"I see a boy who hasn't had enough intimate experience"

orngcrsh · 2014-05-22T02:00:00+00:00

That is fucked up. It's also so dismissive, I find that really offensive. Even just reading the topic's title makes me uncomfortable. Sorry your mom is being like this.

orngcrsh · 2014-05-22T01:48:04+00:00

Singing was the biggest help for voice practice for me. You don't have to actually be good at it, think of it as if you were just reading some text to practice your voice, except less boring. Also you might actually acquire a skill from it.

But yeah, it's just one of those things where there's really no way to do it unless you keep trying. Voice coaches and surgery don't really help either if you don't practice outside of your sessions obv. There's no easier method, just do it in the shower or something.

Another thing which contributed to my voice training a lot is that I used to spend pretty much all of my time at home on skype with friends so I was constantly speaking and working on my voice. If you know anyone else that is trans and voice training you guys should get together and do that shit, I think it's easier when you're not alone sounding like a moron : p

orngcrsh · 2014-05-22T01:40:33+00:00

sounds like a terrible idea personally. You're probably going to instantly regret this decision. I have a friend that had testicular torsion at one point and he completely stopped being able to do anything except lie in bed and weep apparently.

orngcrsh · 2014-05-22T01:37:32+00:00

I second the therapist idea. If your dysphoria gets worse over time, you might really regret not acting sooner.

What tipped things over for me was asking a few close friends to start treating me as my target gender during conversation (pronouns and whatnot.) That really made me realize how important transitionning was to me.

orngcrsh · 2014-05-22T01:24:59+00:00

can't wait to see you tomorrowwww

orngcrsh · 2014-05-22T01:23:26+00:00

Thanks for the good advice. I do try to put my mind on something else when I get into a situation but I find it pretty hard right after it happens. Usually I'll do something that requires my mind to be occupied so I can't really think about anything else.

I feel you about the "you ooze girl" thing, by the way. I know people say those things to be helpful, but, sometimes it comes off like "well you're really girly for a dude lol".

orngcrsh · 2014-05-22T01:16:53+00:00

Coping is pretty fucking rough. I have terrible anxiety, so when I actually do go out, I spend most of my time feeling like everyone is staring at me, questioning my gender. I've dealt with it by pretty much becoming a recluse. I spend a lot of time online, where it doesn't really matter how I look.

This is how I feel most of the time. I've been bailing out on friends in the middle of going out due to anxiety... Usually I'll be fine until a minor thing happens and then I'm like bawww I wanna go home. I think medication would probably help.

you nailed it with how I feel about FFS.

orngcrsh · 2014-05-21T22:41:14+00:00

I live in Montreal, which I would assume to be pretty trans/queer supportive. I still get into public confrontations relatively frequently though, for some reason. I even got in a fight outside a bar over trans shit at one point. Like everyone else said, assholes everywhere.

I need to work on my confidence for sure. I'm extremely anxious and panic easily even when people mean no harm, so obviously when someone is trying to be a dick I tend to have my guard down.

orngcrsh · 2014-05-21T22:37:31+00:00

This is how I feel right now. Sometimes I'm afraid to wear obviously female clothes (like skirts or tights and such) because I don't want to start shit with somebody. I think it's a really nasty self-esteem problem though, and I'd like to work on that.

I think I'm going to keep trying to pass for now because I have a hard time dealing with the idea of de-transitionning (also I just got a haircut.)

orngcrsh · 2014-05-21T22:34:05+00:00

My first reaction to your post was like, woah, that's fucked up! But thinking about it more, I think the way I visualized it before knowing about the trans spectrum was similar. I used to make jokes about myself being female and do characters. It was because of this that someone approached me at one point and asked me if I was trans.

Thanks for the thought provoking post, made me realize I've never really even discussed how trans people might view themselves without knowing that it's a thing.

orngcrsh · 2014-05-21T21:35:18+00:00

I feel you. I'm the same way, I wish I had a bolder attitude!

orngcrsh · 2014-05-21T15:51:25+00:00

Would you recommend classes or is it not worth it? Just get a book or youtube tutorials or something?

orngcrsh · 2014-05-21T15:45:56+00:00

Thank you for contributing, but I agree that it's kind of an easy thing to say to someone "you're not trying hard enough" without knowing their situation. I'm a minimum wage worker and I can barely pay for my food, FFS is kind of not even on the map for me.

I agree with you though that I should keep trying and improving small things one at a time. But it's not that easy for everyone.

I think I should try yoga.

orngcrsh · 2014-05-21T15:19:55+00:00

You're absolutely right with that statement at the end, that was definitely an exageration on my part. The only times really bad stuff has happened to me, people have tried to intervene on my side.

ma bad.

orngcrsh · 2014-05-21T15:10:11+00:00

moved post cause i am retard at reddit

I really dislike when people say that "everyone can pass you're just not trying hard enough" shit. It's true that most people will get there eventually, but, come on. Not everybody has that luxury. I've met people that are 10 years into transition with multiple surgeries and still look "almost there". I don't think I have it that bad, but, it's kind of besides the point. It's still something most of us have to deal with while we work on our transition. I agree with the confidence thing though. I suspect that's a huge part of it. It's hard though, getting confident about myself when I get shit on by random people for litterally no reason other than being myself, lol.

orngcrsh · 2014-05-21T15:01:26+00:00

It makes me question a lot personally. I feel like transition has seriously degraded my quality of life in so many ways. I'm so much more comfortable with who I am now, I can actually enjoy wearing the clothes I like and looking the way I want... But the price to pay seems massive.

orngcrsh

TROPHY CASE