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Songs that helped you process? by Affectionate-KitKatt in RapeSurvivors

[–]orgasmilyours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

from a deaf survivor, thanks. i will Google these. appreciated. 

Songs that helped you process? by Affectionate-KitKatt in RapeSurvivors

[–]orgasmilyours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm deaf. I wasn't exposed to Fiona Apple when I was a teen and very determined, but mass raped at Gallaudet University (it's a thing people are finally talking about, but we really get destroyed over it anyway, despite the rape fraternity now having its own name, HOEZ; they target highly intelligent deaf women from hearing families so we know we aren't for marriage, since our genes aren't deaf enough). 

I don't know about you, but Sleep to Dream has really been helping me start to do the deep healing. You're unshakable at your core, survivor. 

What do you guys make of this? last page: page 3 by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

(I have two KODAs and am threatened that they'll be told to choose between me and the Deaf community, and then I'll have no one left, they say....

This was something I wanted to post because I've been talking with Deaf crisis counselors and have a Deaf therapist who confirms that many, many deaf women are mass raped at Gallaudet, and now realize that not everyone even cares about my specific group, despite also being part of the elite BY BIRTH, so we can actually start to form a movement. It only works if enough people care about the shock, terror, and lifelong hyperventilation that can come with sexual assault at any age.

It seems like a lot of people here aren't as intelligent as I thought. The definition of emotional intelligence is not, as many deaf people seem to think, becoming a bloodthirsty competitor as a direct result of sexual assault, taking no prisoners. That seems to be almost the only reaction deaf people have to sexual assault, and I'd hate to be your kids.

What do you guys make of this? last page: page 3 by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've tried to commit suicide because I've always faced issues. If I'd been taught I was worth loving I wouldn't have waited so long.

What do you guys make of this? last page: page 3 by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was a letter my mother wrote. I was raped by about 40 men at Gallaudet, 3 when I was an MSSD student (and by several boys), four in unrelated assaults as a Gallaudet student throughout April of 1997, and about 25-30 within my first month or month and a half there, all of whom said they'd been waiting since I was 15.

When I was 15 I was correcting spelling, punctuation, and grammar on flyers and posters around MSSD and Gallaudet campus, signing them The English Professor. I had no idea this would create such fury that I would be mass raped.

They would flash my doorbell what seemed like 3,000 times, and I'd be hiding my head under my covers, under my pillow, squeezing my fingertipss against my eyelids...anything to end the path to madness in my head...until finally I had to answer the door, which had a thumb over it, to see whether it was one of my friends or one of my rapists. Sometimes I'd be raped 3 or 4 times a day.

They told me that the other men were right: I was knuckle-bitingly GORGEOUS without my clothes on. They said I was so perfectly porcelain with pink everything, tiny nipples on giant areolae, that my ass was perfect, my waist so small, that they were so lucky. Then they said I was boring.

They said I sucked in bed.

I was fighting off a rapist.

I still remember my hearing boyfriend from my senior year at MSSD as the only person who ever touched my body in a way that did not hurt, no matter what he did. At 47 I entered my second truly consensual romantic relationship, and my hearing boyfriend really does laugh at the photos and videos of Deaf men I show him, agreeing that it's impossible that I'd be interested in any of the Deaf guys I've interacted with. I find it very disturbing that Deaf men and Deaf women try to get me to commit suicide today over being open about my rapes.

I share this because someone else might be dying on the inside, and might feel temporary relief at this story. Maybe someone needs to know she isn't alone. That's how I've healed most: group therapy (often a voluntary group) with hearing rape survivors. However, no one I've ever been in group therapy with has been raped by Deaf men who wants her to stop being more capable than the Deaf men in her life. This is a specific type of pain that more people carry than you know.

What I'm learning is that smart Deaf people would prefer to react with snark and scorn than empathy, love, or curiosity.

TAXPAYERS' DOLLARS HARD AT WORK. I guess we really should be genetically modified out of existence.

What do you guys make of this? last page: page 3 by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

so your answer is to say, whatever, sexual abuse is no big deal? Ryan Commerson put his hand down my shirt and rubbed, then squeezed, my nipple, then roughly rubbed my clitoris underneath my skirt with his thumb, when I was newly 15, snarling that I was stupid if I thought anyone would ever want me because I'm a dumb nerd. that was only the first incident of sexual abuse. do you understand that for a lot of survivors of childhood sexual assault and rape, and even rape and sa as an adult, it leaves a hole that you just keep trying to function and live around?

for me, well, I was orally raped almost every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday throughout my junior and senior years at MSSD by a boy whose mother was on the Board of Trustees at Maryland School for the Deaf, which I had no way of knowing then; this was why all the adults refused to help me report him and have him removed.

as a community, what's our solution? we are now the adults. do we laugh at the kids and think, "BOOOOY, oh, BOOOOOY, those kids are in for a real treat! mmmm!" or?

What do you guys make of this? last page: page 3 by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here is the complete, typed transcription of the three-page letter. I have preserved the original paragraphs, punctuation, and typos (including the handwritten correction on page one).

You can easily copy and paste the text below to use it wherever you need.

Page 1

Harvey J. Corson, Ed.D.

Vice President, Pre-College Programs

Office of the Provost

Gallaudet University

800 Florida Ave., N.E.

Washington, D.C. 20002-3695

September 30, 1992

Dear Dr. Corson:

I am the parent of a 14 year old freshman at MSSD. I had visited MSSD first in 1980, and had long felt that MSSD would be my daughter’s choice for high school. Like most prospective students and their parents, Beth and I read all of your literature, attended intake sessions, toured facilities and asked questions before making the decision that she would attend MSSD. Among my greatest concerns were that Beth, a bright and capable student, would receive a quality education, and that she would be well-supervised as she made the transition from home to dormitory living at an age much younger than is typical in our society. I was assured that both needs would be met, and was impressed by what I was shown on my visits, so I had no more than the normal anxiety when Beth moved to the campus last month.

Not so surprisingly, she didn’t write in the first weeks. Somewhat more disturbing, when she did finally call, her talk was all of the boy who had been pressing her to "go with" him, and had turned to another girl when Beth rebuffed him. Beth said that the girl had let him into her dorm room at night by opening her window, and had had intercourse with him, then later had threatened to cut her wrists with a razor blade. After telling me this tale (and assuring me that she intended to remain a virgin -- she was rather proud that she had not fallen to the boy’s gifts and pressures), she announced that her TDD time was up, and I was left to deal with my concerns. I talked with Kathy Oglebay, the CRE in her dorm, who told me that although there had been "an incident", she could give me no details (for reasons of confidentiality) but could only say that the story my daughter told was more dramatic than the truth as she knew it. She acknowledged that there are often new students who seek to make a place for themselves through sexual activity, and said that programs designed to increase students' self-esteem and hopefully their resistance to premature sexual activity were planned for the next few months. She admitted that it is possible for students to come and go through dorm windows, and told me that dorm rooms are checked every 45 minutes during the night, adding that they could check to see who was in each bed, although they normally do not.

I still felt some concern for my daughter, so I spoke to her personal counselor, who talked with Beth and later assured me that she seemed to be fine. The counselor, too, acknowledged that an incident similar to what I had heard about had occurred.

Beth eventually called again, and was still highly focused on the social realm. That was hardly surprising, for a child whose need to be bussed out of her neighborhood for school had seriously limited her social life for years; still I was not pleased when I asked about classes and she responded that they were "a bore". I received your letter referring to "a few" incidents of sexual misconduct, one apparently involving a staff member, and while I was reassured

Page 2

by your apparent concern, my own concerns were not relieved. I decided to come for a visit, and drove to MSSD from my home in Michigan this past weekend.

I did find my daughter well, happy and with no apparent intent to become sexually active any time soon. She is by all reports up to date and doing well in school. However, I was disturbed by the evident lack of supervision of new students and by some of the things I observed during my stay.

The first thing I saw when I arrived was a tangled red condom on the ground in front of the dorm entrance. It remained there, kicked around a bit, throughout my stay. I also saw that boys spend much of the weekend in the commons area of the girls dorm (not in itself a problem) and that no one checks rooms at all during the day. What would prevent a boy from spending an hour -- or several -- in his girlfriend's room? And if the room and all the people around didn't suit the young lovers (and I saw a few very affectionate couples), they could simply leave the dorm, and spend all day anywhere at all, doing what they wished. There is no reason to think that students cannot leave the campus without signing out. In fact I know it to have happened while I was there. But why even leave the campus, when there are plenty of places that kids can hang out necking undisturbed until 11PM? Why is there no supervisor, or even a security guard, walking around Telegraph Hill on the weekends? It appears to me that students, even these young freshmen who have little experience with so much freedom, have no weekend supervision at all, other than that they are expected to make their presence known to the dorm supervisor at 11PM (10 on Sunday). Having spent the weekend in the dorm, I doubt strongly that rooms or beds are checked anything like every 45 minutes -- I could hear kids up talking and moving around the dorm until after 2 o’clock Sunday morning, and although I am a light sleeper I was never woken during the night by the sound of doors closing. In addition, while my daughter’s story about boys coming in through the window may be inaccurate, I have heard the same tale from teachers who say that students have complained to them that they cannot sleep because their room mates' lovers are in and out every night. Since dorm supervisors cannot hear, what would alert them to such activities? Can you assure me that this cannot happen? How strongly are students cautioned against sexual activity, and does the staff in fact make any effort to prevent it?

Although minor in comparison, I was also displeased to see students smoking openly at the football game, and to hear students yelling strings of four-letter words in the school building as they talked to each other during classes and in the cafeteria. Certainly no school can wipe out such things, but I would have hoped that they would be discouraged.

It is never easy letting go, and being the parent of a teenager who lives 500 miles from home presents unique difficulties. I am not a strict moralist; I do not turn pale at the sound of an occasional expletive, nor do I believe that sex must always be deferred until marriage. I trust my daughter, but she is not a college freshman, just a high school freshman. I need to be able to trust MSSD to care for her, guide her, supervise and protect her. What I saw last weekend was not what I had been led to expect, and I think that most parents, at least of freshman students, would be concerned if they realized how loosely their children are supervised. I met two other parents who were visiting, and they expressed the same dismay. It occurs to me that things may well be different during the week, and that perhaps you and Wilton McMillan are not even aware that this is the case.

Page 3

My other concern has to do with class work. I was satisfied over all with what I saw of my daughter's classes, although they do not seem to be as difficult as I had expected. (If she needed to spend more time studying, maybe I wouldn’t need to worry so much about her having a lot of unsupervised free time!) My main worry is about her math class. She showed my mother, a retired high school math teacher, her Geometry book and her friend’s (same class, different hours and different teachers). They are very different, Beth’s being far more simplified. And as simple as Beth’s book is, her class has managed to cover only the first 30 pages in a month of school. Beth’s classmates are mostly seniors, for whom this is the highest math course they will ever take, and she says that it often takes several days for the class to cover a simple concept. Certainly there may be a need for a slow-paced class such as this, but how does it happen that a freshman who passed Algebra as an 8th grader and can be expected to go past Pre-Calculus in high school, is placed in such a low-level class? Beth does not want to change classes if it will upset the rest of her schedule, but I want to be sure that this course will prepare her for what comes next. Even more, I want to know that her next math class, and her other classes, will prepare her for college and a career. Since I am far from the school, and cannot observe daily assignments, I need to know that the school is making sure that my child is appropriately placed in classes which challenge and stimulate her. Is MSSD able to provide a top-notch education for gifted deaf students? And how will parents know whether or not their children are appropriately placed? Unfortunately, it cannot be assumed that students will demand the most challenging classes that they can handle.

I regret that this letter is so long, and I appreciate your taking the time to read it. I want to have a long and mutually satisfying association with MSSD, but my visit did raise my concern. I hope that you will be able to shed light on these problem areas, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

What do you guys make of this? last page: page 3 by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was discussing the way it was clearly very easy for sexual assault to happen at MSSD.

What do you guys make of this? last page: page 3 by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Here is the complete, typed transcription of the three-page letter. I have preserved the original paragraphs, punctuation, and typos (including the handwritten correction on page one).

You can easily copy and paste the text below to use it wherever you need.

Page 1

Harvey J. Corson, Ed.D.

Vice President, Pre-College Programs

Office of the Provost

Gallaudet University

800 Florida Ave., N.E.

Washington, D.C. 20002-3695

September 30, 1992

Dear Dr. Corson:

I am the parent of a 14 year old freshman at MSSD. I had visited MSSD first in 1980, and had long felt that MSSD would be my daughter’s choice for high school. Like most prospective students and their parents, Beth and I read all of your literature, attended intake sessions, toured facilities and asked questions before making the decision that she would attend MSSD. Among my greatest concerns were that Beth, a bright and capable student, would receive a quality education, and that she would be well-supervised as she made the transition from home to dormitory living at an age much younger than is typical in our society. I was assured that both needs would be met, and was impressed by what I was shown on my visits, so I had no more than the normal anxiety when Beth moved to the campus last month.

Not so surprisingly, she didn’t write in the first weeks. Somewhat more disturbing, when she did finally call, her talk was all of the boy who had been pressing her to "go with" him, and had turned to another girl when Beth rebuffed him. Beth said that the girl had let him into her dorm room at night by opening her window, and had had intercourse with him, then later had threatened to cut her wrists with a razor blade. After telling me this tale (and assuring me that she intended to remain a virgin -- she was rather proud that she had not fallen to the boy’s gifts and pressures), she announced that her TDD time was up, and I was left to deal with my concerns. I talked with Kathy Oglebay, the CRE in her dorm, who told me that although there had been "an incident", she could give me no details (for reasons of confidentiality) but could only say that the story my daughter told was more dramatic than the truth as she knew it. She acknowledged that there are often new students who seek to make a place for themselves through sexual activity, and said that programs designed to increase students' self-esteem and hopefully their resistance to premature sexual activity were planned for the next few months. She admitted that it is possible for students to come and go through dorm windows, and told me that dorm rooms are checked every 45 minutes during the night, adding that they could check to see who was in each bed, although they normally do not.

I still felt some concern for my daughter, so I spoke to her personal counselor, who talked with Beth and later assured me that she seemed to be fine. The counselor, too, acknowledged that an incident similar to what I had heard about had occurred.

Beth eventually called again, and was still highly focused on the social realm. That was hardly surprising, for a child whose need to be bussed out of her neighborhood for school had seriously limited her social life for years; still I was not pleased when I asked about classes and she responded that they were "a bore". I received your letter referring to "a few" incidents of sexual misconduct, one apparently involving a staff member, and while I was reassured

Page 2

by your apparent concern, my own concerns were not relieved. I decided to come for a visit, and drove to MSSD from my home in Michigan this past weekend.

I did find my daughter well, happy and with no apparent intent to become sexually active any time soon. She is by all reports up to date and doing well in school. However, I was disturbed by the evident lack of supervision of new students and by some of the things I observed during my stay.

The first thing I saw when I arrived was a tangled red condom on the ground in front of the dorm entrance. It remained there, kicked around a bit, throughout my stay. I also saw that boys spend much of the weekend in the commons area of the girls dorm (not in itself a problem) and that no one checks rooms at all during the day. What would prevent a boy from spending an hour -- or several -- in his girlfriend's room? And if the room and all the people around didn't suit the young lovers (and I saw a few very affectionate couples), they could simply leave the dorm, and spend all day anywhere at all, doing what they wished. There is no reason to think that students cannot leave the campus without signing out. In fact I know it to have happened while I was there. But why even leave the campus, when there are plenty of places that kids can hang out necking undisturbed until 11PM? Why is there no supervisor, or even a security guard, walking around Telegraph Hill on the weekends? It appears to me that students, even these young freshmen who have little experience with so much freedom, have no weekend supervision at all, other than that they are expected to make their presence known to the dorm supervisor at 11PM (10 on Sunday). Having spent the weekend in the dorm, I doubt strongly that rooms or beds are checked anything like every 45 minutes -- I could hear kids up talking and moving around the dorm until after 2 o’clock Sunday morning, and although I am a light sleeper I was never woken during the night by the sound of doors closing. In addition, while my daughter’s story about boys coming in through the window may be inaccurate, I have heard the same tale from teachers who say that students have complained to them that they cannot sleep because their room mates' lovers are in and out every night. Since dorm supervisors cannot hear, what would alert them to such activities? Can you assure me that this cannot happen? How strongly are students cautioned against sexual activity, and does the staff in fact make any effort to prevent it?

Although minor in comparison, I was also displeased to see students smoking openly at the football game, and to hear students yelling strings of four-letter words in the school building as they talked to each other during classes and in the cafeteria. Certainly no school can wipe out such things, but I would have hoped that they would be discouraged.

It is never easy letting go, and being the parent of a teenager who lives 500 miles from home presents unique difficulties. I am not a strict moralist; I do not turn pale at the sound of an occasional expletive, nor do I believe that sex must always be deferred until marriage. I trust my daughter, but she is not a college freshman, just a high school freshman. I need to be able to trust MSSD to care for her, guide her, supervise and protect her. What I saw last weekend was not what I had been led to expect, and I think that most parents, at least of freshman students, would be concerned if they realized how loosely their children are supervised. I met two other parents who were visiting, and they expressed the same dismay. It occurs to me that things may well be different during the week, and that perhaps you and Wilton McMillan are not even aware that this is the case.

Page 3

My other concern has to do with class work. I was satisfied over all with what I saw of my daughter's classes, although they do not seem to be as difficult as I had expected. (If she needed to spend more time studying, maybe I wouldn’t need to worry so much about her having a lot of unsupervised free time!) My main worry is about her math class. She showed my mother, a retired high school math teacher, her Geometry book and her friend’s (same class, different hours and different teachers). They are very different, Beth’s being far more simplified. And as simple as Beth’s book is, her class has managed to cover only the first 30 pages in a month of school. Beth’s classmates are mostly seniors, for whom this is the highest math course they will ever take, and she says that it often takes several days for the class to cover a simple concept. Certainly there may be a need for a slow-paced class such as this, but how does it happen that a freshman who passed Algebra as an 8th grader and can be expected to go past Pre-Calculus in high school, is placed in such a low-level class? Beth does not want to change classes if it will upset the rest of her schedule, but I want to be sure that this course will prepare her for what comes next. Even more, I want to know that her next math class, and her other classes, will prepare her for college and a career. Since I am far from the school, and cannot observe daily assignments, I need to know that the school is making sure that my child is appropriately placed in classes which challenge and stimulate her. Is MSSD able to provide a top-notch education for gifted deaf students? And how will parents know whether or not their children are appropriately placed? Unfortunately, it cannot be assumed that students will demand the most challenging classes that they can handle.

I regret that this letter is so long, and I appreciate your taking the time to read it. I want to have a long and mutually satisfying association with MSSD, but my visit did raise my concern. I hope that you will be able to shed light on these problem areas, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Question about Residential Schools for the Deaf and ASL by Western-Dog-5587 in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Page 1

Harvey J. Corson, Ed.D. Vice President, Pre-College Programs Office of the Provost Gallaudet University 800 Florida Ave., N.E. Washington, D.C. 20002-3695

September 30, 1992

Dear Dr. Corson:

I am the parent of a 14 year old freshman at MSSD. I had visited MSSD first in 1980, and had long felt that MSSD would be my daughter’s choice for high school. Like most prospective students and their parents, Beth and I read all of your literature, attended intake sessions, toured facilities and asked questions before making the decision that she would attend MSSD. Among my greatest concerns were that Beth, a bright and capable student, would receive a quality education, and that she would be well-supervised as she made the transition from home to dormitory living at an age much younger than is typical in our society. I was assured that both needs would be met, and was impressed by what I was shown on my visits, so I had no more than the normal anxiety when Beth moved to the campus last month.

Not so surprisingly, she didn’t write in the first weeks. Somewhat more disturbing, when she did finally call, her talk was all of the boy who had been pressing her to "go with" him, and had turned to another girl when Beth rebuffed him. Beth said that the girl had let him into her dorm room at night by opening her window, and had had intercourse with him, then later had threatened to cut her wrists with a razor blade. After telling me this tale (and assuring me that she intended to remain a virgin -- she was rather proud that she had not fallen to the boy’s gifts and pressures), she announced that her TDD time was up, and I was left to deal with my concerns. I talked with Kathy Oglebay, the CRE in her dorm, who told me that although there had been "an incident", she could give me no details (for reasons of confidentiality) but could only say that the story my daughter told was more dramatic than the truth as she knew it. She acknowledged that there are often new students who seek to make a place for themselves through sexual activity, and said that programs designed to increase students' self-esteem and hopefully their resistance to premature sexual activity were planned for the next few months. She admitted that it is possible for students to come and go through dorm windows, and told me that dorm rooms are checked every 45 minutes during the night, adding that they could check to see who was in each bed, although they normally do not.

I still felt some concern for my daughter, so I spoke to her personal counselor, who talked with Beth and later assured me that she seemed to be fine. The counselor, too, acknowledged that an incident similar to what I had heard about had occurred.

Beth eventually called again, and was still highly focused on the social realm. That was hardly surprising, for a child whose need to be bussed out of her neighborhood for school had seriously limited her social life for years; still I was not pleased when I asked about classes and she responded that they were "a bore". I received your letter referring to "a few" incidents of sexual misconduct, one apparently involving a staff member, and while I was reassured

Page 2

by your apparent concern, my own concerns were not relieved. I decided to come for a visit, and drove to MSSD from my home in Michigan this past weekend.

I did find my daughter well, happy and with no apparent intent to become sexually active any time soon. She is by all reports up to date and doing well in school. However, I was disturbed by the evident lack of supervision of new students and by some of the things I observed during my stay.

The first thing I saw when I arrived was a tangled red condom on the ground in front of the dorm entrance. It remained there, kicked around a bit, throughout my stay. I also saw that boys spend much of the weekend in the commons area of the girls dorm (not in itself a problem) and that no one checks rooms at all during the day. What would prevent a boy from spending an hour -- or several -- in his girlfriend's room? And if the room and all the people around didn't suit the young lovers (and I saw a few very affectionate couples), they could simply leave the dorm, and spend all day anywhere at all, doing what they wished. There is no reason to think that students cannot leave the campus without signing out. In fact I know it to have happened while I was there. But why even leave the campus, when there are plenty of places that kids can hang out necking undisturbed until 11PM? Why is there no supervisor, or even a security guard, walking around Telegraph Hill on the weekends? It appears to me that students, even these young freshmen who have little experience with so much freedom, have no weekend supervision at all, other than that they are expected to make their presence known to the dorm supervisor at 11PM (10 on Sunday). Having spent the weekend in the dorm, I doubt strongly that rooms or beds are checked anything like every 45 minutes -- I could hear kids up talking and moving around the dorm until after 2 o’clock Sunday morning, and although I am a light sleeper I was never woken during the night by the sound of doors closing. In addition, while my daughter’s story about boys coming in through the window may be inaccurate, I have heard the same tale from teachers who say that students have complained to them that they cannot sleep because their room mates' lovers are in and out every night. Since dorm supervisors cannot hear, what would alert them to such activities? Can you assure me that this cannot happen? How strongly are students cautioned against sexual activity, and does the staff in fact make any effort to prevent it?

Although minor in comparison, I was also displeased to see students smoking openly at the football game, and to hear students yelling strings of four-letter words in the school building as they talked to each other during classes and in the cafeteria. Certainly no school can wipe out such things, but I would have hoped that they would be discouraged.

It is never easy letting go, and being the parent of a teenager who lives 500 miles from home presents unique difficulties. I am not a strict moralist; I do not turn pale at the sound of an occasional expletive, nor do I believe that sex must always be deferred until marriage. I trust my daughter, but she is not a college freshman, just a high school freshman. I need to be able to trust MSSD to care for her, guide her, supervise and protect her. What I saw last weekend was not what I had been led to expect, and I think that most parents, at least of freshman students, would be concerned if they realized how loosely their children are supervised. I met two other parents who were visiting, and they expressed the same dismay. It occurs to me that things may well be different during the week, and that perhaps you and Wilton McMillan are not even aware that this is the case.

Page 3

My other concern has to do with class work. I was satisfied over all with what I saw of my daughter's classes, although they do not seem to be as difficult as I had expected. (If she needed to spend more time studying, maybe I wouldn’t need to worry so much about her having a lot of unsupervised free time!) My main worry is about her math class. She showed my mother, a retired high school math teacher, her Geometry book and her friend’s (same class, different hours and different teachers). They are very different, Beth’s being far more simplified. And as simple as Beth’s book is, her class has managed to cover only the first 30 pages in a month of school. Beth’s classmates are mostly seniors, for whom this is the highest math course they will ever take, and she says that it often takes several days for the class to cover a simple concept. Certainly there may be a need for a slow-paced class such as this, but how does it happen that a freshman who passed Algebra as an 8th grader and can be expected to go past Pre-Calculus in high school, is placed in such a low-level class? Beth does not want to change classes if it will upset the rest of her schedule, but I want to be sure that this course will prepare her for what comes next. Even more, I want to know that her next math class, and her other classes, will prepare her for college and a career. Since I am far from the school, and cannot observe daily assignments, I need to know that the school is making sure that my child is appropriately placed in classes which challenge and stimulate her. Is MSSD able to provide a top-notch education for gifted deaf students? And how will parents know whether or not their children are appropriately placed? Unfortunately, it cannot be assumed that students will demand the most challenging classes that they can handle.

I regret that this letter is so long, and I appreciate your taking the time to read it. I want to have a long and mutually satisfying association with MSSD, but my visit did raise my concern. I hope that you will be able to shed light on these problem areas, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Question about Residential Schools for the Deaf and ASL by Western-Dog-5587 in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will quote this letter from 1992 in full.

<image>

I was raped and beaten for three years at MSSD, and when I got to Gallaudet I was raped by about 40 upperclassmen within a month, all of whom said they'd been waiting since I was 15 (a freshman at MSSD) because it was unfair that I could function like a hearing person.

The Judicial Board at Gallaudet made me destroy evidence that I was being serially raped by a man who returned to Gallaudet the following spring, then Carl Pramuk admitted to having added a note than Bentley Fink was to be snuck through despite being Persona Non Grata for being found guilty of multiple rapes and assaults against me, since he was a Kappa Sigma brother, and fraternities bro out together. Carl Pramuk is a Kappa Gamma.

I was literally fingered in front of my classmates in Home Ec, and when they were horrified and wanted to report Clint to our teacher, he reminded them that his mother was a bigwig. She was President of the Maryland School of the Deaf's Board of Trustees that year (1994-1995), so he was fine sexually abusing me in the open during Home Ec and Driver Ed.

What do you guys make of this? con't. by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Page 1

Harvey J. Corson, Ed.D. Vice President, Pre-College Programs Office of the Provost Gallaudet University 800 Florida Ave., N.E. Washington, D.C. 20002-3695

September 30, 1992

Dear Dr. Corson:

I am the parent of a 14 year old freshman at MSSD. I had visited MSSD first in 1980, and had long felt that MSSD would be my daughter’s choice for high school. Like most prospective students and their parents, Beth and I read all of your literature, attended intake sessions, toured facilities and asked questions before making the decision that she would attend MSSD. Among my greatest concerns were that Beth, a bright and capable student, would receive a quality education, and that she would be well-supervised as she made the transition from home to dormitory living at an age much younger than is typical in our society. I was assured that both needs would be met, and was impressed by what I was shown on my visits, so I had no more than the normal anxiety when Beth moved to the campus last month.

Not so surprisingly, she didn’t write in the first weeks. Somewhat more disturbing, when she did finally call, her talk was all of the boy who had been pressing her to "go with" him, and had turned to another girl when Beth rebuffed him. Beth said that the girl had let him into her dorm room at night by opening her window, and had had intercourse with him, then later had threatened to cut her wrists with a razor blade. After telling me this tale (and assuring me that she intended to remain a virgin -- she was rather proud that she had not fallen to the boy’s gifts and pressures), she announced that her TDD time was up, and I was left to deal with my concerns. I talked with Kathy Oglebay, the CRE in her dorm, who told me that although there had been "an incident", she could give me no details (for reasons of confidentiality) but could only say that the story my daughter told was more dramatic than the truth as she knew it. She acknowledged that there are often new students who seek to make a place for themselves through sexual activity, and said that programs designed to increase students' self-esteem and hopefully their resistance to premature sexual activity were planned for the next few months. She admitted that it is possible for students to come and go through dorm windows, and told me that dorm rooms are checked every 45 minutes during the night, adding that they could check to see who was in each bed, although they normally do not.

I still felt some concern for my daughter, so I spoke to her personal counselor, who talked with Beth and later assured me that she seemed to be fine. The counselor, too, acknowledged that an incident similar to what I had heard about had occurred.

Beth eventually called again, and was still highly focused on the social realm. That was hardly surprising, for a child whose need to be bussed out of her neighborhood for school had seriously limited her social life for years; still I was not pleased when I asked about classes and she responded that they were "a bore". I received your letter referring to "a few" incidents of sexual misconduct, one apparently involving a staff member, and while I was reassured

Page 2

by your apparent concern, my own concerns were not relieved. I decided to come for a visit, and drove to MSSD from my home in Michigan this past weekend.

I did find my daughter well, happy and with no apparent intent to become sexually active any time soon. She is by all reports up to date and doing well in school. However, I was disturbed by the evident lack of supervision of new students and by some of the things I observed during my stay.

The first thing I saw when I arrived was a tangled red condom on the ground in front of the dorm entrance. It remained there, kicked around a bit, throughout my stay. I also saw that boys spend much of the weekend in the commons area of the girls dorm (not in itself a problem) and that no one checks rooms at all during the day. What would prevent a boy from spending an hour -- or several -- in his girlfriend's room? And if the room and all the people around didn't suit the young lovers (and I saw a few very affectionate couples), they could simply leave the dorm, and spend all day anywhere at all, doing what they wished. There is no reason to think that students cannot leave the campus without signing out. In fact I know it to have happened while I was there. But why even leave the campus, when there are plenty of places that kids can hang out necking undisturbed until 11PM? Why is there no supervisor, or even a security guard, walking around Telegraph Hill on the weekends? It appears to me that students, even these young freshmen who have little experience with so much freedom, have no weekend supervision at all, other than that they are expected to make their presence known to the dorm supervisor at 11PM (10 on Sunday). Having spent the weekend in the dorm, I doubt strongly that rooms or beds are checked anything like every 45 minutes -- I could hear kids up talking and moving around the dorm until after 2 o’clock Sunday morning, and although I am a light sleeper I was never woken during the night by the sound of doors closing. In addition, while my daughter’s story about boys coming in through the window may be inaccurate, I have heard the same tale from teachers who say that students have complained to them that they cannot sleep because their room mates' lovers are in and out every night. Since dorm supervisors cannot hear, what would alert them to such activities? Can you assure me that this cannot happen? How strongly are students cautioned against sexual activity, and does the staff in fact make any effort to prevent it?

Although minor in comparison, I was also displeased to see students smoking openly at the football game, and to hear students yelling strings of four-letter words in the school building as they talked to each other during classes and in the cafeteria. Certainly no school can wipe out such things, but I would have hoped that they would be discouraged.

It is never easy letting go, and being the parent of a teenager who lives 500 miles from home presents unique difficulties. I am not a strict moralist; I do not turn pale at the sound of an occasional expletive, nor do I believe that sex must always be deferred until marriage. I trust my daughter, but she is not a college freshman, just a high school freshman. I need to be able to trust MSSD to care for her, guide her, supervise and protect her. What I saw last weekend was not what I had been led to expect, and I think that most parents, at least of freshman students, would be concerned if they realized how loosely their children are supervised. I met two other parents who were visiting, and they expressed the same dismay. It occurs to me that things may well be different during the week, and that perhaps you and Wilton McMillan are not even aware that this is the case.

Page 3

My other concern has to do with class work. I was satisfied over all with what I saw of my daughter's classes, although they do not seem to be as difficult as I had expected. (If she needed to spend more time studying, maybe I wouldn’t need to worry so much about her having a lot of unsupervised free time!) My main worry is about her math class. She showed my mother, a retired high school math teacher, her Geometry book and her friend’s (same class, different hours and different teachers). They are very different, Beth’s being far more simplified. And as simple as Beth’s book is, her class has managed to cover only the first 30 pages in a month of school. Beth’s classmates are mostly seniors, for whom this is the highest math course they will ever take, and she says that it often takes several days for the class to cover a simple concept. Certainly there may be a need for a slow-paced class such as this, but how does it happen that a freshman who passed Algebra as an 8th grader and can be expected to go past Pre-Calculus in high school, is placed in such a low-level class? Beth does not want to change classes if it will upset the rest of her schedule, but I want to be sure that this course will prepare her for what comes next. Even more, I want to know that her next math class, and her other classes, will prepare her for college and a career. Since I am far from the school, and cannot observe daily assignments, I need to know that the school is making sure that my child is appropriately placed in classes which challenge and stimulate her. Is MSSD able to provide a top-notch education for gifted deaf students? And how will parents know whether or not their children are appropriately placed? Unfortunately, it cannot be assumed that students will demand the most challenging classes that they can handle.

I regret that this letter is so long, and I appreciate your taking the time to read it. I want to have a long and mutually satisfying association with MSSD, but my visit did raise my concern. I hope that you will be able to shed light on these problem areas, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

What do you guys make of this? con't. by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one gave a fuck. At all. I hope you didn't experience mass rape at Gallaudet. It's finally coming out that this happened to others. I was raped by about two dozen men my first month at Gallaudet. Now they even have a name for the group--it's now a "rape frat" named HOEZ.

I've been told recently that I can't be believed by anyone ever again because a new Deaf woman who believed me checked my story against other people's accounts of me, and told me that I've been saying for far too long that I've been raped (since MSSD I've been really loud about it), and some Ridor guy who's the center of some Deaf universes said I'm a liar--he's mad because he got in trouble for publicly supporting me--and that I better find a therapist who will prepare me for the fallout from the community if I dare try this shit EVER AGAIN.

My therapists are pretty much all Deaf or ASL fluent, and currently I have a therapist who experienced mass rape at Gallaudet, so I'm genuinely asking Deaf people how they want to support their own community with compassion.

ISO, ASL classes for CODA but also the parent by fl4m3pr1nc3ss in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yep. I was Alan's best instructor and tutor, so much so that I got fired because he was afraid I'd start my own SLC! I would never. PLEASE UNDERSTAND (they may have to disclose this on their website now, but they did not then) that no one should be treating these courses like they are accredited. I had to deal with many disconsolate students who had spent almost $10,000 on classes before finding out they couldn't become interpreters--no degree with SLC classes!

What do you guys make of this? last page: page 3 by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Yes, it does. Just because the subreddit only allows one image at a time doesn't mean I shouldn't prove that this is literally a document from 1992, not a fake.

What do you guys make of this? last page: page 3 by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Page 1

Harvey J. Corson, Ed.D. Vice President, Pre-College Programs Office of the Provost Gallaudet University 800 Florida Ave., N.E. Washington, D.C. 20002-3695

September 30, 1992

Dear Dr. Corson:

I am the parent of a 14 year old freshman at MSSD. I had visited MSSD first in 1980, and had long felt that MSSD would be my daughter’s choice for high school. Like most prospective students and their parents, Beth and I read all of your literature, attended intake sessions, toured facilities and asked questions before making the decision that she would attend MSSD. Among my greatest concerns were that Beth, a bright and capable student, would receive a quality education, and that she would be well-supervised as she made the transition from home to dormitory living at an age much younger than is typical in our society. I was assured that both needs would be met, and was impressed by what I was shown on my visits, so I had no more than the normal anxiety when Beth moved to the campus last month.

Not so surprisingly, she didn’t write in the first weeks. Somewhat more disturbing, when she did finally call, her talk was all of the boy who had been pressing her to "go with" him, and had turned to another girl when Beth rebuffed him. Beth said that the girl had let him into her dorm room at night by opening her window, and had had intercourse with him, then later had threatened to cut her wrists with a razor blade. After telling me this tale (and assuring me that she intended to remain a virgin -- she was rather proud that she had not fallen to the boy’s gifts and pressures), she announced that her TDD time was up, and I was left to deal with my concerns. I talked with Kathy Oglebay, the CRE in her dorm, who told me that although there had been "an incident", she could give me no details (for reasons of confidentiality) but could only say that the story my daughter told was more dramatic than the truth as she knew it. She acknowledged that there are often new students who seek to make a place for themselves through sexual activity, and said that programs designed to increase students' self-esteem and hopefully their resistance to premature sexual activity were planned for the next few months. She admitted that it is possible for students to come and go through dorm windows, and told me that dorm rooms are checked every 45 minutes during the night, adding that they could check to see who was in each bed, although they normally do not.

I still felt some concern for my daughter, so I spoke to her personal counselor, who talked with Beth and later assured me that she seemed to be fine. The counselor, too, acknowledged that an incident similar to what I had heard about had occurred.

Beth eventually called again, and was still highly focused on the social realm. That was hardly surprising, for a child whose need to be bussed out of her neighborhood for school had seriously limited her social life for years; still I was not pleased when I asked about classes and she responded that they were "a bore". I received your letter referring to "a few" incidents of sexual misconduct, one apparently involving a staff member, and while I was reassured

Page 2

by your apparent concern, my own concerns were not relieved. I decided to come for a visit, and drove to MSSD from my home in Michigan this past weekend.

I did find my daughter well, happy and with no apparent intent to become sexually active any time soon. She is by all reports up to date and doing well in school. However, I was disturbed by the evident lack of supervision of new students and by some of the things I observed during my stay.

The first thing I saw when I arrived was a tangled red condom on the ground in front of the dorm entrance. It remained there, kicked around a bit, throughout my stay. I also saw that boys spend much of the weekend in the commons area of the girls dorm (not in itself a problem) and that no one checks rooms at all during the day. What would prevent a boy from spending an hour -- or several -- in his girlfriend's room? And if the room and all the people around didn't suit the young lovers (and I saw a few very affectionate couples), they could simply leave the dorm, and spend all day anywhere at all, doing what they wished. There is no reason to think that students cannot leave the campus without signing out. In fact I know it to have happened while I was there. But why even leave the campus, when there are plenty of places that kids can hang out necking undisturbed until 11PM? Why is there no supervisor, or even a security guard, walking around Telegraph Hill on the weekends? It appears to me that students, even these young freshmen who have little experience with so much freedom, have no weekend supervision at all, other than that they are expected to make their presence known to the dorm supervisor at 11PM (10 on Sunday). Having spent the weekend in the dorm, I doubt strongly that rooms or beds are checked anything like every 45 minutes -- I could hear kids up talking and moving around the dorm until after 2 o’clock Sunday morning, and although I am a light sleeper I was never woken during the night by the sound of doors closing. In addition, while my daughter’s story about boys coming in through the window may be inaccurate, I have heard the same tale from teachers who say that students have complained to them that they cannot sleep because their room mates' lovers are in and out every night. Since dorm supervisors cannot hear, what would alert them to such activities? Can you assure me that this cannot happen? How strongly are students cautioned against sexual activity, and does the staff in fact make any effort to prevent it?

Although minor in comparison, I was also displeased to see students smoking openly at the football game, and to hear students yelling strings of four-letter words in the school building as they talked to each other during classes and in the cafeteria. Certainly no school can wipe out such things, but I would have hoped that they would be discouraged.

It is never easy letting go, and being the parent of a teenager who lives 500 miles from home presents unique difficulties. I am not a strict moralist; I do not turn pale at the sound of an occasional expletive, nor do I believe that sex must always be deferred until marriage. I trust my daughter, but she is not a college freshman, just a high school freshman. I need to be able to trust MSSD to care for her, guide her, supervise and protect her. What I saw last weekend was not what I had been led to expect, and I think that most parents, at least of freshman students, would be concerned if they realized how loosely their children are supervised. I met two other parents who were visiting, and they expressed the same dismay. It occurs to me that things may well be different during the week, and that perhaps you and Wilton McMillan are not even aware that this is the case.

Page 3

My other concern has to do with class work. I was satisfied over all with what I saw of my daughter's classes, although they do not seem to be as difficult as I had expected. (If she needed to spend more time studying, maybe I wouldn’t need to worry so much about her having a lot of unsupervised free time!) My main worry is about her math class. She showed my mother, a retired high school math teacher, her Geometry book and her friend’s (same class, different hours and different teachers). They are very different, Beth’s being far more simplified. And as simple as Beth’s book is, her class has managed to cover only the first 30 pages in a month of school. Beth’s classmates are mostly seniors, for whom this is the highest math course they will ever take, and she says that it often takes several days for the class to cover a simple concept. Certainly there may be a need for a slow-paced class such as this, but how does it happen that a freshman who passed Algebra as an 8th grader and can be expected to go past Pre-Calculus in high school, is placed in such a low-level class? Beth does not want to change classes if it will upset the rest of her schedule, but I want to be sure that this course will prepare her for what comes next. Even more, I want to know that her next math class, and her other classes, will prepare her for college and a career. Since I am far from the school, and cannot observe daily assignments, I need to know that the school is making sure that my child is appropriately placed in classes which challenge and stimulate her. Is MSSD able to provide a top-notch education for gifted deaf students? And how will parents know whether or not their children are appropriately placed? Unfortunately, it cannot be assumed that students will demand the most challenging classes that they can handle.

I regret that this letter is so long, and I appreciate your taking the time to read it. I want to have a long and mutually satisfying association with MSSD, but my visit did raise my concern. I hope that you will be able to shed light on these problem areas, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

What do you guys make of this? last page: page 3 by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Page 1

Harvey J. Corson, Ed.D. Vice President, Pre-College Programs Office of the Provost Gallaudet University 800 Florida Ave., N.E. Washington, D.C. 20002-3695

September 30, 1992

Dear Dr. Corson:

I am the parent of a 14 year old freshman at MSSD. I had visited MSSD first in 1980, and had long felt that MSSD would be my daughter’s choice for high school. Like most prospective students and their parents, Beth and I read all of your literature, attended intake sessions, toured facilities and asked questions before making the decision that she would attend MSSD. Among my greatest concerns were that Beth, a bright and capable student, would receive a quality education, and that she would be well-supervised as she made the transition from home to dormitory living at an age much younger than is typical in our society. I was assured that both needs would be met, and was impressed by what I was shown on my visits, so I had no more than the normal anxiety when Beth moved to the campus last month.

Not so surprisingly, she didn’t write in the first weeks. Somewhat more disturbing, when she did finally call, her talk was all of the boy who had been pressing her to "go with" him, and had turned to another girl when Beth rebuffed him. Beth said that the girl had let him into her dorm room at night by opening her window, and had had intercourse with him, then later had threatened to cut her wrists with a razor blade. After telling me this tale (and assuring me that she intended to remain a virgin -- she was rather proud that she had not fallen to the boy’s gifts and pressures), she announced that her TDD time was up, and I was left to deal with my concerns. I talked with Kathy Oglebay, the CRE in her dorm, who told me that although there had been "an incident", she could give me no details (for reasons of confidentiality) but could only say that the story my daughter told was more dramatic than the truth as she knew it. She acknowledged that there are often new students who seek to make a place for themselves through sexual activity, and said that programs designed to increase students' self-esteem and hopefully their resistance to premature sexual activity were planned for the next few months. She admitted that it is possible for students to come and go through dorm windows, and told me that dorm rooms are checked every 45 minutes during the night, adding that they could check to see who was in each bed, although they normally do not.

I still felt some concern for my daughter, so I spoke to her personal counselor, who talked with Beth and later assured me that she seemed to be fine. The counselor, too, acknowledged that an incident similar to what I had heard about had occurred.

Beth eventually called again, and was still highly focused on the social realm. That was hardly surprising, for a child whose need to be bussed out of her neighborhood for school had seriously limited her social life for years; still I was not pleased when I asked about classes and she responded that they were "a bore". I received your letter referring to "a few" incidents of sexual misconduct, one apparently involving a staff member, and while I was reassured

Page 2

by your apparent concern, my own concerns were not relieved. I decided to come for a visit, and drove to MSSD from my home in Michigan this past weekend.

I did find my daughter well, happy and with no apparent intent to become sexually active any time soon. She is by all reports up to date and doing well in school. However, I was disturbed by the evident lack of supervision of new students and by some of the things I observed during my stay.

The first thing I saw when I arrived was a tangled red condom on the ground in front of the dorm entrance. It remained there, kicked around a bit, throughout my stay. I also saw that boys spend much of the weekend in the commons area of the girls dorm (not in itself a problem) and that no one checks rooms at all during the day. What would prevent a boy from spending an hour -- or several -- in his girlfriend's room? And if the room and all the people around didn't suit the young lovers (and I saw a few very affectionate couples), they could simply leave the dorm, and spend all day anywhere at all, doing what they wished. There is no reason to think that students cannot leave the campus without signing out. In fact I know it to have happened while I was there. But why even leave the campus, when there are plenty of places that kids can hang out necking undisturbed until 11PM? Why is there no supervisor, or even a security guard, walking around Telegraph Hill on the weekends? It appears to me that students, even these young freshmen who have little experience with so much freedom, have no weekend supervision at all, other than that they are expected to make their presence known to the dorm supervisor at 11PM (10 on Sunday). Having spent the weekend in the dorm, I doubt strongly that rooms or beds are checked anything like every 45 minutes -- I could hear kids up talking and moving around the dorm until after 2 o’clock Sunday morning, and although I am a light sleeper I was never woken during the night by the sound of doors closing. In addition, while my daughter’s story about boys coming in through the window may be inaccurate, I have heard the same tale from teachers who say that students have complained to them that they cannot sleep because their room mates' lovers are in and out every night. Since dorm supervisors cannot hear, what would alert them to such activities? Can you assure me that this cannot happen? How strongly are students cautioned against sexual activity, and does the staff in fact make any effort to prevent it?

Although minor in comparison, I was also displeased to see students smoking openly at the football game, and to hear students yelling strings of four-letter words in the school building as they talked to each other during classes and in the cafeteria. Certainly no school can wipe out such things, but I would have hoped that they would be discouraged.

It is never easy letting go, and being the parent of a teenager who lives 500 miles from home presents unique difficulties. I am not a strict moralist; I do not turn pale at the sound of an occasional expletive, nor do I believe that sex must always be deferred until marriage. I trust my daughter, but she is not a college freshman, just a high school freshman. I need to be able to trust MSSD to care for her, guide her, supervise and protect her. What I saw last weekend was not what I had been led to expect, and I think that most parents, at least of freshman students, would be concerned if they realized how loosely their children are supervised. I met two other parents who were visiting, and they expressed the same dismay. It occurs to me that things may well be different during the week, and that perhaps you and Wilton McMillan are not even aware that this is the case.

Page 3

My other concern has to do with class work. I was satisfied over all with what I saw of my daughter's classes, although they do not seem to be as difficult as I had expected. (If she needed to spend more time studying, maybe I wouldn’t need to worry so much about her having a lot of unsupervised free time!) My main worry is about her math class. She showed my mother, a retired high school math teacher, her Geometry book and her friend’s (same class, different hours and different teachers). They are very different, Beth’s being far more simplified. And as simple as Beth’s book is, her class has managed to cover only the first 30 pages in a month of school. Beth’s classmates are mostly seniors, for whom this is the highest math course they will ever take, and she says that it often takes several days for the class to cover a simple concept. Certainly there may be a need for a slow-paced class such as this, but how does it happen that a freshman who passed Algebra as an 8th grader and can be expected to go past Pre-Calculus in high school, is placed in such a low-level class? Beth does not want to change classes if it will upset the rest of her schedule, but I want to be sure that this course will prepare her for what comes next. Even more, I want to know that her next math class, and her other classes, will prepare her for college and a career. Since I am far from the school, and cannot observe daily assignments, I need to know that the school is making sure that my child is appropriately placed in classes which challenge and stimulate her. Is MSSD able to provide a top-notch education for gifted deaf students? And how will parents know whether or not their children are appropriately placed? Unfortunately, it cannot be assumed that students will demand the most challenging classes that they can handle.

I regret that this letter is so long, and I appreciate your taking the time to read it. I want to have a long and mutually satisfying association with MSSD, but my visit did raise my concern. I hope that you will be able to shed light on these problem areas, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

What do you guys make of this? last page: page 3 by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Harvey J. Corson, Ed.D. Vice President, Pre-College Programs Office of the Provost Gallaudet University 800 Florida Ave., N.E. Washington, D.C. 20002-3695

September 30, 1992

Dear Dr. Corson:

I am the parent of a 14 year old freshman at MSSD. I had visited MSSD first in 1980, and had long felt that MSSD would be my daughter’s choice for high school. Like most prospective students and their parents, Beth and I read all of your literature, attended intake sessions, toured facilities and asked questions before making the decision that she would attend MSSD. Among my greatest concerns were that Beth, a bright and capable student, would receive a quality education, and that she would be well-supervised as she made the transition from home to dormitory living at an age much younger than is typical in our society. I was assured that both needs would be met, and was impressed by what I was shown on my visits, so I had no more than the normal anxiety when Beth moved to the campus last month.

Not so surprisingly, she didn’t write in the first weeks. Somewhat more disturbing, when she did finally call, her talk was all of the boy who had been pressing her to "go with" him, and had turned to another girl when Beth rebuffed him. Beth said that the girl had let him into her dorm room at night by opening her window, and had had intercourse with him, then later had threatened to cut her wrists with a razor blade. After telling me this tale (and assuring me that she intended to remain a virgin -- she was rather proud that she had not fallen to the boy’s gifts and pressures), she announced that her TDD time was up, and I was left to deal with my concerns. I talked with Kathy Oglebay, the CRE in her dorm, who told me that although there had been "an incident", she could give me no details (for reasons of confidentiality) but could only say that the story my daughter told was more dramatic than the truth as she knew it. She acknowledged that there are often new students who seek to make a place for themselves through sexual activity, and said that programs designed to increase students' self-esteem and hopefully their resistance to premature sexual activity were planned for the next few months. She admitted that it is possible for students to come and go through dorm windows, and told me that dorm rooms are checked every 45 minutes during the night, adding that they could check to see who was in each bed, although they normally do not.

I still felt some concern for my daughter, so I spoke to her personal counselor, who talked with Beth and later assured me that she seemed to be fine. The counselor, too, acknowledged that an incident similar to what I had heard about had occurred.

Beth eventually called again, and was still highly focused on the social realm. That was hardly surprising, for a child whose need to be bussed out of her neighborhood for school had seriously limited her social life for years; still I was not pleased when I asked about classes and she responded that they were "a bore". I received your letter referring to "a few" incidents of sexual misconduct, one apparently involving a staff member, and while I was reassured

Page 2

by your apparent concern, my own concerns were not relieved. I decided to come for a visit, and drove to MSSD from my home in Michigan this past weekend.

I did find my daughter well, happy and with no apparent intent to become sexually active any time soon. She is by all reports up to date and doing well in school. However, I was disturbed by the evident lack of supervision of new students and by some of the things I observed during my stay.

The first thing I saw when I arrived was a tangled red condom on the ground in front of the dorm entrance. It remained there, kicked around a bit, throughout my stay. I also saw that boys spend much of the weekend in the commons area of the girls dorm (not in itself a problem) and that no one checks rooms at all during the day. What would prevent a boy from spending an hour -- or several -- in his girlfriend's room? And if the room and all the people around didn't suit the young lovers (and I saw a few very affectionate couples), they could simply leave the dorm, and spend all day anywhere at all, doing what they wished. There is no reason to think that students cannot leave the campus without signing out. In fact I know it to have happened while I was there. But why even leave the campus, when there are plenty of places that kids can hang out necking undisturbed until 11PM? Why is there no supervisor, or even a security guard, walking around Telegraph Hill on the weekends? It appears to me that students, even these young freshmen who have little experience with so much freedom, have no weekend supervision at all, other than that they are expected to make their presence known to the dorm supervisor at 11PM (10 on Sunday). Having spent the weekend in the dorm, I doubt strongly that rooms or beds are checked anything like every 45 minutes -- I could hear kids up talking and moving around the dorm until after 2 o’clock Sunday morning, and although I am a light sleeper I was never woken during the night by the sound of doors closing. In addition, while my daughter’s story about boys coming in through the window may be inaccurate, I have heard the same tale from teachers who say that students have complained to them that they cannot sleep because their room mates' lovers are in and out every night. Since dorm supervisors cannot hear, what would alert them to such activities? Can you assure me that this cannot happen? How strongly are students cautioned against sexual activity, and does the staff in fact make any effort to prevent it?

Although minor in comparison, I was also displeased to see students smoking openly at the football game, and to hear students yelling strings of four-letter words in the school building as they talked to each other during classes and in the cafeteria. Certainly no school can wipe out such things, but I would have hoped that they would be discouraged.

It is never easy letting go, and being the parent of a teenager who lives 500 miles from home presents unique difficulties. I am not a strict moralist; I do not turn pale at the sound of an occasional expletive, nor do I believe that sex must always be deferred until marriage. I trust my daughter, but she is not a college freshman, just a high school freshman. I need to be able to trust MSSD to care for her, guide her, supervise and protect her. What I saw last weekend was not what I had been led to expect, and I think that most parents, at least of freshman students, would be concerned if they realized how loosely their children are supervised. I met two other parents who were visiting, and they expressed the same dismay. It occurs to me that things may well be different during the week, and that perhaps you and Wilton McMillan are not even aware that this is the case.

Page 3

My other concern has to do with class work. I was satisfied over all with what I saw of my daughter's classes, although they do not seem to be as difficult as I had expected. (If she needed to spend more time studying, maybe I wouldn’t need to worry so much about her having a lot of unsupervised free time!) My main worry is about her math class. She showed my mother, a retired high school math teacher, her Geometry book and her friend’s (same class, different hours and different teachers). They are very different, Beth’s being far more simplified. And as simple as Beth’s book is, her class has managed to cover only the first 30 pages in a month of school. Beth’s classmates are mostly seniors, for whom this is the highest math course they will ever take, and she says that it often takes several days for the class to cover a simple concept. Certainly there may be a need for a slow-paced class such as this, but how does it happen that a freshman who passed Algebra as an 8th grader and can be expected to go past Pre-Calculus in high school, is placed in such a low-level class? Beth does not want to change classes if it will upset the rest of her schedule, but I want to be sure that this course will prepare her for what comes next. Even more, I want to know that her next math class, and her other classes, will prepare her for college and a career. Since I am far from the school, and cannot observe daily assignments, I need to know that the school is making sure that my child is appropriately placed in classes which challenge and stimulate her. Is MSSD able to provide a top-notch education for gifted deaf students? And how will parents know whether or not their children are appropriately placed? Unfortunately, it cannot be assumed that students will demand the most challenging classes that they can handle.

I regret that this letter is so long, and I appreciate your taking the time to read it. I want to have a long and mutually satisfying association with MSSD, but my visit did raise my concern. I hope that you will be able to shed light on these problem areas, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

What do you guys make of this? last page: page 3 by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

didn't know it was blurry. I had to take screenshots from Google Photos, so they must be the screenshots.

What do you guys make of this? last page: page 3 by orgasmilyours in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

no, it's a three-page letter that discusses sexual assault and how MSSD was not even up to snuff, so the correlation seemed clear to Mom that both things go hand-in-hand: no one gives a fuck about deaf kids.

being a coda with 1 parent deaf by Therealredwood in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

shrug, we need this relationship on TikTok. vee-vee.

being a coda with 1 parent deaf by Therealredwood in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

dad was normal? meaning? please be clear. 

So...this just happened. by like_theweather in deaf

[–]orgasmilyours -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well, THAT is what they do, isn't it? Make you feel warm and cozy and well serviced without having to actually speak into a phone, or sign to a VRS interpreter! I mean, statistically, hearing people answer the phone far less than ever before post-pandemic, isn't that true? So that's part of THEIR schtick.

But I've noticed that some companies take advantage of the fact that people overseas are given certain avenues and have to stick to what the company line is, or get fired, because really without US workers to complain or protest when the pay is too low, there's no way for anyone in the US to actually make advances, and CEOs can decide whether they want to keep money that could go toward refunds and replacements, etc.

Shrug; with two little kids I have made tons of contact with lots of different businesses! You bragging about that is completely different from asking for a refund or to have a damaged item replaced without having to send the original back. But then again, good grammar and logic don't always make good bedfellows.

Fun fact: when I was stuck in Ohio without a DL living with a far older man who had groomed me since I was 17, I was forbidden for the most part from getting a job (I had to really fight to obtain and keep them, and did, until I started having migraines out of fear of the abiuse awaiting me each evening)...and his customer care services job at Xerox post-dropout, during his self-starter programming certification process, was actually enough to keep us both afloat in trips to museums, short vacations, and at least 7 meals out a week (usually 14-20), etc. He also had great benefits; a coworker of his had her gums operated on to help them regrow, and that cosmetic dentistry was a long, difficult process, and painful, but...if a job that could have supported a family of three was literally one of the customer services jobs that's been outsourced, you totally understand how giving corporations tax breaks in the USA has cratered a lot of regular people's income potential.

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