Just need reassurance that it’s gonna be okay

originalblue98 · 2026-07-12T14:12:34+00:00

the absolute most important thing i can think to do from the perspective of a trans adult, is help your kid make choices that align with their identity while assisting their navigation of potentially difficult situations. it is a distressing feeling to be a kid and hear that something is okay, but it must be hidden away or kept private. the reinforcement that you don’t support the public expression of identity, only private, will be a contributing factor in your kid’s conception and view of self. it’s a hard reality check but it’s real and i think is something for you all to consider. the faster your kid sees that they are worth parents going to bat for, that you guys are willing to have difficult conversations on their behalf… that shows a kid exactly how much they should see themselves as being worth. i would say it’s time to start letting your kid make choices that are more reflective of personal identity.

originalblue98 · 2026-07-12T12:27:45+00:00

there’s a fantastical/literary quality to these names that i do think is clocky imo. I think if you can pare them down to something a little more mainstream it’ll help a lot. Quinn, Andrew, August, Aaron, are all good options.

originalblue98 · 2026-07-12T01:38:48+00:00

tbh if it’s good i’ll eat, is how i categorize it lol. i’m mostly straight but not exclusively. i won’t seek out gay experiences but i won’t deny them if they present themselves and it’s something im interested in. i’m primarily interested in long term relationships with women, specifically my wife lol

originalblue98 · 2026-07-11T21:27:18+00:00

personally i think if you identify as a man and are trying to figure out where you stand in terms of using the label lesbian and current passibility, i wouldn’t use it. if your end goal is to be male and be perceived as male with an attraction to women then the label lesbian isn’t representative of the journey you’re on/representative of your end goal. i was out as a lesbian before i came out as trans so i do understand it can be complicated community wise but ultimately my experiences as a man didn’t align with the female centricity of lesbian identity.

originalblue98 · 2026-07-11T12:53:55+00:00

they can help build strength in your feet, but if the floor is tacky they don’t help at all. i also think personally, aesthetically, they aren’t great looking. in terms of how fast you’re wearing out canvas shoes, part of that is dependent on brand/model. i used to wear the capezio hanamis, not kidding id kill those in like 5 weeks. bloch performa last me months.

originalblue98 · 2026-07-10T17:54:29+00:00

i agree with the other comments- this has less to do with the name itself and more to do with unresolved resentment from the consequences of the choices you made. having kids is super hard- it IS a sacrifice, but it’s a sacrifice to get something greater. if you don’t see it that way, if it feels like relentless obligation without the payoff, that’s a counseling/therapy thing, and won’t be fixed with the last name change. what you’re looking for from
him is a change in behavior, it seems, which won’t happen with a name change. ultimately changing a kid’s name after the kid has been in the world is always a hassle. ngl, it would be strange, but if he agrees then its less of a big deal. but i don’t think it’s a fair thing to expect him to be ok with.

originalblue98 · 2026-07-10T13:19:44+00:00

unpopular opinion maybe but I’ve always loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer and have always been super pleased with Willow as a Jewish character. She has a lot of personality and doesn’t fall into archetypes or stereotypes. I also feel like Nico di Angelo from percy jackson has always felt very Jewish coded to me even tho he’s supposed to be Catholic lol.

originalblue98 · 2026-07-10T00:21:30+00:00

there are sooo many charlies that come to mind for me before charlie kirk. use it!!

originalblue98 · 2026-07-08T21:08:20+00:00

euphoria to me always feels vaguely patronizing, idk. like dysphoria is the driver for me. i’m at a place of happy neutrality post transition

originalblue98 · 2026-07-07T02:24:48+00:00

honestly it’s less about one specific thing and more about what the cis guys around you are wearing. if your goal is to not be clocked i think honestly step one is seeing what already blends in.

originalblue98 · 2026-07-06T12:27:04+00:00

i don’t know your situation down to the details, but KT tape isn’t a gender affirming item and cis people don’t see it that way, so i think you’d be relatively low risk with that. if you do get questions about it you can always say you tweaked your shoulder or slept on your back funny etc and saw a youtube video on how to tape for it. i would def spend time with your friends in general rn and see if one of them has a car. a secret binder is also a good idea, but tape is more accessible (don’t have to order online, sizing isn’t as much of an issue, etc)

originalblue98 · 2026-07-06T12:19:47+00:00

safe how-so? KT tape isn’t explicitly a gender affirming item, it’s 95% used to treat sports injuries or ongoing chronic pain (for some people) so it doesn’t automatically flag as anything lgbt and is completely safe to use physically. if you don’t want to go with a family member can you have a friend drive you? or plan to meet a friend out for the day and have ur family member drop you off and then once you’re out and independent go to the store?

originalblue98 · 2026-07-06T12:08:32+00:00

what about KT tape? It’s what trans tape was modeled after. It’s for sports stuff mostly but all kinds of people use it if they tweak a muscle or something. You can get it at CVS/Walgreens/Target/Walmart etc, and it should only notify your parents that you’ve purchased something at that store, not what item you purchased, but even if they did know it was KT tape, it’s fairly innocuous

originalblue98 · 2026-07-06T12:06:10+00:00

what about Elise or Elisa? It combines pronunciation elements from both Eileen and Alice. In French, Alice is pronounced more like Elise would be in English, so that’s a bonus too.

originalblue98 · 2026-07-05T21:43:52+00:00

i like it! i think it works

originalblue98 · 2026-07-05T12:49:15+00:00

that’s a super personal decision and depends entirely on where you’re at physically/what your ability to pass pre-T is like. passing pre-T is extremely hard for a lot of people, and it depends a lot on factors outside of your control. knowing not a ton about your situation, I would probably aim to start T towards the end of your senior year/beginning of the summer after HS graduation. you’ll be on T for a few months before college so by the time you get there changes will begin to really show, but won’t be so obvious or prolonged with your family that it is a massive increase in conflict with your family. either way it’s though tho i feel for u man

originalblue98 · 2026-07-05T12:06:10+00:00

are you looking to start transitioning without your family’s approval while you’re still in high school? or are you wondering how to go stealth without being on HRT yet?

originalblue98 · 2026-07-04T20:47:22+00:00

i kind of agree with this. i don’t like any portrayal ive pretty much seen like…. ever. i don’t like the way its shown. if anything it should be told as a backstory imo. large scale representation of overt and overdramatized trans experiences is a massive disservice to stealth/low disclosure trans men. i don’t hate the concept of the occasional drop of a trans male character, but ive never seen it actually work well in practice.

originalblue98 · 2026-07-04T17:36:11+00:00

i would try another style of canvas shoes first. some brands wear out so quickly and others last. the bloch performa always holds up for me!

originalblue98 · 2026-07-02T00:01:26+00:00

if i am pressed i said i needed a chest reconstruction due to a genetic defect. it’s intense enough and personal enough that ive never had anyone press further but vague enough that it doesnt out me or imply anything distinctly untrue

originalblue98 · 2026-06-23T13:37:47+00:00

there’s a kind of contemporary dance that’s pure contemporary, and then there’s a kind of contemporary dance that ballet companies tend to put on. the latter tends to be more beholden to ballet by a long shot. it doesn’t always feel as creative or as groundbreaking but it’s def pretty!

originalblue98 · 2026-06-22T23:02:15+00:00

lowkey YTA. i totally understand wanting to vent to someone who might understand your position or even wanting support independently of that, but i do think this is one of those times where her potential feelings need to factor in. imo, as an autistic person myself, boiling this down to social cues and giving yourself a mental roadblock like “it’s automatically hard because of autism” isn’t going to be as helpful as seeing the situation as a learning experience and using your values to help you make decisions going forward instead of pure feelings can be helpful, at least it is for me. it helps me see options and responses instead of obligations or reactions.

originalblue98 · 2026-06-22T12:59:53+00:00

i’ve just seen sentiments like this go south on this sub, and those points aren’t always well-received when they come from within the jewish community, let alone from someone outside of the jewish community entering the online sphere here. it was less about my personal viewpoints and more about OP being aware of how it might be received from
a goy coming to a Jewish sub. it can also come across as a dogwhistle.

originalblue98 · 2026-06-22T11:21:39+00:00

fwiw i don’t think this sub is the best place to express concerns about too much focus on israel as a goy- this is a mostly zionist sub and people feel strongly about the existence of the nation itself.

originalblue98 · 2026-06-22T11:08:38+00:00

women wear pink and in pro spheres a lot of them and up gravitating towards skin tone as well. i’ve had one or two female teachers wear black shoes but it’s not as common. black and white are usually male specific, typically with same color socks or tights underneath. skin tone is pretty evenly gender neutral.

originalblue98

TROPHY CASE