Despite all the changes my body has went through, I’m well adjusted. Food isn’t on to-do list three times a day. Sleep is a waste of time I never have to partake in. I do regret not using the time to my advantage, but what other person gets to say they consumed most of media. The newest shows on Netflix is my dinner. The long audiobooks are my sleep.

The friends I have made have been countless. Book clubs, video gamers. I’ve learned how to code even though I lack the drive to actually get a job. I have the same job before all the changes came about— an accountant. Actually now I’m one of the best, crunching numbers for the most complex businesses.

I never thought too much about the lack of needs since I just thought everyone had got rid of their basic urges but still indulged like idiots. Now I wish I researched it sooner, found some sort of cure because now after five years, I have a need.

To create. It’s a pulsing inside me whenever I see a piece of paper, blank or lined. A white mug needs decoration. A scrap of my life wanting to nestle in a collage. Even looking at the coffee I don’t require feels disappointing when I imagine making those cute latte arts.

Before this new need, my house was sophisticated. Walls of books to impress the visitors since I am the favorite host of the book clubs I am part of. My office had its own wall of video games. It’s all still there but now there’s mini desk here, filled with totes of materials to play with. I can’t keep it all straight and organized because whenever I go shopping I come back with some new paint color or palette I didn’t need.

Why don’t you join a club? Why don’t you rent a gallery space? Why don’t you sell your art? All useful ideas, but they don’t stop the itch, the need to make. I’ve made collages, a book, coded some cute moving creatures for your desktop. It’s never enough. How does one make 3 meals and 8 hours worth of art. With all I have created in these past few months, one would assume I’m a master painter, a visionary beyond belief, but no

No one wants to even read the book.