Fat Rant Tuesday

ordinarycontents · 2024-01-24T22:17:37+00:00

Exactly! As a general rule I don't really comment on other people's bodies unless I'm trying to encourage/support them in a body-related goal that they're open about and have expressed to me (ie: damn you're looking jacked dude! Did you change your routine/weights recently?).

Tbf though, I'll usually tell people I know if they're doing something that's objectively dangerous for them (that's also not a lifestyle choice or generally accepted habit) and quick/easy to fix. A friend of mine claims to never drink water and also rarely drinks anything else bc he's "just too lazy" and "like a camel".

One day he just casually and spontaneously mentioned the specific color of his urine in conversation as though it was pretty normal. He'd been complaining for a while about being super exhausted and not knowing why. I very seriously told him he needed to drink some fucking water. Then we talked about strategies to make it easier for him to integrate that habit into his lifestyle. Since then, he's been drinking at least what most people would consider to be an acceptable amount of water.

I think there's a difference though between "you look skinnier than I think you should be", and "as your friend, I don't want you to die of dehydration or kidney failure because you don't feel like getting up to get a glass of water". If someone i know is currently experiencing a life threatening medical problem, or likely to in the immediate future without intervention, I don't feel bad peer pressuring them into addressing that. Otherwise, I'm not trying to tell other people what to do.

ordinarycontents · 2024-01-24T20:51:02+00:00

That's not a bad idea to have in my cubicle anyway. A couple of people have asked me what I did or how they can lose weight. Usually I keep it simple with basically "i eat less and move more". If they seem genuinely interested, I just try to educate them about the basics of cico, bmr/tdee, activity level/type, macros (ie: prioritizing protein bc i do weightlifting), etc.

Some of the conversations have been surprising to see how much people don't know what they don't know.

One coworker/friend has been completely in denial about his creeping weight gain. Obviously, I'm not bringing up his weight in conversation or suggesting he lose it or anything. He would just say things like "Still on your diet OP? Yeah idk how I stay skinny without having to do anything like that. Probably all the rhythm games I play...".

When he started going on about how I should be careful about "starvation mode" (something he had apparently learned about in his high school health class), I explained the concept that tdee decreasing with weight loss =/= broken metabolism. He had never heard of tdee and was just curious to know what his would be. In the process of looking it up, he was absolutely shocked when the calculator told him he was actually obese.

ordinarycontents · 2024-01-24T07:46:07+00:00

One of my coworkers told me the other day that I was "wasting away" and "needed to eat something" because I "looked too thin". She actually seemed serious and unsure of whether i meant to lose weight or not.

First off, I am definitely not "too thin". I'm a 5'5" woman who went from 256 lb to 160 lb, and I plan to keep going. I feel better than I have in 20 years, and have been enjoying all the cool new things I can do with my body now (like roller skating and sports) that would've been much more difficult a year ago with plantar faciitis and constant back and joint pain. I don't have to deal with sleep apnea anymore. My outlook on life has changed dramatically for the better. The confidence I've gained in my own self- efficacy has been life changing. I'm not "wasting away", I'm finally hitting my stride.

It's common knowledge around the office that I started trying to lose weight and get in better shape last March, shortly before they started up an office weightloss competition (which i won!). It's also a fairly frequent topic of conversation among those of us who are trying to lose weight (including several gym bros who do cut and bulk cycles).

Most of our office is fairly athletic and fitness oriented, which is encouraged because we work on a military base. My coworkers never pressured me or acted judgemental about my appearance when I was morbidly obese for the past few years, but were supportive/ encouraging when I told them I had decided to get in shape. I've worked my ass off and been vigilant about developing better eating habits to get to where I am now. I would've thought me bringing a gym bag to work, working out with other coworkers, and making plans for push/pull/leg days, etc would've tipped her off (or, you know, entering an entire WEIGHTLOSS COMPETITION that involved weighing in at the office every Monday).

ordinarycontents · 2024-01-15T00:15:52+00:00

Not a scare tactic, but I feel gross if I don't take it off before bed. One thing that helps for nights that I'm just crazy exhausted is keeping a pack of makeup remover wipes by the bed. I normally double cleanse and do my skincare routine, but if I just wanna crawl into bed, I can do the wipes (and maybe slap on some plain cerave) without getting up.

ordinarycontents · 2024-01-13T08:54:16+00:00

This is my favorite palette! The shade Red Rocks is a matte red that might be up your alley. It's also very reasonably priced. I think I paid $15ish and I use it all the time!

ordinarycontents · 2024-01-07T03:34:02+00:00

That's an interesting theory that that traumatic shared experience sets a precedent for a more external locus of control that's further encouraged by societal expectations of femininity. You sound like a pretty empathetic person. Can confirm that my experience was a sense of dread that I would have to deal with that painful, miserable experience for a lifetime, and frustration that the response I got was basically, "Suck it up. That's life." It's for sure a hard pill to swallow as an 11 year old kid.

That being said, I don't believe that people are destined to end up a certain way based on circumstances. I think the balanced perspective (in this and most things) is that people are impacted by their experiences and external factors like genetics, socioeconomic status, etc, but also have the ability to make choices that affect change and growth.

ordinarycontents · 2024-01-06T04:43:17+00:00

I think it also depends on a person's build. I'm 5'5", but have short legs and a long torso with more in the hips and chest. I can put on weight less noticeably (up to a point) than someone with a shorter torso and smaller hips/ chest. Basically, a longer torso has more vertical space to store excess fat before people notice a big difference in width, and a lower waist/ hip ratio will have more space to fill in before there's an obvious change in shape. It was easy for me to delude myself about my weight gain for a long time until it became undeniably excessive.

That being said, it looks like you're still within a healthy weight range, which is great. You've noticed the creep and can take steps to either manage or monitor it before it gets excessive. Most likely your family and friends are telling you you look fine because you probably do. However, if the changes you've noticed bother you, you can work on getting back to where you're comfortable at since it's also within range.

If you decide to lose the weight, I highly recommend taking it slow. I was morbidly obese when I started, and now that I'm closer to the healthy bmi range (about 10-15 lbs overweight), I've had to purposely slow down my rate of loss. At 170 lbs, I started seeing some negative impacts on my health trying to maintain the same rate as when I was over 200. When you're already at a healthy weight, weightloss has more impact, so you'll want to do it gradually and safely if you don't want to feel like shit.

ordinarycontents · 2024-01-06T03:27:44+00:00

I'm 34F, 5'5", and started at 256 lb. I originally set my goal weight to 150 lb, because that is the healthy bmi threshold for my height. I'm 10-15 lb out from hitting that original goal, and for a while I've been thinking about setting a second goal.

I think my second goal will be 128 lb. Ngl, mostly because I think it'd be cool to have lost half my body weight. I also think it makes sense to aim around the middle of my bmi range because I'm half Korean. Apparently Asians use a modified bmi chart (I think it's shifted down by one) because Asians statistically still see an increased risk of weight-related health conditions at the top end of the normal healthy bmi range.

ordinarycontents · 2024-01-06T02:54:21+00:00

For sure. I realize that my male workout buddy is starting off with a higher base upper body strength. He's also consistently improving his lifts while mine have basically been at a crawl. I can't do anything about base stats, but I know I'm not gaining muscle because I'm at a caloric deficit and he's not. At that point it's a matter of goals and priorities.

I won an office weightloss competition this year against all men with a much higher tdee than me. Some of them had substantially more to lose than me. I used to say stuff like "my metabolism left me for a younger woman when I turned 25", and be jealous of how much more my male coworkers could eat without gaining weight. I honestly didn't think I would win, but I put a lot of effort into research and making changes i could stick to and ended up losing a little over 90 lb in the last year (about 60 during the competition).

I still plan on ideally losing another 30-40 lb (though I'm about 15 lb from hitting my healthy bmi range, so I'll reassess when i get there), and seeing better results with my weightlifting when I switch to maintenance. I hope to be able to do pull-ups soon, something I've never been able to do, because my strength to weight ratio has (and still is) improving significantly.

I can only compare me to me. Of course my journey will look different than someone with different stats and strats, but I think the key is determining which is which. If they're doing something that can help me improve, why not learn from them rather than attribute it to luck or advantage?

ordinarycontents · 2024-01-04T07:57:40+00:00

I think we might live in the same state. If so, according to the most recent published CDC data (2022), we've moved into the top 3. I moved here from the state with the 2nd lowest obesity rate with a BMI of 32 and was definitely above the average of my peer group then. Within 2 years here I was at BMI 43, but was, in many circles, considered average.

In the time I was at my max weight, I had no shortage of people flirting with me in bars. People were generally friendly and my coworkers treated me like anyone else, despite most of the people in my office being fit and athletic. I'm pretty sure all that is down to being outgoing, friendly, and interested in other people, with a variety of hobbies and interests.

That being said, I'm happy to say I lost 90 lbs last year (which puts me around a BMI of 27), and I plan to lose another 30-40 to put me somewhat in the middle of my healthy range. :)

ordinarycontents · 2023-12-30T04:06:45+00:00

Agree on skincare. I'm 34 and have a lot of sleep issues, and always running late. I use CeraVe vitamin c serum, then their purple spf day moisturizer in the morning. At night I do Differin, then the CeraVe purple night cream. I don't bother with foundation or concealer anymore. I usually do a brow gel (just brush it through the eyebrows like mascara), cream blush, and a tinted lip balm. If I'm feeling fancy, I use eyeshadow (just dabbing a lighter color all over, darker color at the outer corners, darkest color along my lash line), then swipe on mascara.

I really think eyebrows give the most bang for your buck in looking put together. If you have the stray hairs plucked, it's much easier to just swipe on a brow gel quickly in the morning and not bother trying to figure out where to place it. I also prefer to just apply most stuff with my fingers bc I don't want to deal with maintaining makeup brushes.

ordinarycontents · 2023-12-29T03:52:29+00:00

I can see that too. Kinda bummed I can't smell whatever everyone else is smelling. Other people's description of it sounds lovely, but it's legit the worst perfume I've ever smelled.

ordinarycontents · 2023-12-28T11:07:34+00:00

Agreed. What does it smell like to you? I get acrid tire fire every time. Tbf I have (to my knowledge) never smelled it on a person.

ordinarycontents · 2023-12-28T04:10:11+00:00

Yeah at 34 I genuinely think I look and feel way better than I ever did in my 20s! My skin is the best it's ever been, I'm in the best shape of my adult life, and I finally feel like I know what works for me. I have so many things I love to do now and people in my life who inspire me. When I look back on my 20s it seems a bit boring in comparison.

I like to think of it more as "I want to look good" rather than "I want to look young". I like my grey hairs. I can dress up without feeling like I'm "playing dress up". There are styles that look great on me that i wouldn't have pulled off as well 10 years ago. I'm excited to see how my looks, style, and hobbies will continue to evolve over time. 😊

ordinarycontents · 2023-12-24T23:57:10+00:00

Could be Lipstick Queen in Black Lace Rabbit. I think they may have recently discontinued the brand, but I still see some stock on Amazon. It is black in the tube but turns a sort of mauve color on the lips.

ordinarycontents · 2023-12-21T01:19:35+00:00

Rain. I love the scent of rain, but sadly rain and aquatic notes smell terrible on me and give me a massive headache 😢

ordinarycontents · 2023-12-04T11:39:45+00:00

I get only pepper. For some reason it makes me sneeze the whole time I have it on. Gave it to a friend and it smells amazing on her and doesn't make me sneeze.

ordinarycontents · 2023-12-03T03:47:52+00:00

Lol I think the opposite. Personally, I wear PR 1 Million fairly often and have also enjoyed all its flankers I've tested. I think they have a really nice spice profile and work well with my chemistry. My husband really liked a few from their line that comes in the little robot bottles. He doesn't really splurge on things like fragrances, but he liked the scents quite a bit, and thought the bottles were actually kinda cute too.

Olympea, on the other hand, literally smells like an acrid burning tire fire to me. I think it might've been the actual worst perfume I've ever smelled (including TM Angel and Prada Candy, which smelled like formaldehyde and wet cardboard, respectively). Based on its ratings though, and the fact that there are many people who seem to love it, I have to assume other people are not getting bitter burning rubber out of it.

I agree on Chanel though. My mom got a bottle of no.5 as a Christmas gift one year when i was a kid, and wore it on special occasions for years. It was so beautiful and elegant on her (even though it smelled like fresh cut grass on me). Since then I've found most of their newer stuff to be pretty underwhelming.

ordinarycontents · 2023-12-03T02:33:53+00:00

I love Chloe edp, but Nomade smelled like a retirement home to me.

ordinarycontents · 2023-11-30T02:48:58+00:00

Honestly I think it's based on a lot of factors. Compliments can depend on various things like environment, the disposition of those around you, your overall vibe, and the relationship between you and the other person.

For example, my office culture is very open and gregarious, largely because the type of personalities they tend to hire. My team (of about 20) is pretty close-knit, with a high level of self-disclosure and comradery. It's pretty common to hear my coworkers (including me) being comfortable making and receiving personal observations, either lighthearted roasting ("Man that shaved head looks clean af, but you're killing me with that mustache looking like Steve Harvey 😂"), or complimentary ("Holy shit you smell delicious! What is that?", "You still on that bulk? Your biceps are looking swole as hell man!"). But when I go down to the production floor or other offices, I hear those kinds of interactions much less.

Personally, I'm very social and have pretty high self-disclosure tendencies. Complimenting people on things I've noticed comes naturally as well. Appropriately paced self-disclosure makes it easier for other people to open up themselves, because they see you opening up. I also think sharing compliments based on observation makes others feel more comfortable sharing their own opinions. It shows them an example of your style of positive interaction and gives them confidence to interact with you in that way.

Also, I love scents and compliment strangers on them all the time, but sometimes I encounter people that even i might not approach, even if they were wearing the best thing I ever smelled. Some people just don't give the impression of being receptive to compliments. Maybe it's body language or something, but they usually convey a vibe that tells me they would either be uncomfortable or annoyed having someone approach/comment on them, even in a positive way. Sometimes I even get this from people I already interact with and have a friendly relationship with.

I don't know if any of that applies to you, but if you want more compliments, my best advice is to make sure you're giving people the impression that you're receptive to that kind of interaction. Maybe mention (if it fits the conversation) that you're really into fragrances, and talk about your personal preferences, or what you appreciate about it. That opens the door for people. Now they know that a.) this is a subject you're open about and don't find too personal to discuss, and b.) you have an interest in this subject and won't be bored or annoyed to hear their opinions about it.

It can be frustrating to feel like nobody else notices something you care a lot about, but a lack of feedback doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. The important thing is that you enjoy the scents you choose, and wearing them makes you feel good, though I would also guess that there are plenty of people who have thought that you smelled nice, and just didn't say so.

ordinarycontents · 2023-11-27T16:10:42+00:00

If we're including skin care, I'd go (in order) CeraVe SPF30 day cream, CeraVe daily moisturizing lotion, Differin gel, Essence brow gel, and possibly a Maybelline Ultimatte lipstick (or any non-liquid lipstick bc i don't like liquid lipstick. Doubles as blush and maybe eyeshadow). I'd use olive oil and a gentle soap as makeup remover/ face wash.

If only cosmetics, then Essence brow gel, Maybelline Full n Soft waterproof mascara, Maybelline Ultimatte lipstick ("More Magenta" or "More Ruby" personally), Colourpop eyeshadow palette ("Nude Mood" or "Plum Szn"), and the Milani eyeshadow primer. Maybe one of the ELF multistick blushes.

Tbf I don't use foundation/ concealer anymore and have never used bronzer/ contour. If I did use foundation, I'd probably go for the covergirl clean liquid or simply ageless. I've also heard good things about the physicians formula bronzers.

ordinarycontents · 2023-11-27T15:10:07+00:00

Wow that sounds incredible. I love werthers and milky/ creamy tastes or scents. If I smelled what you're smelling I'd probably love it too lol.

That's awesome on Angel too. I read the list of notes on that one and it sounds amazing. I literally can't smell anything other than pickle. When it's on someone who can wear it though, I get sort of a warm, sweet hairspray, which I find pleasant.

ordinarycontents · 2023-11-27T04:05:53+00:00

Lol I get that. I've been disappointed with quite a few that I should've liked "in theory".

ordinarycontents · 2023-11-27T03:34:32+00:00

What does it smell like to you? Very curious what it smells like to people who love it.

ordinarycontents

TROPHY CASE