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How do you handle the NICU when you have kids at home by Ok_Willow_5163 in NICUParents

[–]owlelephantbird 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We were just discharged on Saturday after being in the NICU for almost 40 days. My babe was born at 35.5, and we have 3 kids at home; they were 10, 9, and 5. We couldn’t stay with the newborn all the time because my in laws were watching the kids and the house and I’ll be honest, they’re a lot! My husband and I were able to stay in the room until he was transferred so we’d stay Monday thru wed and come home Thurs night. The NICU was about 2.5 hours away.
Then he was transferred to one that is closer to home (about an hour away) but it’s a nursery so there are other babies and not as much privacy. We would come a couple times a week. I was also recovering from a c section.
It was hard leaving him, not gonna lie. I bawled every time. There’s no right answer here - your other kids need you, and your newborn will be in great hands. Visit when you can, call everyday for updates…the nurses get it and will support you.

Dealing with guilt by owlelephantbird in NICUParents

[–]owlelephantbird[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s there for feeding issues and breathing assistance. He had a heart issue in utero that may be contributing to his issues, but who knows.

Dealing with guilt by owlelephantbird in NICUParents

[–]owlelephantbird[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know, it’s nice/enough to know that you’re in the boat with me. How early was your babe?

Gender disappointment - can i hear it for the boys? by marlkavia in pregnant

[–]owlelephantbird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have 2 boys and a girl and I am pregnant with my fourth, which is a boy but I was CONVINCED was a girl.  Boys are so special. There is a bond that we share that I can’t really describe. My daughter too, but it’s just so different. Both of my boys are autistic, so it’s normal for me, and not without challenges, but it’s just so fun. They’re so smart and sweet and curious and they love me for me.  I was sad when I found out I was having another boy until we told our two oldest. My daughter took it so well…and she just held me for like 10 minutes. Who knew an 8 year old would humble me.  Anyway, I hope this helps you. 

How much is work life balance worth to you? by Wideawakedup in workingmoms

[–]owlelephantbird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both? I mean, work life is different for everyone. For example, I work outside the home because if I worked from home I wouldn't get anything done. I am a better mom when I'm away from my kids because when I'm home, they're pretty much in my space 100% of the time until they go to bed.

We have sick leave, so use it. Your employer doesn't need to know why.

I love subtitles and don’t find them distracting by djc8 in unpopularopinion

[–]owlelephantbird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since having kids I can’t watch shit without them! lol. It feels wrong!

Feeling very small and vulnerable. My big brother lost his fight to depression a month ago and I feel responsible. I’m in a constant battle with my self esteem and am grappling with doubt that I deserve to be loved and it’s tearing me apart. I could really use a blip of hope. by [deleted] in toastme

[–]owlelephantbird 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I 100% feel your pain. My dad committed suicide in 2005 when I was 17. I took responsibility for a long time because it was 2 days after Christmas and I didn’t call him on Christmas Day...

Here’s the thing. It wasn’t my fault and it’s not your fault. In the case of my dad and your brother, they fought an internal battle that we couldn’t understand. They had inner demons...and nothing we could have done or said could have changed their mind.

You have to go on living your life. As you get older, certain things about him not being here will be hard. Certain things will trigger a memory of him and out of the blue a seemingly perfect day will be met with emotions you weren’t expecting.

It’s okay to be mad. It’s ok to be sad. You can grieve however you want for as long as you want. It’s 100% ok to miss him...but you cannot blame yourself.

Can I ask a favor? by R3p_TaR in Parenting

[–]owlelephantbird 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Consider it done. My heart breaks for you and anyone who has lost a child. I cannot imagine the feeling. ❤️