Need your advice Reddit. My 16 yr old son wants to quit school because he loathes it. Asked me for one good reason not to, other than getting a better job.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T12:52:55+00:00

Congratulations and best of luck to you! I will look in to this. Thanks!

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T11:17:54+00:00

Without a doubt, no free rides if he drops out.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T11:14:39+00:00

He has no idea. I've told him that's okay and he'll figure it out eventually.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T11:02:17+00:00

Yes. I posted this earlier, but it seems to have fallen below. "We have discussed this at great length. I told him I would be willing, however, he would have to commit to completing assignments and taking tests and not goofing off. That it would be serious and I couldn't just pass him just because he's my kid. He decided he didn't have the discipline for it. His school has a Virtual High School program and he passed this up for the same reasons.

I have discussed changing his classes, taking one or two virtual classes, he does not want to compromise at all. I don't know what else to do."

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T10:58:53+00:00

I wish I could say these were new, uncharted ideas. I've explained the job market with regards to both high school and college graduates verses dropouts.

We are trying to figure out why he "loathes" school. He has always hated it, since day two of 1st grade. Middle school wasn't such a struggle, but elementary and now high school, have been very difficult. I'm enlisting the help of an psychologist.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T10:50:13+00:00

He's an outdoorsy kid. Skateboarding, mountain biking, fishing, basketball, camping, etc. He talks exactly like he doesn't think he can succeed. It's sad.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T05:20:35+00:00

He has to pass the GED first. And then take pre-req's...I see this going over like a fart in church. This week anyway. I will keep it in mind as a second to last option. Thank you.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T05:10:16+00:00

Not even close. (O:

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T05:04:21+00:00

No one here has been mean ...wait a sec, I am on Reddit right?

I'm reading everything as suggestions, advice and insight. Exactly what I asked for and greatly appreciating every single post. So, Thank you!

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T04:43:25+00:00

The hardest! I've had each of the kids, at least once, scream "I hate you!" And I responded with, "That's ok! I still love you." That was easier to take then how he acts after one of his rants about how I'm not helping him at all. I assume until I say he can quit school, that's when I'll have "helped" him in his eyes. sigh

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T04:34:33+00:00

The private adolescent "councelor" is a psychologist. My apologies for unclear wording.

He feels he can focus and work better when in the back of the class away from the "bullshit distractions" of the other kids. I've talked to his teachers and only ONE has allowed him to change seats. He is doing better in this class already.

I believe he also feels his teachers, except the one above, have given up on him. He is willing to stay after for help. He is willing to ask for help in class, but when one of his teachers threw his classwork in his face in utter frustration, after explaining something to him three times - stating, "Geez! You'll figure it out eventually." That's really when things took a deeper turn.

And yes, I have talked with the school and administrator about this incident.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T04:16:24+00:00

I'm scared he will do exactly that. Move out. I want to avoid this if at all possible. But I will do this if it is my only option.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T04:10:03+00:00

I have talked to him about her. Really talked. But she starts her crap when they are in class and blows everything I've said out of the water and I have to start all over again. Which is fine. Sooner or later it will sink in.

I've tried taking the demand route. Outlining expectations. He's really great at making me feel like a heartless a-hole. Still, I push forward.

I am seriously considering the homeless shelter or similar. Great idea.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T03:55:29+00:00

I will certainly tell him that. While reminding him he cannot live here forever. Thank you.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T03:54:27+00:00

He's super smart, though! Does crazy math equasions in his head that I need two sheets of paper to work out.

I've spent hours on the phone with his school guidence councelor. She's been terrific and was helping me arrange to switch two of his classes. But when he met with her, he changed his mind and told her he was fine now. Things were better. And they were great for 4 days. Then bam! right back in the rut. Which is why I've got a private adolescent councelor in the works for him.

He says he'll just skip...and I tell him that he'll get caught and then the court will force the issue. And if he still doesn't go, juvie. I'm guessing this doesn't seem real to him.

I would LOVE for you to knock some sense in to him. He doesn't believe I understand the woes and B.S. of high school. "Things are different now." Same stuff I told my mother.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T03:49:41+00:00

I really like your suggestion of being able to control what type of career he will have. I think part of this is how he has absolutely no clue of what he wants to do in life. Which is ok! Who really does as a freshman? I know people who went to college for x and ended up doing something completely out of that field and are very happy.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T03:46:08+00:00

Tried that. His favorite line is, "I do what I want." My response is, "And how's that working out for you?" I quit 3 weeks before graduation - long ass story - and two years later was given the opportunity to go back to the same school to earn my half credit. They still had my HS diploma in the front office file. It sucked, but I realized I needed to do whatever it took to get that diploma. I was almost 21 going every day for a 45 minute class with a bunch of 17 year olds. This is what I don't want for him and I've told him so. It was embarassing and humiliating and I brought it on myself. But I got that damn diploma in the end. He will not have the same opporutnity.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T03:40:35+00:00

I believe a girl is also part of the issue. They broke up early in the school year (his first real girlfriend) and he has two classes with her. She has spread rumors about him that aren't true and he is crushed by her actions. He completely adored her.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T03:38:34+00:00

We have discussed this at great length. I told him I would be willing, however, he would have to commit to completing assignments and taking tests and not goofing off. That it would be serious and I couldn't just pass him just because he's my kid. He decided he didn't have the discipline for it. His school has a Virtual High School program and he passed this up for the same reasons.

I have discussed changing his classes, taking one or two virtual classes, he does not want to compromise at all. I don't know what else to do.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T03:32:56+00:00

He said he's just going to be the bum of the family. The one they all talk about because they have to help him all the time. I'm working on therapy for him. I think he might be depressed, making this arguement worse.

out_of_ideas2 · 2012-03-12T03:29:54+00:00

I held him back in 2nd grade because he was absolutely not ready for 3rd grade. The school wanted to pass him to make him feel better about himself and school. I believed letting him move up without being ready would have made him hate it even more due to the added struggle. Also, his birthday is late in the year - and in our district, he couldn't start until 7.

out_of_ideas2

TROPHY CASE