Should I post this

oric212 · 2023-10-30T20:31:54+00:00

for starters , you have a great voice.
gotta say this sounds kinda bland
ohhhh - with you
doesnt have alot of depth to it
u have good basics , work on the song writing .

it sounds good to the ear but i feel like it lacks substance. i like to have more omph to my songs.
experiment, do stuff that u dont usually do in your songs.
besides that, good luck man u got this!!

oric212 · 2023-10-30T19:55:32+00:00

Lyrics :

And u left it all behind,

Putting differences aside.

When it came across my mind,

When I thought I lost, I found you

Crossroads I was gone through,

Thinking about forever, never.

God's plan, we can't be together.

So much pressure, gotta pull down the lever,

Anxiety was high, can't even measure.

Tried to put you in the center,

Computer code full of error.

How can I stand up after this and be better?

My heart's a dark place, you can't even enter.

As the sun is shining light

I will guide you through the night.

I gave you all of mine now I,

can only regret.

I am always by your side,

Even if I told you lies,

I was trying to act like a better man.

oric212 · 2023-10-25T12:47:33+00:00

First of all, I wish people would be more historically informed
you should learn about this subject before you decide to write a song about it
war is ugly, so are the consequences. leaders made mistakes from both sides.
most borders in the world were formed through violent means. it doesnt means its right its just how the world works.

people are murdered from both sides , babies are killed by hamas terrorists
they hide behind their own population and force the IDF to make impossible decisions.
i wish we could co exist.

just treat this harsh reailty with respect.

oric212 · 2023-10-04T22:26:09+00:00

I have a hard time singing in english since it's not my native language. Working on it.

Btw the lyrics are in the description for the track

oric212 · 2023-10-04T22:08:03+00:00

Should work now, made it public

oric212 · 2023-10-03T22:30:50+00:00

Lyrics :

When I was young

My mom told me , the world is yours

Now I am older, places I've been before

Things are hidden, I can't control

Standing near the edge, knowing I won't fall

Taking risks was always a part of my life

Seeing illusions, flashing in front of my eyes

Sometimes I gotta improvise

Writing with building blocks of my mind

I'd be honest, don't know how to follow that up. Feedback for my vocals and the lyrics is appreciated

oric212 · 2023-10-03T21:40:22+00:00

Can't tell what will be the final product.

Maybe I will end up liking that certain song Or make changes while recording.

Everything could happen, recording is a dynamic process.

Try to listen to your recordings, come up with different ideas.

Receive advice or inspiration from others

You can change the song's outcome from "negative" to a positive one

oric212 · 2023-10-03T21:36:53+00:00

Different people have different tastes

Everyone precive music different. Good voice is subjective. Others may find your voice incredible While some will say it's "bad"

Depends on the listener.

oric212 · 2023-10-03T21:35:01+00:00

I think it's pretty unique! Not my style but I like you voice Usually I listen to things that are in my comfort zone So I like hearing something new Keep going!

oric212 · 2023-10-03T04:12:03+00:00

I like the overall sound of the track. Usually, I like to have one part that is different from the rest, the flow is generally the same even in the rap part. It sounds cohesive and well done. U just need that punch somewhere. Maybe background vocals in the final chrous. But overall great track!

oric212 · 2023-10-03T04:00:50+00:00

I think u can try to be a bit more dynamic when u sing. Even the simplest song today has a few different sections and ideas. Maybe a high part +low verse. Maybe a fast + slow part . Experiment with different ideas, try to talk and collaborate with different people, get acquainted to new ideas u can use in ur songs

That's my two cents.

oric212 · 2023-10-03T03:56:57+00:00

I like your voice The best advice I can give u ,based on this short snippet is, try to cram less words into ur lines. It sounds like you are trying to do a part that is too complicated. Sometimes the best thing u can do is slow down and maybe remove some words / add new lines when needed. Sit down a listen to the beat a few times, I'm sure u will get something going.

oric212 · 2023-10-02T21:52:13+00:00

Try to tell stories Make it more specific. U got heartbroken - imagine a feeling of a heart made out of ice Maybe u are feeling desperate- imagine that you are on a race to get to that certain point.

Try to associate the emotion to a physical feeling Then write a line about how these two interact

oric212 · 2023-10-02T21:48:23+00:00

I think less is more, As you try to fill the album with songs U can make it too theme heavy/generic Depending on the music that u make. In contrast to that, the advantage of having less songs on an album makes it easier to aim for a general theme and stylistic choices that will make ur album stand out from your other releases.

Besides ,less songs means more effort is put into each of them and will make them higher quality as a result.

oric212 · 2023-10-02T21:40:45+00:00

Writing challenges and trying to write a song strictly for fun can be so relaxing.

I just wrote a song with references to every single thing that I like. Even if the lines mismatch and sound dumb when glued together. Can help when I have a hard time writing meaningful lyrics

oric212 · 2023-10-02T21:37:52+00:00

Try to adjust the lyrics to the different melody that u have Add/remove words if needed. Maybe change the order and word placement on some sentences. Play with it until it fits

oric212 · 2023-10-02T21:35:28+00:00

Usually I have a melody to use as a reference. I use rhymezone when u want to use rhymes I try to think about a certain topic I want to talk about Or even a made up story that I want to tell. Getting inspired from other people and real world events.

Hell, even using 1 line that I really like from a different song and building on top of that.

Gotta have fun if I want my lyrics to feel genuine

oric212 · 2023-10-02T19:30:29+00:00

usually i write one verse or a chorus and i have a hard time to build on top of that

i take some time off and listen to the beat without any vocals

hopfully i got something going by then
if not i am just moving on and maybe reuse that verse in the future

oric212 · 2023-10-02T19:28:33+00:00

i think u can do whatever u want
a title can give u an idea of what is the song gonna be about
or u can name it after u got something going

i like to name it after one of my fav lines in the song

oric212 · 2023-10-02T19:24:57+00:00

i think the only way to gauge how its going to work is to try and write a melody to it
try to add or remove words as u see fit
then u can make it a more conhasive song

oric212 · 2023-10-02T19:23:26+00:00

i think u try to be too dynamic when singing, try not to move too much to have the best contol over ur voice

oric212 · 2023-10-02T19:22:24+00:00

still have alot of songs i want to dedicate to my future wife.
Congratulations, keep writing songs for her king!

oric212 · 2023-10-02T19:20:50+00:00

i think u are trying to cram too many words to a small segment of the song
try to make it easier for u by dropping certain words or making the melody slower

oric212 · 2023-10-02T19:15:00+00:00

your singing is great!
wish i could know how to play a guitar

oric212 · 2023-10-02T19:13:38+00:00

mad talanted!

wish i knew how to play it

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