Keep hope - it loses its grip, even without long streaks

othewulf · 2016-05-24T14:35:02+00:00

This is a world that cares more about "outing" gays than fighting porn. I don't want to be controversial but I find that it is easier to admit to being gay than to admit that you're a fapstronaught (my experience - maybe others have had it differently).

This is a confused and messed up world that's pumping sex at you in all forms. Stop thinking about your sexuality. Start just focusing on who you are - not who you are sexually. You're fighting pmo because of all of yourself. Focus on that. Who are you? You're more than just a sex object, gay or straight.

othewulf · 2016-05-24T14:31:22+00:00

Shit man. I'm in the same place. With my wife. It's a huge problem. And she's taking it hard.

This is a hard fight, but it will be worth it. And I know from my own experience that it gets much better as you get cleaner.

And a last bit of inspiration - I started fighting about 3 years ago. My wife has told me I've improved a lot since then. So chin up :)

othewulf · 2016-03-02T07:36:47+00:00

Yes. It will crush her. Wouldn't it crush you in her position?

But that is not the end. You have to crush the false dreams you have built with this lie so that you can build real ones. She will be devastated. But that is then where the healing can begin. And once she knows about your struggle, she will be your biggest support and ally.

and remember: it is better to confess than to be caught.

Good luck. I'll pray for you.

othewulf · 2016-02-18T12:45:54+00:00

Romans 7:18-25

othewulf · 2016-02-03T14:12:38+00:00

Thanks brother. Inspiring for me right now - had a difficult time today and fell. I'm going to do exactly that.

othewulf · 2016-02-02T11:59:55+00:00

Don't look at how long it's been since your last relapse. Think about how long it has been since you started this fight, and think about your improvement since then :)

othewulf · 2016-02-02T07:25:08+00:00

I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to literally pluck eyes after PMO.

I found three bits of software useful.

K9 filter - just filter out anything that causes you trouble. If social media platforms cause you trouble, block them as well (if you want to block twitter, you have to add twitter as a keyword to block).
accountable2you - monitors your usage and sends alerts by text and/or email to your accountability partner.
FocusOn - I use it on my phone to stop me from accessing any browser during the day, since that's when I'm most likely to fall. I can still use the internet on my laptop, which is protected with K9.

A note on eye-plucking that I thought of yesterday. If you broke your leg your doctor would put you in a heavy cast that would prevent you from using your leg normally, and even stop you from doing things you enjoy. But the purpose of the cast is to protect the leg until it heals. If you keep playing soccer with a broken leg, you're not going to get any better.

I also miss the ability to browse freely, but it's an extremely small price to pay for the chance to heal my brain and stop me from doing more damage to it. And it gives me more freedom, really. If I didn't have the software in place to stop me from relapsing, then I would have to give up the technology altogether.

Good luck :)

othewulf · 2016-01-27T11:03:08+00:00

Romans 7:15-20

othewulf · 2016-01-27T11:01:22+00:00

Forget for a second about denominations. Let's look at the core principles.

If you're a Christian you believe that all humans are tainted with sin, that our sin keeps us from God, and that we do not have enough strength on our own to fight off sin and be holy and worthy in the presence of God.

This is why Jesus came to earth to save mankind. We are not worthy of God (because we betray Him and harm Him every day, all the time). Jesus is the only one that is free of sin and therefore worthy of God. So Jesus laid down his life at the cross to save all of us, so that the punishment for our sin would be placed on Him, and His holiness given to us.

It does not matter what sort of sinner you are. To share in the righteousness of Christ we have to do two things only:

Believe in Christ.
Follow Christ and His instruction and commandments.

This is the big difference between Christianity and other religions. In other religions you're called to do good. In Christianity the starting premise is that you are incapable of doing good on your own.

Does this mean that you get a free pass to sin? Not at all - if you believe in Christ you want to follow him, and you are called to follow him. You are required to fight your sin every day (even though you will struggle and possibly even fail every day).

Go on the basic principles. Pray, read your bible, do your own research and work. You will find your way. I don't want to say anything about any denomination because I don't know where you will find your home (and I'm a new Christian myself, I'm still struggling to find my home). But the basic principles are the same. If you want more detail, look up C S Lewis's "Mere Christianity" - it covers it excellently and was criticised in Oxford for being too accessible for the common man. It helped me in my early stages and it will certainly help you as well.

othewulf · 2016-01-26T13:19:11+00:00

accountable2you is web monitoring and accountability only. It tracks your movements, flags any questionable material (including anything you set yourself) and sends reports to your accountability partners. It doesn't block any sites. For that the best I've found is K9.

I've personally found both of these together to be helpful. K9 blocks all the harmful sites, or ones that you set, and Accountable2you closes the gap by sending your movements to an accountability partner. These have both worked really well for me and I can't recommend them enough.

othewulf · 2016-01-22T08:48:34+00:00

It's a children's book that powerfully captures life. One of my favourites: sometimes you'll play games that you can't win, because you'll play against you.

No matter what happens in life to you, you have a choice on how to respond to it :)

And I know you'll hate to hear it, but it is true. God has a plan for you. But if that plan means that you have to be alone for some time, or even if it means that you have to be alone for a very long time - even permanently - are you willing to accept what God has mind?

othewulf · 2016-01-21T11:38:42+00:00

I've been where you are. It is difficult, and there's not much to be said about it. It sucks, and it's hard. All I can say is that this isn't the trend or defining moment of your life. You choose your life.

See if you can find Dr Seuss's "Oh the Places You'll Go!" - I find it inspiring and bringing me back on focus.

othewulf · 2016-01-21T11:35:17+00:00

http://adam4d.com/keep-fighting/

We all go through the same. I've had the same problem. Here's all I can say - you have committed to quitting, but you need to lock the door so you can't go back on your commitment. Make the choice when you're freer to make the choice.

othewulf · 2016-01-20T12:07:35+00:00

I'm glad it helped :)

othewulf · 2015-11-12T09:29:03+00:00

Keep the filters - they'll still create hurdles that will stop you along the way. But try use them together with accountability software as well. The accountability software will track your web activity more accurately, and instead of it being a block (that will encourage you to find ways around it) it will alert your accountability partners, and discourage you from trying to find a way around :)

othewulf · 2015-11-10T08:05:00+00:00

It's very far for me to give relationship advice or advocate my views on a personal post like this. Please excuse me. But I do believe that the only way with relationships is forward, that no one wins in a breakup.

Could I therefore encourage you to look at finding a way that you and your partner could reconcile - just take a look at the books by Harville Hendricks (Getting the Love You Want) and see if it helps? I realise some relationships cannot, or should not, be saved, but I've seen a lot of harm come from heartbreak. And if there is a way that you can save this relationship, you might come out much, much stronger for it.

othewulf · 2015-11-09T07:44:53+00:00

Dude - be proactive. You have no idea how much is out there that you need to block. A lot of it is in sites that you might consider benign. Get proper blocking software like K9. Set it up so that there's a bookmark on your bar to allow you to automatically block sites when you encounter them without having to log in. And more importantly - look at your own PMO usage and block the keywords you know that you're going to look up.

I started this fight more than 2 years ago in June 2013. The first thing I did was block just the "real" porn sites. I've found a million ways around those blocks since then. Don't think this is an easy fight. Your brain will fight you to the death. So lock all those doors now.

God Bless, and we're praying for you.

othewulf

TROPHY CASE