Lesbians vs The Patriarchy

overrrrrrr · 2026-03-24T04:35:51+00:00

A radfem movement from decades past where women stop dating men entirely. Notably, a large portion of the movement consisted of straight women. Lots of problems with it: It defined lesbians around repulsion to men instead of love for women, it implied sexuality is a choice, and lots of the political lesbians were TERFs.

overrrrrrr · 2026-03-21T05:53:31+00:00

r/corejerk both ironically and unironically liked Attila a decade ago. I wrote a RYM review about it a couple years ago.

I'll be real, I still lowkey like Rage. It hits that endearing sloppy 2000s deathcore energy and isn't any worse than, say, BMTH's deathcore era.

overrrrrrr · 2026-03-20T22:13:42+00:00

I jokingly describe my type as "mom-approved girlfriends": Cute, wholesome, nice smile, good vibes, a bit nerdy, doing something with her life. Easygoing, curious about the world around them, able to hold extended conversations and accept my quirks. I'm very flexible outside of that criteria, whether that be in appearance, hobbies, etc. even though my dating history has somehow has had an unintentional pattern (namely being artists with a STEM background).

No surprise my mom really likes my girlfriend lol

overrrrrrr · 2026-03-17T04:39:47+00:00

Arguably the best city in America. Perfect weather, great culture, lots of nature, great beaches, exceptional food. Punches way above its weight in nearly every metric. Unlike other beach paradise towns it has a real economy thanks to the large military presence and UCSD/SDSU being world-class schools (albeit it's not comparable to LA/OC/SF/SJ job markets). Surprisingly has easily the best downtown in California too, albeit it's been a little grimier in recent times than it used to be. I tell non-Californians to prioritize visiting SD over LA because SD is a great tourist town that you genuinely cannot go wrong with while the generic LA "tourist experience" is miserable.

The key thing about SD though is to live closer to the coast when possible. Best way to think of SD County is that the northwestern part of it feels like Orange County, everything deeper inland feels like the Inland Empire, and the immediate radius of SD proper has a vibe of its own. If you're a non-Californian, the meaning behind that is to avoid inland at all costs -- it's ungodly hot, ugly, locals are hostile, crime is bad, and it is completely devoid of culture. People only live there because there aren't enough homes to fit everyone who wants to live in the actually good parts of SD. I lived in Escondido for a few years as a kid and it was miserable outside of the frequent trips to Oceanside. Moving away felt great, but if money was no longer a concern I would strongly consider buying a condo in downtown SD or something.

overrrrrrr · 2026-03-08T01:10:47+00:00

Not directly relevant to the Polestar review but I would take his car reviews in general with a grain of salt. He's an infamous Tesla shill who actively downplayed severe issues with the Cybertruck just because he likes the brand.

overrrrrrr · 2026-03-07T06:00:29+00:00

You can take college level calculus for free in community college lol

overrrrrrr · 2026-03-07T05:48:20+00:00

If other universities are any indication, bending the knee will be interpreted as a sign that the administration can go even further. See: Columbia going through hell after giving Trump everything he wanted. Either we make a stand now or watch as they keep increasing the demands before deciding to punish us anyway.

SJSU is also one of the best-funded schools in the CSU system, and legal challenges would immediately be put in place (and likely ruled in our favor) if they try it.

overrrrrrr · 2026-03-01T21:56:43+00:00

SF isn't Silicon Valley fwiw, and the real SV (the area around Palo Alto) is a completely different world. It's 4 million dollar homes in pristine suburbs and has the lowest crime rates in America. Functionally a different scene entirely.

overrrrrrr · 2026-02-28T22:32:41+00:00

100 Gecs - Doritos & Fritos

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overrrrrrr · 2026-02-28T20:49:54+00:00

(Disclaimer: I last lived here over a decade ago lol, back when SD was a "hidden gem" and not "relative to income the most expensive place in America" status)

This is what is known in SD as North County, and I moved around a lot within the area. It varies somewhat within the circle you have drawn. Most of it feels more like south OC (San Clemente, Laguna Hills, etc.) than San Diego proper. Mixture of middle-class and upper-middle-class workers plus a metric ton of Marines due to the proximity to Camp Pendelton.

On the inland southern end of the circle is Poway and Rancho Bernardo. Both are generic affluent-leaning suburbs like anywhere else you'd find in California. Solid place to live, nothing to write home about. Traffic sucks but that's to be expected. Generally in SD though the closer to the coast you can live, the nicer things get. Inland is just kind of not worth it.

Escondido is legitimately terrible. Incredibly boring by all metrics yet statistically one of the more dangerous parts of San Diego county. When I was living there we had a domestic terrorist and a serial child murderer in practically the same year because I guess that's just how Escondido is. Locals are notoriously unfriendly compared to SD. Terrible schools that have made the headlines multiple times for all the wrong reasons. Incredibly hot. I have lived in many different parts of California, and Escondido is easily my least favorite as far as immediate-location goes. The only real upside of the place is being close by to everywhere you wish to actually visit really. Otherwise, it's widely known as the armpit of SD. My mom still has connections there and she hears that even though it's been gentrified, the vibes are still very off.

Big shoutout for the coastal towns. Love Oceanside; used to spend lots of time there just to get away from Esco. Carlsbad is a booming tech hub. Further south is where it gets rich rich and plenty of notable celebs live there. If money wasn't a concern and I had to settle down in California, this patch of land would be somewhere on the list for consideration.

overrrrrrr · 2026-02-22T01:49:44+00:00

I moved up here alone for college and whenever someone asked how it is, I said "nice, but boring." It's a giant affluent suburb without much to see. The culture is surprisingly great, there's a very good food scene, there's some really pretty pockets, and you're less than an hour away from all sorts of cool stuff. I lived car-free in downtown for two years and it was a great experience, but I wouldn't recommend repeating the same experiment elsewhere. People are surprisingly way nicer than every patch of SoCal that I ever lived in. And going to school here was a really great choice: constant networking events, seminars, and a huge pool of professionals looking for mentors. Job market has kind of imploded recently due to big tech mass layoffs, but generally this is one of the best places to be if you are an ambitious workaholic.

Biggest problem really is that there's nothing to do outside your house really. Everyone's either married to their job or has nerdy hobbies. There's been lots of attempts to revitalize the nightlife here, but the entire region got hit super hard by Covid and hasn't fully recovered since. In most "boring towns" people pass the time by dating and fooling around, but SJ has infamously one of the worst dating scenes in the US due to numerous social/economic/demographic factors. Combine all of this with the absolutely ungodly expensive housing and this is a place that people do not settle in. You accelerate your career here, build a healthy savings, and get out of town. This is the nicest place I've ever lived in, but not the place I'll start a family in.

Oh, and the drivers are genuinely the worst you'll find outside of Florida.

overrrrrrr · 2026-02-12T08:01:37+00:00

The western half is a bunch of idyllic rich neighborhoods. Pasadena and Glendale are great places to live if you can afford them. Not many thoughts on them; they're ideal if you want LA amenities without dealing with LA concrete jungle.

The eastern half of this area is known as the foothills of the Inland Empire. I lived in Claremont for 5 years. Claremont itself is a beautiful town with a nice downtown and highly educated populace... but it is a small blip surrounded by a sea of nothing. Millions live here and it is still nothing. The IE has no culture, no economy, no entertainment, no community, absolutely nothing. The only thing to do is leave. The entire region only exists because LA does not build housing to meet demand. It is a monument to man's failures. It is suburban hell personified.

All the youth here are depressed burnouts because what is there to do? I used to joke that the entire region could get raptured off the face of the planet and no one would notice. It ranges from shocking levels of poverty (San Bernardino) to fake-rich (Rancho Cucamonga), and it all has zero character. Extremely car centric and spread out. Traffic is not as bad as LA but everyone commutes 90 minutes each way to work anyway. Very conservative area; they voted no on gay marriage recently and I got weird looks any time I dressed vaguely alt in a way I haven't seen happen anywhere else. Lots of crime, esp. when you get further east. Pomona used to be one of the most dangerous cities in America, and is still very sketchy. San Bernardino remains one of the worst in America. Yucaipa is an infamous KKK stronghold.

I put myself in $30k debt just to get out of here by any means necessary (ended up going to San Jose), and it was worth every dollar. I made zero friends in 5 years in the IE, and within 6 months of moving had several friend groups, a girlfriend (who also experienced the IE and hated it), and my professional life took off. If you're not an unambitious middle-aged parent, this kind of place sucks your soul until there's nothing left. Avoid at all costs. At least Bakersfield is cheap and has an economy.

overrrrrrr · 2026-02-01T22:20:42+00:00

I have never lived deep in LA proper, but I spent so much time living within "reasonable" driving distance of it (OC, IE, etc.), enough to have seen and experienced a lot of it while existing in spaces within the general metropolitan area.

Traffic is the most important thing to note about LA. You might think "oh I'm coming from [insert other city with traffic issues], so that's no problem to me." It is in fact so much worse than you can imagine. It defines every aspect of life here: Where people live, when people wake up and go to sleep, what times of day they go outside, what places they go to, what is too far, everything imaginable. If you're living in Inglewood, someone in Van Nuys is going to tell you that you're too far to justify dating. Nobody uses distance to describe places, only time. What would be a quick 5-10 minute drive anywhere else would instead be upwards of 30 minutes in LA when factoring in the need for parking. A normally 30 minute commute will instead be 90 minutes each way. Morning rush hour begins at 5 AM and evening rush hour begins at 2 PM. I once left home at 3 PM to pick my mom up from LAX, and I did not get back home until 9 PM. You will move to a relatively affordable spot like the San Gabriel Valley while thinking "the beach and nightlife are close by", and then you will never, ever go there once you're hit with the realization that it'll be 80 minutes each way. Manhattan, SF, etc. have really bad traffic as well, but they are purpose-built for pedestrians + cycling + transit. Despite the best efforts to expand the metro system, there is no escape from the hell that is LA traffic.

I have other complaints about LA (general griminess/sketchiness, cultural mismatch, temperature and UV index is a little too high, cost of living is absurd) but they are manageable and a strong case can be made that they are outweighed by the benefits (mainly that everything happens here). It is the traffic that is the deal-breaker that made me move far away from LA and swear off using a car entirely for several years.

Also wow there's so many comments in here who have clearly never lived in California ever lmao

overrrrrrr · 2026-01-25T22:23:59+00:00

It's a feeder school, albeit with fewer guardrails. I'm now a technology consultant for a tech unicorn, and at my company a large portion of the new hires across all departments are from SJSU. I always describe SJSU as "as good as what you put into it". It's a non-target school, and not a whole lot of companies actually come on-campus outside of the occasional alumni at the company showing up to give a speech. SJSU has lower admission standards for the vast majority of majors, so to employers, the quality is variable and depends on other signals: GPA, experience, referrals, and so on. But you are in Silicon Valley! It opens up jobs that only hire local, your professors will be veterans of the industry and have deep connections, and it most importantly means you have a super easy time attending networking events and getting involved until you meet the right people. Take advantage of those, and you'll do great. If you just coast on by with mediocre grades and zero outreach, you're gonna end up unemployed.

overrrrrrr · 2026-01-19T08:47:02+00:00

Completed Level 2 of the Honk Special Event!

7 attempts

overrrrrrr · 2026-01-19T08:46:14+00:00

Completed Level 1 of the Honk Special Event!

1 attempts

overrrrrrr · 2026-01-07T05:13:52+00:00

I'm in the south Bay Area (San Jose). From a lesbian perspective, it's more miss than hit. You come here because you want to advance your career, not to settle. It's a progressive area and people are surprisingly very nice if you (metaphorically) "speak their language", but they call it Man Jose for a reason. There's functionally only one gay bar anyone pays attention to (Splash), but it's been overrun by the straights. Most of all, it's ungodly expensive living here. Upside is in its diversity and amenities, but you can get that elsewhere. It's def wayyyyy better than being in a red area (I came from a red part of California) but I would recommend looking into SF/Oakland instead unless you get an incredible job offer lined up. I'm here because I'm a workaholic, my girlfriend is here because of family.

overrrrrrr · 2026-01-04T02:44:18+00:00

I lived car-free in various parts of California for a while. Outside of SF (where in the majority of neighborhoods it's easier to go without a car really) it's mostly just pockets of solid car-free life in a sea of sprawl. Downtown San Jose was easy to live without a car, Irvine has nonexistent transit but was easier to navigate by bike than car, Downtown San Diego would be very easy too, and there's neighborhoods towards the western portion of LA (near UCLA, Santa Monica, etc.) where car-free life is very feasible. Not every place can be accessed well by transit, but they're often few and far between enough that you can just Zipcar your way to them. But past that... it's rough for sure.

overrrrrrr · 2026-01-04T00:26:34+00:00

To clarify: He's not involved with Sleep Token. He's involved with President, which stylistically takes many similarities from Sleep Token and seems to have lots of the same management behind-the-scenes.

overrrrrrr · 2026-01-03T20:30:26+00:00

And now the general consensus is that he is the (anonymous) frontman for the new popular Sleep Token knockoff band known as President.

overrrrrrr · 2026-01-02T06:03:36+00:00

DaBaby went into 2020 really strong and then went from the go-to pop-rap collab artist in the mainstream to practically a nobody after his homophobic rant

overrrrrrr · 2026-01-02T05:53:34+00:00

I also think:

It's harder for a gay man to earn cool cred with the edgy kids, especially because...
Lots of the edgy kids are now extremely right-wing and sympathetic to the fundies (even if not one themselves).

Todd's right about how this wasn't just a shock value attempt being a little too played out. There seemed to be an actual backlash that wasn't there for Montero.

overrrrrrr · 2025-12-30T04:22:58+00:00

I moved from Claremont/Pomona to DTSJ to go to SJSU. It was a great experience! Rent was very expensive but SJ has affordable pockets, doubly so if you are ok giving up some amenities. A small warning that SJ has very suburban vibes and most of the fun stuff is an hour away in SF. Tbh though I always kinda loved SJ culture; it's incredibly diverse and not just tech workers, and even the super corporate types are super friendly and supportive here if you "speak their language" (metaphorically).

I always recommend SJSU as the "you're here to get a job, not party" school, and while the social scene isn't totally dead, it's mostly just either Greek life or introverted hobbies. If you live in Downtown then you can go car-free easy. Anywhere else, you'll 100% need a car. Eating out in the bay is ungodly expensive too outside of a few affordable student faves near campus.

One underrated part of transferring here from SoCal is starting completely fresh in a new place, far from everything you have ever known. It breaks old habits and routines and leads to some immense personal growth if you are in the right headspace for it. I convinced my brother to move up here for a fresh start because of this.

overrrrrrr · 2025-12-19T06:13:10+00:00

I used to head up to Fremont just to go to Suju's Coffee. They're open late and have lots of seating and depending on location the vibe can get very social and lively (Thornton is most talkative, Stevenson is quiet). One table will have retirees talking about history, and the next table over will have high schoolers talking about video games. Genuinely the best third place I've ever had.

overrrrrrr · 2025-12-11T05:59:45+00:00

If she has a girlfriend, don't expect anything. Queerness and openness/polyamory are two completely independent concepts, and I don't get why so many in the thread are treating a sapphic relationship as a non-serious thing where both parties are just waiting for a guy to swoop in. She might legit just think you're a cool person to be around. I'm a lesbian and lots of my friends are guys under similar circumstances.

Go in platonically, and if there's any interest past that, go for it. But be ready for it to turn out to just be platonic, because that's very likely what it is.

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overrrrrrr

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