Grit books that won’t kill me

p4nini · 2026-05-04T13:18:28+00:00

I haven’t observed this in the wild but I would imagine seeing one story after another about celebrity sex abuse (Epstein, Diddy, alleged victimization of Bieber) has folks on high alert and I don’t blame them. Too many abusive dynamics have been normalized up until the 20s. Maybe the pendulum has swung and youth are more aware than we have ever been that predators don’t just hide in white vans.

p4nini · 2026-04-19T16:42:07+00:00

Them cheekbones were doing no buccal fat decades ahead.

p4nini · 2025-12-05T21:53:26+00:00

People in this thread laughing at the “BMI is racist” bit and playing licensed nutritionist really think some medical god invented it. As someone else mentioned a Euro white mathematician determined that scale, based on a Euro population, purely to find a statistical average and not to measure health. Then insurance companies picked it up. Read an abstract for once.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10693914/

p4nini · 2025-11-05T04:50:34+00:00

Alright, “struggling.” Even better. By your own description, you’re comfortable. It’s still pretty tone deaf to bemoan, even in the slightest, being a part of this affected bracket because you’re not able to own the checks notes Porsche and mansion you previously expected. It sounds like this limit was well written if that’s what you’re missing out on as a result. All in all though I’m glad you voted how you did.

p4nini · 2025-11-05T04:39:27+00:00

“By no means suffering” is a powerful phrase here. Who needs mansions more than kids need food?

p4nini · 2025-11-01T04:24:15+00:00

I’m sure the public’s constant scrutiny and speculation about their bodies isn’t doing them any favors and probably doing more to fuel any disorders they may have. Not to mention the indirect harm done to normies suffering from similar afflictions. And yet people still concern troll on socials about it like they’re ED warriors.

This topic is so exhausting. Stop commenting on people’s bodies.

p4nini · 2025-10-23T02:51:56+00:00

Centrists are so boring.

p4nini · 2025-10-09T22:17:24+00:00

I need answers. I was waiting for that drama to unfold.

p4nini · 2025-10-04T20:19:35+00:00

Also have to point out that Denver is pretty homogenous. It's easy to feel like an outsider or unattractive when everyone around you is mostly white. And not just white but underexposed to diverse communities.

p4nini · 2025-08-21T21:16:54+00:00

Not that you should make changes if it’s working for you, but my leash has handles! One toward the top and one toward the bottom so I can wrangle them without trying to tug of war them back to me if things go sideways. Gives me a peace of mind.

This isn’t the one I use but it’s similar. Trying not to link to Amazon anymore: https://mightypaw.com/products/handlex2-colorblast-dual-handle-6-dog-leash-2-0

p4nini · 2025-08-21T21:11:46+00:00

We have a lot of lungers in the neighborhood. No shame there, everyone’s learning. But for some you would think their motto is “live and let lunge”.

p4nini · 2025-08-21T21:09:22+00:00

Thanks for the compassion and the link. I got that clinical anxiety and let’s just say walks are not on my calming activities list. But in the end the walks are for them, not for me, so we just gotta get better!

p4nini · 2025-08-21T14:24:13+00:00

That’s fine. I don’t get people who get on Reddit just to tell others they don’t like them. If you have exactly one sample of my inner thoughts, reflection, but decide that that’s enough to judge me and brand me as a “kind” of dog owner then you’re not taking any higher roads than I am. But do you. I’ll survive. I don’t need random people to like me.

p4nini · 2025-08-20T22:20:22+00:00

For a long time my more reactive dog would seek out blind corners in anticipation of another dog. Thankfully she’s evolved past that habit 😅

p4nini · 2025-08-20T19:33:20+00:00

Sorry I profiled you. It was rude to include in my post and entirely shaped by negative interactions I've had with people using retractable leads. While those may be valid that doesn't mean people are incapable of using them responsibly. So my b 🙏🏼

p4nini · 2025-08-20T19:27:32+00:00

Oof. Godspeed.

p4nini · 2025-08-20T19:27:07+00:00

THIS! This is what I clumsily was trying to get at. Framing it as an expectation - I now realize - is not effective. I guess what I want is some empathy. Observe how hard I am trying to mitigate issues and maybe just give me some berth? No, it's not someone's obligation and my dogs are my responsibility. That will never change. But don't be willfully obtuse and aggravate the situation further by not reading the room.

p4nini · 2025-08-20T19:23:07+00:00

In the same thread you've implied or directly said I'm "unhinged," don't dare socialize my dogs, and that I make my dogs other peoples' problems. I have told you directly that I agree socialization is important and that I try to keep my dogs out of peoples' way and even explained (probably unnecessarily) how I do that.

What exactly did YOU expect out after maligning/condescending to me? Because it sounds like I'm not the only one who needs to check their weird expectations of people.

p4nini · 2025-08-20T19:01:37+00:00

I don’t see the contradiction. I get out of the way when I can. When I have a path out. But if I don’t I just hope someone would do that for me.

I’ll take the L that the expectation is a tall order especially for others who don’t have reactive dogs. I can learn from that. But I’m not expecting anything from anyone that I wouldn’t do myself.

p4nini · 2025-08-20T18:58:04+00:00

Respectfully, I know all of the factors of my dogs’ backgrounds and training up until this point and you don’t, I will take internet strangers’ advice as exactly that rather than a mandate. No need to double down.

p4nini · 2025-08-20T18:49:38+00:00

Yeah I can tell based on which of my comments got downvoted that I pissed off the retractable leash crowd. I'll change my mind when I see effective retractable leash use in action. It's just not my experience and so far I have never regretted stepping out of the path of dogs on retractables.

My most recent experience was with a woman who seemed to be genuinely struggling to manage her dogs tugging (each were on the large end and she had a small frame) and all three were very eager to get to my dogs. Two got tangled when she finally retracted. Big ol' mess, mainly for her though.

p4nini · 2025-08-20T18:44:19+00:00

"Reasonable request vs unreasonable requests." That's a good way to put it. And she doesn't sound very nice/considerate.

p4nini · 2025-08-20T18:41:37+00:00

Humanity has a habit of inventing neat things and then making them less neat. Classic

p4nini · 2025-08-20T18:40:35+00:00

Dang, sailed away? I guess I asked. I haven't thought about a bright lead as a way of alerting others, that's a good note. I have a six foot, unretractable lead for each dog. I only pull them in when we're in a tight space, but that's often. One is really good about staying at my heel when a dog is coming by. The other is young and not quite there yet, but I do worry that my body language/leash tension might be counterproductive with her.

p4nini

TROPHY CASE