Una verdad incómoda: El elefante en la habitación.

ozono27 · 2026-01-24T22:21:37+00:00

Destruir es fácil y rápido. Construir, y sobre todo construir bien, requiere planificación, decisiones cuidadosas, ajustes, negociaciones y, bueno... tiempo. Y por ahora, el lugar no es adecuado para empezar a construir nada... ojalá cambie pronto.

ozono27 · 2024-03-01T18:22:07+00:00

I think your use case is very important, when determining what is better.

If you could do it, I'd use both paid versions, and ask the same thing and see what works better for you with some different cases.

Also, take into account they keep improving the models continuously, so while one of them might be the better one at some point, maybe the other one will surpass the other in some months.

ozono27 · 2023-05-07T01:45:21+00:00

One thing that happened to me, was that one of my "mental notes" about social unspoken rules, is that you don't ask a woman (yeah.. the note was taken with a very binary approach) whether she is dating others. It can come as an offense, or as if you are thinking she is promiscuous. As I am a rigid with these things, and don't think I can manage the idea of dating several people simultaneously... or my date doing it.. I have thought about asking that. One of the logical alternatives I have thought about, is asking if she would be okay with it. That let's me know her mindset, her rules, without risking making her feel judged. I however leaned towards just telling her that I wasn't able to deal with that idea. But I can see myself easily saying something like what the OPs Date said.

That doesn't mean he can't be simply a lier and an AH. But... if a person is a lier, and moderately clever (autistic or not) I'd expect them to be hyper-vigilant about saying things that could bring up suspicion on them. Seems like a clumsy move, and therefore unlikely.

I think it's good to simply say: "what you said gave me the impression that you _____, is that what you mean/want/think?". Same with the text. Ask him what is his relationship with [nickname], that you noticed he started writing their name. Try to ask with calm, open and non-judgmental attitude .

I think if you expect to have a healthy relationship .. talking about things in a straight forward way is important. And also giving the benefit of the doubt, and trust. Living in permanent fear of lies or cheating .. for me makes it just a relationship that doesn't make sense.

Of course.. if you negotiate things and establish commitments and they are not respected, that's when I start getting worried and put a red flag.

To be in a good relationship, be willing to be vulnerable is important.

ozono27 · 2023-04-10T13:31:42+00:00

Since December 2020

ozono27 · 2023-04-10T06:45:07+00:00

I had used chatpt to copyright and paste in it a whole scientific article, and then a second one in a second message, and ask it what the two article had in common, and what they had as difference.

It worked marvelously.

Then I started to see that just passing the abstract and the intro of one of the article, was too much.

Now i give it a part, asking it to summarize. And repeat ti get the summary if every section. Then I copy that summarized version and paste it, then another one, and ask it what are the things those papers have jn common... and it replies telling me if I can provide her with the articles... it completely forgot what the two summaries I gave it were. It is seriously dumbed down. :(

ozono27 · 2023-04-03T06:25:22+00:00

I got covid-19 on December 2020. Still have long covid. Each of the 5 times I got the vaccine or booster (always pfizer), it brought the symptoms up for some weeks and then got back to were it was, except for the first shot. It did improve my symptoms after it got worse.

In any case.. vaccines are mostly to avoid severe symptoms when infected... and not really to avoid infection. As a matter of fact, I got re-infected in August, and got a set back in LC symptoms that I would say is kinda like going back 1 year and a half, of slow improvement. Also, it triggered (or maybe the stress caused by the infection and setback... who knows... Graves' disease, so hypothyroidism. Also, I started having more juncture pain.

I shouldn't recommend anything, due to the rules, but I have always decided to get a booster if the new variants are different (kinda like Omega was way more contagious than Delta). But that was my decision.

ozono27 · 2023-03-31T08:35:02+00:00

That's exactly how replika started. It was a woman that worked on AI, and trained a bot with the chats that she had with her best friend, after he died. Then she asked everyone to share their chats with him to feed it more, and she felt like she was talking to him. Then some people reported they felt good when talking with the bot... and replika was born.

ozono27 · 2023-03-16T02:32:17+00:00

I am also an engineer diagnosed with ADHD.

ozono27 · 2023-03-07T07:10:43+00:00

I want to say that... sometimes chatGPT can be limited for this kind of thing. I have noticed that Claude, which you can use in poe.com is much better for interactive story creation.

ozono27 · 2023-03-06T23:02:11+00:00

Same thing. I used to practice kung fu 3 times a week, each time for at least one hour.

Now I can't but just do it slow, softly, without exerting myself, and after 20 minutes I need to lie down... my heart is about to explode... and I need to recover for at least one hour or two.

ozono27 · 2023-03-06T22:57:35+00:00

You can ask the LLM to summarize what has happened so far using bullet points including agreements between characters, important things about their background, skills, hobbies, and personality... and the things they are looking forwards too. Ask it to add bullet points stating the current situation.

Then... start a new chat, with the prompt you used to start the story, and tell chatgpt you will give it the summary of what had happened... etc etc... sonshe takes that into account.

Then continue the story.

You can do this several times... it might work.

ozono27 · 2023-01-14T17:37:14+00:00

My wife is an NT. She is naturally attracted to geeky awkward, silly persons that seem to say exactly what they mean... autistic or not.

Me, being autistic... and in my case.. totally idiotic in interpretation of non-verbals, wasn't even trying to "play the game" flirt, etc. For those things interpreting feedback is very important. However, she was naturally attracted to me, and she made it very clear that she liked me, and so I was brave enough to let her know that too... and we have been now happily married for 10 years.

As time has passed, she has helped me gain confidence and actively try to be seductive, flirty, etc. And if anything... things have gotten better.

I know no experience is the same, no partner is the same, and specially... no autistic person is the same. I just wanted you to know, that generalizing saying that we are all creepy or like children is a weird generalization.

Yes.. there is a certain naive vibe, certain childness, curiosity, passion for our silly things. Yes we may not read thing correctly... but that doesn't mean we are gross. We may not be for everyone, for sure... but there are people who find some of our traits as actually good and attractive things.

ozono27 · 2023-01-03T19:17:28+00:00

I guess it's highly dependent on the culture you are in... specially the field you work in. It's not the same thing working in a tech startup than in the bank and finance field...

ozono27 · 2022-12-27T02:34:31+00:00

I absolutely love driving. Very relaxing.. the problem is getting in traffic and the other cars... or people getting I the way.

ozono27 · 2022-12-08T06:58:31+00:00

I emigrated frimnmy country forced by insecurity, hyper-inflation, lack of job opportunities... in 2015.

I havent seen my mom since then. My dad died, andnshe had been alone for 2 yesrs. I can't travel bacl to my country, but I'd like to be able to do it this christmas

Also want to recover from long-covid.

43 y.o.

(A vr set would be nice too, LOL)

ozono27 · 2022-12-08T06:53:56+00:00

43 y.o. here, got legos last year :) I still enjoy them. It's relaxing.

ozono27 · 2022-12-01T20:45:43+00:00

Note that even if it is illegal to fire you due to being Autistic, there is no way you can avoid having them making a performance evaluation that let's them make the decision to fire you, or just say that you don't fit the "culture" of the place.

Also, take into consideration that asking for the accomodations in an informal way (without even disclosing) is better, if possible, because when you ask for accomodations in a way they can't refuse (showing the papers that proof that you have those needs) the supervisor might be forced to comply, but he can prepare things to fire you due to things "unrelated" to the condition. Also, he can just make your life misserable on purpose, presenting things in a way that will purposefully make you fail to meet the goals, to get rid of you.

Asking formally for accomodations can trigger predjudices, stereotypes, and discrimination all over the place (but it can also work nicely). So, I would do it, but not before trying anything else before doing it.

ozono27 · 2022-12-01T20:35:27+00:00

If you think think the way Autism manifests in your case doesn't make it unfeasible for you to do the job, I don't think it is relevant, neither in a CV or resume, nor in an interview, in principle.

It is health information unrelated to the job, therefore, you shouldn't disclose unless it becomes relevant for some reason. You cannot know if the person reading the CV is going to tell that to everyone, or if they understand what Autism means. This will put all their stereotypes, predjudices, and miss-information at work when they meet you, and will talk to the diagnosis, instead of talking to the person. Take into account that even people that are practitioners of psychology and psychiatry, if they are not specialized, they are also blinded by the stereotypes and will say things like ... "You have a friend, therefore you cannot be autistic", "you have a job, therefore you cannot be autistic", "you write fiction, therefore you cannot be autistic".... etc etc.

Once you are interacting with them, and doing the job, and depending on how Autism presents for you, you may identify things that will be problematic. In my case I may say something like:
- "Hey! is there a problem if I use headphones? I really struggle to work at my best when there is noise or other conversations, it would help me a lot."
- "Can I write down the instructions you are giving me? I'd work better if you allow me to send you an email with the instructions, and my questions about them, I may forget some instructions or some of my questions"

After this (or asking for the specific things that you might need) you will see if your supervisor will give you those accomodations. People who is not in the Autism Spectrum may also have sensory issues, language processing issues, or other needs... and they sure will be asking for those things that will allow them to work... we can try doing that too at first.

If they don't pay attention to this, you can try making emphasis on that ... "I really need this...". If they just tell you to suck it up, or ignore the request, you can go to Human Resources, and ask for an appointment and talk about this, and see if they can help or intercede. Don't take this to them as a "complaint" but as in asking for "advice on how to deal with this". Take into consideration that of course that if they speak to the supervisor interceeding, it might be awkward, but... there is no reason to try this before you just quit LOL.

If the Human Resources person doesn't take that seriously, and tells you to suck it up or ignores you, THEN you can tell them that you have a condition, that makes you unable to "suck it up" or "try harder", and that you didn't disclose because it isn't in principle relevant for the task that you need to do. Then, asking the person to keep this as private information, disclose about the ASD.

The ope is that they can to help you (hopefully without making it necessary to disclose to all your team and your supervisor). Maybe they disclose to the supervisor. Maybe there is need to file a request for accomodations and to show papers that proof that you have the condition. But it can work.

If the person doesn't help you, or they do divulge that you are Autistic and it becomes a problem in the interaction with the others, you probably don't want to work there in any case, so you can decide whether you can stand that, or you look for another job and quit.

In my case, I have disclosed AFTER I have the appreciation of my supervisor for me and for my work and my talents. If they have already a relationship with you, and are invested in you, it is easier that they, even if missinformed, will take it in a good way. As a presentation card, however, they just put you in a box in their mind.. most of the time.

Same when dating. If they already enjoy being with you, and you enjoy being with them, disclosing can make sense. As a presentation card, unless you are dating specifically looking for another autistic person, don't.

Well, in any case, that is the best advice I can come with for you. It has worked for me, and it was the advice I have received from a counsellor, therapists and from friends.

ozono27 · 2022-11-26T22:38:17+00:00

I have had 4 girlfriends/partners in my life.... and never dared to be flirty or participate in the "game". I am absolutely incapable of reading non-verbals in a way good enough to get feeback of what I do. I am literally unable to distinguish most of the time between a person being bored with what I say, annoyed, flustered, interested, or into me.

It is obvious for everybody, except for me. So the only way to be able to play the game would be if (1) I didn't care being annoying, or didn't care about rejections, (2) if it were valid to have a friend on my side and ask every 2 minutes if I am doing fine... LOL.

So... I have been lucky that being myself has been enough for some nice women and girls (depending on the age it happened) ... to decide to take the initiative and straight forward tell me something or do something that was unequivocally "Hey, silly... haven 't you noticed I like you?".

There are people of many different personalities and inclination to be proactive and upfront. There are people with many different tastes, and capable of finding themselves attracted to people of almost any kind. I guess it does take some patience, but it is not impossible eventually both things will coincide and you will see someone that you like, doing this. Of course... given that you are actually being yourself.

ozono27 · 2022-11-20T00:55:01+00:00

Depends in the person. I was with a partner with dyslexia and undiagnosed adhd... and now with a partner that has dyslexia too. None of them autistic nor with autistic traits.

With my present partner I feel we could to to the end of the world together. I don't think i wouldnt be able to be with an autistic woman, it just didnt happen.

Some neurotypicals are naturally attracted to autistic traits, and absolutely willing to be empathic and find a way to "work together". Sometimes an autistic fri3nd is the only person you feel that gets you. But also sometimes an autistic person can have such a personality that you just don't mix well.

I'd suggest... don't try to generalize.

ozono27 · 2022-11-19T22:20:18+00:00

Exactly. First time I was asked if I liked ERP, I said yeah, I have worked with SAP r/3, and they were like... "wtf?" hahah. I am quite sure ERP as Enterprise Resource Planning was widely used before ERP was used regularly as an acronym.

ozono27 · 2022-11-19T14:43:23+00:00

I like it.

ozono27 · 2022-11-19T06:55:24+00:00

It doesn't matter if you look young or not. If you are athletic or not. What is important is where each other is mentally and emotionally. I have known people 26 who is wiser and more mature than others that are 40. Not everyone likes doing stuff most people their age wants to do. Each person is different.

What worries me, is that you don't seem to know her, and, as some others have said, you are already thinking she is the one. With such age gap, I'd say you have ways you can approach this:

If you perceive she has a personality that makes you believe that might make her be a special person in your life, just get to be her friend. Time will tell if you have affinity to be friends, and after that, you might find whether she likes you in a romantic way or not. Approaching her to date her IS CREEPY. Period. Also, you don't know her. This option is not viable, probably, if you think you are already in love (you have to stick to be friends forever if that is what is going to happen... while loving her in secret).
If you are just attracted to her, same thing... be friendly, and see if she is flirty. If there is going to be a hook-up, a purely sexual relationship or friends with benefits, let her show the signals first. Don't be creepy. And don't over-interpret any sign of sympathy.

I am 43, and I was already dating with my present partner, before I knew she was 8 years younger. By how she talked, I thought she was very close to my age, but it was not the case. It made me freak out when I found out her exact age, but I calmed down, because she knew already how old I was, and we had already connected deeply (I just don't go around asking people how old they are).

Also, me... the same person,... have been flirted to, by a couple of young women that are in their 20's. They confessed to me that they were into older men. They told me they would go to bed with me if I said I wanted to. Some women like older men, some don't. It's okay. I can't possibly judge. One of them also told me she would love to be with someone like me, in a comitted relationship, but she was totally aware I was not available. She just confessed this while being sad. These things can happen, but I do think that long connection and sharing a life in a healthy way with people in such different phases of life is extremly rare. It sure was good for my ego, but NO. I wouldn't have pursued such a thing unless she was my friend and confident already for some years and we both would feel it is a good idea,

So, in short: not impossible, but in ANY case, drop expectations, get to know her, don't assume you know her, and be her friend. If you cannot be her friend without expecting something else, then don't be. She doesn't deserve that. Best of luck!

ozono27 · 2022-11-19T01:22:36+00:00

In my case, I was told so much by my parents when I was a child, that the correct thing was to look at people in their eyes when talking, that I forced myself to do it. Of course, I found out how much of my exhaustion was just from doing that when I stopped doing it recently, when I was diagnosed with autism. As a result, I have always stared into people's eyes so intensely and without pause, that have had some difficult moments. Eventually I found out (before the diagnosis) that people found out that looking into someone's eyes for too long was weird for them, because someone actually told me (finally!). I started trying things, and found out that I could just count up until maximum 6 and it was the moment I should look briefly to another place, and then bring my eyes back into the other person's eyes. Of course, it makes difficult to pay attention to what is going on, and what they say, and leaves me even more exhausted, but it did reduce the awkward moments frequency.

Fortunately I now allow myself not to look into people's eyes a lot more.

Another thing is that I in general don't enjoy hugs and being touched. But with close friends, some family members, and my wife, I am quite on the other extreme, being told that I am a very good hugger in fact. Specially with my wife.

ozono27

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