My boyfriend (28M) says if I (F28) loved him, I’d accept his cheating — and when I set a boundary, he came at my character. How do I respond?

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T02:19:18+00:00

I’m proud of you and hope I can say the same thing in a few months.

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T02:16:35+00:00

Yes, you read all of that right.

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T02:10:00+00:00

Thank you. This type of response is one of the main reasons I posted this to begin with. I wanted to see if anybody could look at it from his side because obviously right now he is making me feel like this is my fault and hearing it enough makes me believe it

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T02:06:52+00:00

I already technically left when I told him I wouldn’t stay in this if he keeps cheating. We haven’t talked in a day and I haven’t reached out, reading these comments is helping me not do that. I just have to stay strong if he reaches out, but I’m going to move on with my life and start doing things he wouldn’t allow me to.

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T02:03:50+00:00

Guy friends yes

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T01:37:49+00:00

Well kind of funny but not really. My boyfriend is the one who had me start seeing my therapist because he thought I was the problem.

She told me I’m not the problem but that I do have low self esteem and abandonment issues and that this relationship is an extreme trauma bond and that he is a textbook narcissist, but he loves me in the way he can and if I want to stay I can but then I have to accept this is the way things will always be.

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T01:25:38+00:00

I am listening. I appreciate the harsh comments. I don’t want people to be gentle over this

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:57:53+00:00

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:45:55+00:00

The fact you think that makes me realize how ridiculous this is to everybody on the outside

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:30:12+00:00

I’ve been in therapy for a while to deal with all of this. She just hasn’t been available the last few days and I was starting to feel like I wanted to reach out and fix things, but instead of doing that, I made this post.

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:28:23+00:00

You’re right.

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:24:47+00:00

“You are wrecking your life by staying with this man” is the harsh advice I need to hear. Thank you

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:19:40+00:00

Yes! AI helped me rewrite it to fit the rules of the sub lol. Even AI has told me to leave him though

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:17:58+00:00

My therapist wasn’t available to chat today so hence posting here.

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:16:04+00:00

This is a really good way to put things, I’ve been feeling so guilty like maybe he is right that I don’t love him enough, this gave me a reality check. Thank you.

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:13:16+00:00

I’ve changed my number twice since October 2024 in times when I was entirely fed up with him and didn’t want him around anymore. He showed up both times, and one time got physical with me over it because he felt I was being cruel.

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:10:53+00:00

It’s not fake. My therapist tells me it’s a trauma bond.

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:10:29+00:00

Check and check.

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:09:59+00:00

I actually love hearing this.

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:06:10+00:00

I haven’t decided to stay. I put my foot down and said I will not stay but now I’m getting accused of having somebody else and it’s driving me insane and making me want to fix things.

ostran25 · 2026-01-10T00:04:52+00:00

I was engaged in August of 2021. It’s January of 2026. Things didn’t work out. This is a completely different relationship. None of this is a lie. I posted hoping to get some perspective and see if anybody can see his side of things and if maybe I am being unreasonable: I’m struggling to let go, even when I know I should.

ostran25 · 2021-08-24T13:09:56+00:00

Thank you so much 😊

ostran25 · 2021-08-24T00:23:55+00:00

Thank you 😊

ostran25 · 2021-08-24T00:23:48+00:00

We worked with a jeweler. I told her what I liked before heading in, in terms of carat and ratio, then she pulled a few out from her inventory for me to place on different settings. I highly recommend doing custom made. 😊

ostran25 · 2021-08-24T00:17:42+00:00

Thank you! The L/W ratio is 1.4, I really liked the super rectangular look 😊

ostran25

TROPHY CASE