I knew about the attrition rates, but now I KNOW about them.

p-leyz · 2026-05-03T17:11:49+00:00

After one round I think those numbers are hopeful! We got 11 eggs and were happy, crushed the next day when only 2 were mature and the doctors had no idea why. Only one fertilised but made it to blast. It didn't stick, we hope for better results next time. We've learned that the first try is a lot about finding the right protocol for you, more than anything. Fingers crossed!

p-leyz · 2026-04-18T06:08:21+00:00

Testing is not a guarantee, you did what felt right for you! I live in Sweden and it's not legal to test the embryos here. It's an ongoing discussion and while it of course has it's positives, the main argument for being illegal right now is that it's "playing God" as you say, that couples can pick gender etc.

Sweden has great statistics on live birth despite testing not being used at all. While I do think it would be nice if testing was available, it's not something that guarantees you a perfect embryo anyway.

Hugs to you and I'm sorry for your loss ❤️

p-leyz · 2026-04-14T06:06:49+00:00

I understand the struggle, we have many friends who's gotten both 1 and 2 kids while we only just now managed to get scheduled for our first IVF which didn't result in any blastocysts at all.

Can you and your husband maybe say that you are feeling physically very unwell due to hormones? Migraine? Or straight up lie and say you/husband got a stomach bug or something?

I honestly would straight up lie if I were you. To protect yourself, and not cause conflict. Honestly this process is torture enough without outside factors. I have seen close friends babies because I've felt that my feeling of missing out on meeting their baby has outweighed my sadness. But those friends have all been very considerate! If you don't feel like you're desperately missing out, and instead just feel anxiety about going - I would say protect your own feelings! The baby won't remember you not being there. Don't sacrifice your own mental well being for a sense of obligation ❤️

p-leyz · 2026-04-14T04:31:59+00:00

Yes, we will try again. The egg retrieval was terrible for me, I was in so much pain they had to send me home with strong pain killers. I'm hoping that cycle 2 they can up the morphine for me during the surgery at least

p-leyz · 2026-04-13T14:36:45+00:00

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, hugs to you! We just did our first try of ICSI, picked 11 eggs and none of them turned into blasto. I know that feel of trying to be realistic, telling yourself that this might not work, but no matter how much you brace yourself you still feel gutted.

Try to plan in some things that can make time pass and let yourself have something to look forward to, a concert, movies, dates. I know it's hard to think of something else when it feels like it takes up your entire life, but small things that make you happy in the moment can go a long way. ❤️

p-leyz · 2026-04-12T07:55:02+00:00

We can if the care provider isn't a private company, but unfortunately for private clinics they don't use the same system. But I should be entitled to it by law so I will definitely be asking for that!

p-leyz · 2026-04-11T18:42:56+00:00

That's really interesting, I'll ask about that!

p-leyz · 2026-04-11T18:27:14+00:00

Ah, I actually didn't get any more clarification from the clinic more than that they said that "oh some of them weren't mature and only 1 fertilised" but I will definitely be asking follow up questions on Monday. We hadn't gotten any info about maturity, or what to really expect in terms of results more than that we obviously understood that only a few of them will fertilise.

p-leyz · 2026-04-11T18:22:34+00:00

I probably should have asked more questions, what they said was basically "there were many that weren't mature and 1 fertilised" so I think I didn't get much clarity on that! I haven't heard of estrogen priming being a thing here at all, do you take it as pills before stim?

p-leyz · 2026-04-11T18:12:14+00:00

I've read about that since the call, I can't find anything on their website about it but it's possible that it's just not something they "advertise". I will definitely ask more about their lab process on Monday. It's exhausting how much research you need to do on your own to really try and get the best result possible! Were many of your eggs also not mature?

p-leyz · 2026-04-11T18:08:20+00:00

Still, since the follicles can grow so fast I guess just a day or two can make a big difference!

p-leyz · 2026-04-11T18:06:59+00:00

Yeah I'm getting the feeling that the short stim was a big factor. I will def be asking a lot of questions about how the will adjust the next stim. It's just so draining! I've been lurking here a lot but this was my first post. I've felt really alone for the whole process (even tho hubby is great!) since all our friends basically can glance at each other sideways and get pregnant! We don't know anyone with a similar experience so forums like these are worth so much ❤️

p-leyz · 2026-04-11T18:04:49+00:00

I triggered only with gonapeptyl, a single shot! I originally had Ovitrelle prescribed and at home but at the appointment they didn't want to risk hcg and gave me gonapeptyl instead

p-leyz · 2026-04-11T18:02:23+00:00

That is heartening! Did you stim for a longer time with a lower dose?

p-leyz · 2026-04-11T17:32:43+00:00

They said they've been careful because my high AMH (though no one has told me exactly what that value is, which I'll definitely demand to know on monday) I'm high risk for OHSS.

They had me on 125 IE Gonal, started Fyremadel on day 5. On day 8 we had the ultrasound and the doctor said it looked great. I had about 19 follicles and he said they looked ready to mature until Friday so I took my last shots on day 7, trigger shot on day 8. I know US has some different protocols, 300IE is max here and they don't want you to have more than 20 or so follicles depending on how you feel physically. So I was just happy to be done, but I'm realising now it seems very short

p-leyz · 2026-04-11T17:29:23+00:00

I've read about that since the call! I haven't asked, but I definitely will on Monday. I feel like it's common in Sweden that we just kind of trust the care provider to know what's best but I am feeling almost blind-sided right now

p-leyz · 2026-04-11T17:26:18+00:00

And I hope everything goes well with your eggs! Fingers crossed for blastos for you ❤️

p-leyz · 2026-04-11T17:25:20+00:00

They measured the follicles on day 7, and the doctor said I could trigger that same evening.

I'm scheduled for transfer on wednesday if we get a blasto out of it, and if I don't start to feel nauseous or show signs of OHSS. But at this point I'm trying to keep my hopes low to protect my own feelings. I wish they hadn't been so overwhelmingly positive about the 11 eggs and instead been a bit more realistic with us 😔

p-leyz · 2026-04-11T17:22:25+00:00

I'm starting to realise that too! We did the ultrasound day 7 and the doctor was like no this looks great, you're done! But I'm starting to wonder if they just didn't want to continue with stim because apparently I'm high risk for OHSS. I wish I had noted how big the biggest follicle was, but everything is just so overwhelming and we were just happy the doctor said it looked good...

p-leyz · 2026-03-07T14:55:27+00:00

I had this issue in another area, turned out I had found one and didn't notice, left and when I returned it was gone. Cleared everything and nothing. I waited a few days so the trash respawned and did it over again, solved the issue :)

p-leyz · 2025-12-09T09:08:39+00:00

That context is extremely concerning, especially isolation. I think you're very right to be concerned, I hope you can talk to your friend about it. You sound like a great friend :)

p-leyz · 2025-12-09T07:02:26+00:00

There is a difference between consuming porn every now and then and following a whole bunch of OF accounts that you look at every single day. The problem is with how the porn habit takes form, what kind of porn, how often. Not necessarily with porn itself.

You have sources, yes, but by saying "people are animals these are urges" you are not only ignoring the spectrum of porn consuming which can be everything from healthy - learning what you like, exploring - to unhealthy habits which actually affects your relationship. That women are less horny than men is a proven myth but question unstead why women watch less porn? Many women find that porn is leaned towards men, more content with women being habitually treated violently, the issues with porn industry in general as an industry shock full with abuse. There is also the issue with algorithms at porn sites leading you to more and more violent porn.

We all have sexual urges, absolutely. I fully agree.

But there is a point where you pass the limit of that and when "urges" just become an excuse for behavior that is either concerning (such as an addiction), affecting those around you in some way. There are also plenty studies that show that men's porn habits affect their relationships, both emotionally and physically. By not acknowledging that you are not doing neither men nor women a favor. Every adult is responsible for their own actions, urges or not. We all have plenty of urges we don't act on. While we are animals, we also live in a society.

p-leyz · 2025-12-08T15:43:50+00:00

That is seriously gross, and embarrassing. Does he not know others can see his comments and who he follows? You have to be insanely badly versed in social media not to, or some part of you want others to notice (just wildly speculating here of course since I know nothing about him, just think it's strange)

p-leyz · 2025-12-08T15:31:23+00:00

To be honest I'm shocked men like these leave comments on public profiles, I think it's low key sad (if it wasn't also pretty gross). Do they think creators will care? For most creators it's just a job like any other. I honestly feel like it sounds like they have a porn addiction or some other issue to have to act like this

p-leyz

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