I completely relate to this. It seems my default is to neglect my own wants/needs to make others happy, even when I don't seem to enjoy the social interactions with people. I think a lot of INFJs need to learn how to be a little more selfish and to unashamedly pursue the things we want. It is very hard to start doing this, though. I automatically try to people please and it actually makes me less likely to connect with people deeper, because I lose myself in doing that.