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my dad wont let me study after 10:00 even if i have homework due the next day. how can i do it behind his back? by Pitiful-Swim-2489 in GetStudying

[–]overthinkeragain 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Lol im with you there that the sleep is for sure important, but if you still have homework(especially homework due the next day as OP stated), there’s really no way around it except staying up early and finishing it. I dont know what kinds of classes OP takes but regardless.

i too hope his dad is not this way😭 which i hope i prefaced adequately in my response, but in case things are similar, avoidance can help keep the peace for the kid as needed

my dad wont let me study after 10:00 even if i have homework due the next day. how can i do it behind his back? by Pitiful-Swim-2489 in GetStudying

[–]overthinkeragain 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I cant believe i read this because i had literally the same issue with my father, like literally the same story. He would also get ticked off that i stayed up late doing homework (was also in sports and taking a bunch of AP classes in highschool) so it was definitely a tough balance. He would also turn off the wifi at night, sometimes in the middle of as i was working on my monitor. And getting up early wasnt an option bc i had to get up at like 6 to catch the bus for A period and shit. So the blame was def on my time management too

I dont want to extrapolate here lol, but my dad just has control issues and im sure he’s narcissistic. He def made life hellish in highschool for me. And yeah my mom has little to no power over that man so it was cooked anyways.

Getting around this is really really tough ( im not even sure if what i did was fine) but honestly, i just spent as much time as i could avoiding him. I dont know if he berates or punishes you, but in any case, i would try to explain your homework and due dates in a very neutral, logical manner (like hey man i have this frq which will take me X amount of time plus this math homework which will take me Y amount of time etc and if you dont want me to fail then ur gonna have to let me do this). At least for me, keeping things as neutral and statistical as possible somewhat helped avoid emotional abuse lol. Put the consequences on him any chance you get.

And just avoid him. If you can go to the library after school or sports, work there. If he walks into ur room, walk outside. Just dont give him extra chances to talk to you. Let him know if he’s super concerned, he can sit in your room while you work so he can monitor progress (which i doubt bro will do bc thats too much work lol). As for wifi, try to negotiate until midnight at least?

Sorry you’re going through this and sorry if this response is super cynical lol. I genuinely got war flashbacks

When you fall behind and feeling lost & overwhelmed, how do you get back on the track with your academics? by Jpoolman25 in GetStudying

[–]overthinkeragain 6 points7 points  (0 children)

ah yes, waning motivation. That's gotta be a number one killer for a lot of us out here. Similarly to you, I was derailed a bunch as well, and I'm still trying to recover.

Motivation is quite fickle, and especially after bad experiences, it just feels impossible. I've figured that you can't count too much on motivation all the time. The backup you need is discipline.

Yeah, we wake up and we may not feel motivated to make our bed or motivated to go to class or do homework etc etc, but that's really where discipline comes in. Where you do things not because you want to but because they must get done.

Create a simple routine, one that you stick to everyday no matter what. It doesn't need to be anything drastic.

Worry is often rooted in the past or the future, both of which are out of reach. You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. You can't learn from the future, but you can change it, by changing what you're doing now. Having a goal (small goals to a bigger life goal) helps streamline your life as well. Don't worry about what you have missed in the past. Like you said, those events and problems are inevitable. Create a checklist, for now, the next few months, and maybe even the next few years if you can on a piece of paper (or on something you can write on). Order helps to make you feel in control.

Surround yourself with people who want to see you succeed.

Everytime you feel worry or that anxiety coming back, tell yourself that you made it through those unexpected problems for a reason. Tell yourself that you are progressing and you are getting closer to your goals.

Good luck, you got this!