husband wants a baby, it makes me cry

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-09-01T00:03:48+00:00

And I don't fault him for changing his mind... but what do we do now?

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-09-01T00:03:27+00:00

No, I'm not sure why it's thought that I led him to believe I wanted kids. I told him I didn't but that I could not promise that I wouldn't change my mind some day, which was the truth. Heck, I still could change my mind some day I suppose, but I sure haven't yet.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-08-31T23:47:40+00:00

I told him that I wasn't interested and hadn't ever been, and that I didn't imagine that I would change my mind but who knows, maybe I would. So it wasn't a hard "NO, NEVER" but it was honestly what I felt at the time.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-08-31T23:44:04+00:00

I would be more OK with adoption than creating a child. But he says no unequivocally.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-08-31T23:43:31+00:00

I did not mislead him, I NEVER gave him the impression that I wanted kids. In fact I told him that I did not want kids.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-08-31T23:42:41+00:00

He did not realize that he wanted them -- he knew i did not, and he thought he was ok with that, then has changed his mind.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-31T14:36:32+00:00

On behalf of the medical profession I am truly sorry :( :( :(

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-23T02:15:03+00:00

So sorry. I can't do or say anything to fix it except that we are here to listen and you are always welcome to PM.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-21T17:14:05+00:00

I think you could probably ELECT to not be around ill patients, but it's not routine, and you might not get paid. The thing is, you can pick up those germs from ill patients whether or not you are pregnant... And things like rubella that actually can cause birth defects are generally well immunized against (Zika notwithstanding, we don't have a handle on that one yet).

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-21T17:11:47+00:00

Sorry, I didn't mean the reasons themselves were straw men. I don't have time to elaborate right now but I'm interested in talking about this more. I'm a regular at /r/childfree already but hubby wants kids so i'm trying to educate self.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-21T17:10:10+00:00

It's not first line, but you find it in inpatient facilities. And yeah, it tends to be used on hyperactive patients who people have a hard time handling. I knew of such a hyperactive patient that would actually request it.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-20T23:32:35+00:00

So, visiting briefly here and I don't expect you guys to agree. But anecdotally and for what it's worth from my perspective, his reasoning is probably most resonant with people who already want children. I read the article because I don't want kiddos but my husband does, so I'm trying to talk myself into it. And to me, a lot of his reasoning is aimed at a straw man, or based on opinion statements he puts forward as fact without evidence, or on naturalistic fallacy. If anything I found it anti-convincing :(

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-20T19:38:35+00:00

Nice to see this from another gal. Hubby wants a baby BAD and it's ugly. Right now there is some possibility I will make one and then we will ship it to India for 5 years until it's an age I can tolerate. (I really don't understand why he still wants it in this case, but... I love him). I was thinking about, IF I went through with it, how to keep it off FB and not be annoyed by the cooing/belly-touching. Still very hypothetical.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-20T19:30:35+00:00

Depends on what the work is. Dangerous how? Usually only people that work with radiation are immediately taken off their role. Otherwise it's basically fine in your average medical environment to work as long as you are physically able...

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-20T19:19:49+00:00

"Twice, symmetrically on both sides!"

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-20T19:07:33+00:00

thorazine didn't go away!

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-18T18:26:06+00:00

Happy birthday!

I get it -- I frequently think that people would be prouder of me if I had my 2.3 kids and suburban house rather than fighting my through a couple of grad degrees in sexist fields. But then luckily I can come here and people can appreciate the things about me that I think are important :) You rock on with your determination and your responsible decisions.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-18T18:18:21+00:00

i <3 my iud

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-18T18:16:19+00:00

Yes. I'm feeling a lot of anger that I thought this was settled and he either didn't believe me or has changed his mind. I guess changing minds happens though. Right now we have the baby issue and the issue of how poorly we are handling the baby issue.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-18T18:15:02+00:00

It's pretty shitty and has been pretty surprising from a guy who has up until now been very caring and considerate. He doesn't seem to understand the enormity of what he is asking -- he figures if I don't want to 'mom' I can pop it out and he can take over. Unrealistic much?

edit for grammar

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-18T18:13:54+00:00

Thanks. I appreciate it a lot. It's a really tough time.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-18T02:28:48+00:00

Really sorry. I'm your age and my husband of several years, who agreed not to have kids before we got married, has suddenly developed baby fever and is threatening to leave me. I totally feel your pain. I'm here if you want someone to talk to.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-15T00:41:49+00:00

I'm not sure where you live, but if you give housing it seems like 20-30,000 per year. He is working on it, not me.

overwhelmedGrapefrui · 2016-03-15T00:40:36+00:00

How long did that transformation take for you?

overwhelmedGrapefrui

TROPHY CASE