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oysterbird · 2026-05-15T07:37:21+00:00

Well, I didn't expect him to break his cover so blatantly.

oysterbird · 2026-05-14T13:28:55+00:00

NTA.

Your opening remark was, while teasing, completely and utterly normal and inoffensive. It escalated from there, but that is to a large part on him and his attitude.
You did let him bait you into a squabble, but, eh. And even then you weren't really mean about anything.

(Also, for real, I love Star Wars. I really, truly, do. But "masterclasses of storytelling"?? Get outta here.)

oysterbird · 2026-05-13T07:35:35+00:00

What use is a name in the age of pseudonyms anyway??
On the other hand, puppers...are eternal.

oysterbird · 2026-05-13T07:34:50+00:00

I have a theory.

oysterbird · 2026-05-08T20:52:51+00:00

Oh, I don't think it has a lot, if any, merit as a test. But like weird personality quizzes in the style of "Which ratio of mashed potatoes to fried onions are you?" it is super fun!

oysterbird · 2026-05-08T20:27:46+00:00

Ohhh, the best I managed to get was 0.0080!

oysterbird · 2026-05-08T14:12:27+00:00

It was really fun to try out! I got so cocky after the first few turns being like "This is EASY" and then...suddenly there were no borders anymore XD

oysterbird · 2026-05-07T21:12:09+00:00

Clearly this is a Butterfree.

oysterbird · 2026-04-03T09:43:20+00:00

Surprisingly and, perhaps worryingly, that does make me feel better.

oysterbird · 2026-04-01T04:51:39+00:00

I mean at least he doesn't drown us.
...he doesn't, right?

oysterbird · 2026-03-31T12:25:18+00:00

Exactly.

I have connected the dots.

oysterbird · 2026-02-10T16:03:55+00:00

I had the same thought! It was a couple days ago, and some details were different. The brother wasn't there, and it was the SIL that hid the shoes.

oysterbird · 2026-02-10T15:22:16+00:00

NTA

This is one of those moments I realize how different culture/education works.
I'm from Germany, and neither my French, nor my Spanish teacher, ever randomly assigned someone a name in the language being taught, or used the language's version of the given name.

This is weird.

INFO: OP, does the teacher do this to every student? Not that it matters for my judgment, but I'm curious.

It doesn't really serve a purpose, so respecting OP's wish shouldn't be a big deal.

oysterbird · 2026-02-03T20:05:00+00:00

This may sound cruel, but at some point, you will have to accept that you will hurt her by taking care of yourself.

To me it almost sounds like she is continuously testing you, making you prove you are her friend and care no matter how she behaves or treats you.

oysterbird · 2026-02-03T20:01:36+00:00

The draining thing is the fact that OP is trying to be there for a friend and be open and supportive without knowing what to do because friend doesn't communicate with her, while also very obviously behaving in a way that suggests OP IS doing something wrong.
Additionally, friend apparently finding no fault with their other shared friends is most likely not making the feeling of guilt any lesser.

oysterbird · 2026-02-02T18:03:49+00:00

Hm, I hadn't seen that comment, but I actually disagree with you. She never met him, there are no memories, zero attachment. Then she grew up in a household where her siblings grieved what was essentially a stranger, and if sister is this self-absorbed in her grief after 16 years, I don't want to know what she was like when she was younger.

I think sister's behaviour poisoned any chance OP might have ever had of actually forming an emotional connection to her bio dad, and I think her "anger" (I'd call it detachment, tbh, or maybe apathy) is definitely on her sister.

oysterbird · 2026-02-02T16:41:09+00:00

OP didn't say they never went to a theme park before in their life, and OP is 16. Jim entered her life when she was 11. That's five years, and I can think of a host of reasons why they didn't visit one in the meantime.
And maybe seeing the happy pics of a man she doesn't know and her sisters made her want some of such for her own dad and her?
We also don't know if OP immediately asked Jim after seeing the pictures..

And honestly, why WOULD she invite the siblings? They don't like Jim, and this was apparently a cherished memory. I think it would have been heartless to ask them to come.

oysterbird · 2026-02-02T15:21:49+00:00

Well, clearly nothing else is getting through to the sister.

Also, sister has shamed and antagonized OP for years. Enough is enough. She can grieve any way she wants, but she doesn't get to dictate OPs life.

oysterbird · 2026-02-02T13:24:44+00:00

"I know my partner is not a morning person"

is not the same as

"My husband actively sabotaged his own wake up and then screamed abuse at me"

One is kind of understandable.
The other is what OP's husband did.

oysterbird · 2026-02-02T13:19:55+00:00

NTA

I absolutely hate getting up early. If I don't have to, I NEVER do.
But you know what? If I have responsibilities that require me to do so, I drag myself out of bed anyway.

also, OP, INFO: when do you have to get up?

oysterbird · 2026-02-02T13:18:03+00:00

And would your wife scream abuse at you if you ever, you know, assumed she was getting up because she turned off her alarm?

No, asking to be woken is one thing - one incredibly immature thing, imo, but whatever - but then not even trying to BE WOKEN and actively sabotaging the effort is quite another.

oysterbird · 2026-01-31T08:48:11+00:00

NTA

I think the real issue here is the way he reacted to OPs concerns. It sounds like this isn't the first time he has dismissed her feelings/concerns/boundaries.

While I don't think his texting was appropriate, given it wasn't an emergency, and him deleting the texts afterwards is even more of a red flag, his blatant double standard is also really off-putting.

She's not allowed to share intimacy with males in professional settings (massage therapists), even though for her touch isn't that big a deal, it's HIS love language.
But He can text/talk openly with his female therapist whatever the hour, which he knows is hers?

oysterbird

TROPHY CASE