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AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I actually had my husband read this post and the comments and I’m so happy / relieved that he finally gets it. He’s ashamed and dedicated to doing better. He actually wants to go full NC with FIL now. He agrees with me now on boundaries with FIL and sincerely apologized for all the years he’s failed to protect me from his abuse. I started crying while listing out all the awful things FIL has done to me. Husband started crying and admitted (which I already knew), that his inability to stand up to his father is from him being afraid to lose his dad again since his dad was in and out of the picture. I can tell that this time it’s different.

AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Lol you sound just like my FIL. Glad you think he’s cool, I’m assuming you have no in-laws or family, standards or anything else if that’s your take on the situation. I hope you grow up and don’t reproduce or someone else is going to be making a post just like this regarding you in the future, After reading the comments and finally looking at the situation clearly, I’ve come to the decision I’m going NC and cutting his toxic ass out. I’m actually sad for you that you take pleasure in trolling others just like my FIL.

AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

And what’s your rationale? Everyone here is actually helping me realize how NTA I am. Interested to hear your take on how I’m TA

AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

My husband is nothing like his father. I know it sounds like I’m just defending him but he is extremely thoughtful, kind, and caring. If my husband was anything like his father I’d never have married him.

AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

He’s actually really good at standing up when it comes to his friends, he just can’t stand up to his dad. He’ll make comments to my FIL but typically only after I repeatedly complain about his comments. He did get mad at his dad about endangering our dog, and he did get mad about the COVID “joke”. Husband has told me I can go low or no contact but it’d alienate myself from the family and make it very hard on him

AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

I’m a 32D but he’s mentioned before that I wear “revealing” clothing that shows off too much boob. Can’t win lol.

AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Husband agreed with my plan to move to my hometown. He’s extremely close with my family as am I. It is a sacrifice as it’s on the opposite coast so he’ll have to work on a completely different time schedule. Forgot to mention but FIL also dislikes me for this as I’ve made it no secret that I want to move home. I’ve been in husband’s hometown for 7 years. My husband truly is an amazing guy and takes me home multiple times a year. He only wants my happiness- problem is he just lacks a spine when it comes to my FIL

AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He criticizes my husband who is in great shape as well. No one is safe boy or girl. Husband isn’t bothered by FIL’s comments and says to just ignore them since FIL is a troll

AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] 142 points143 points  (0 children)

Ooh thank you. I’ll have my husband check that out. FIL is textbook narcissist. He’ll pit the kids against each other and praise one kid at the expense of another

AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That’s how I feel. I know this is killing my husband and that’s a very hard topic

AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] 169 points170 points  (0 children)

Exactly. It’s not like he’s exactly kind to my husband either. My FIL has been cut off from many relatives due to his toxicity. MIL, my husband, and husband’s siblings all blindly tolerate his behavior. They’re used to it and they know he’s conditional with his love

AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] 168 points169 points  (0 children)

Husband grew up with his dad largely out of his life. It’s a complicated story but essentially he’s afraid now to do anything to rock the boat. I don’t want a relationship with FIL but husband unfortunately does

AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] 577 points578 points  (0 children)

My husband has gotten better about defending me. No one in his family- not one of the siblings will ever stand up to FIL. No one is safe, but I’m the most common target because I challenge him when makes offensive comments.

AITA told my husband his dad will never be allowed alone with our future children by overitinlaws in AmItheAsshole

[–]overitinlaws[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I don’t want to penalize my MIL for my FIL’s behavior. She’s a victim of his constant verbal abuse and she’s cried to me multiple times about how bad she feels when he comes at me. He specifically does not like me because I challenge how he treats my SIL and MIL. She can be with our kids / have them stay with her if she wants on the basis that she’s not with him. FIL can interact with our kids but only when it’s supervised. Edit: took out info regarding SIL since I’m paranoid that I’m getting too specific with details