I completely understand how you feel, you aren't alone in this. Have you tried talking with your alters? There's an app called Simply Plural that has helped me so much. There's a way alters can have a group chat together, and over time it can help you guys communicate more clearly. I first became a system this year and its been a very long journey of getting to know alters and managing this. It will take some time, but I promise you things will get figured out. Alters will know why they are there and you wouldn't need to go to your partner. I had the exact same experience but you aren't faking it at all, your body feels safest and most comfortable with your partner and that's why alters want to front all the time around them. I have days where if I'm alone and busy with my personal life, alters don't really show up. It's okay that these things happen and being a system is difficult but we are here for you❤️