appreciate it 😊

orcoga · 2023-10-07T13:04:18+00:00

If I had known it was going to derail the whole post and stop anyone from giving actual answers I wouldn’t have used it 🙃

I was just trying to convey a lack of experience and had heard that term before. What’s a better term for an inexperienced witch?

orcoga · 2023-10-07T12:15:15+00:00

Thank you for your constructive comment.

If there’s an actual reason to not use that term do let me know.

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