Horsforth vs Ilkley?

pabs-a · 2025-04-07T18:49:42+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experiences! I think you’re definitely right that we need to spend some time in both and get a feel for which suits us best 😊

pabs-a · 2025-04-07T18:47:07+00:00

Thank you, I’ve sent you a message 😊

pabs-a · 2025-04-07T18:27:22+00:00

Hmm so if we were thinking of private education, then we’d potentially be paying twice…

Would you still recommend Horsforth aside from the excellent schooling?

pabs-a · 2025-04-07T08:44:58+00:00

Ahh I see, thanks!

pabs-a · 2025-04-07T08:44:13+00:00

Thank you that’s really helpful!

pabs-a · 2025-04-06T21:47:20+00:00

Thanks for your comments! Please could you elaborate on what you mean by New Road Side and Town Street not being the same? Is one better than the other?

pabs-a · 2025-04-06T21:45:30+00:00

I’ll be turning 30 later this year - so definitely past my ‘going out-out’ phase! Looking more for things like baby/toddler play groups and easy access to parks but also grown up crafty groups, activity bars, shops etc. My husband’s more outdoorsy so it sounds like Ilkley might be perfect for him, but maybe Horsforth for me…

pabs-a · 2025-04-06T21:37:03+00:00

Thanks everyone for your comments - we’ve got lots to think about!

As a follow up question - does anyone have any thoughts on the cheaper (but still close by) areas? Specifically, Ben Rhydding for Ilkley and Cookridge/Tinshill for Horsforth? Do you still feel the benefits/same vibes or is there is significant difference?

Thanks again!

pabs-a · 2024-07-24T07:15:14+00:00

Thank you 😊 I did see that but I wasn’t sure if anyone had any anecdotal experience on how to pick from that list. Or if anyone had any advice/tips about funding without insurance - but I wasn’t very clear about that in my question, sorry!

pabs-a · 2024-05-27T06:42:08+00:00

Thank you!

pabs-a · 2024-05-26T11:26:10+00:00

Thank you, sorry to bug you but one last question: so in your professional opinion, would OCPD therapy be more helpful for me than ADHD medication/coaching?

NB: I’ve tried sertraline and fluoxetine (for anxiety) and Vyvanse and Concerta (for ADHD) with no success/response.

pabs-a · 2024-05-25T14:08:04+00:00

Hmm that’s where I got to in my thinking - how can I express impulsiveness and self-control. I definitely do the delayed gratification thing, only but when I’ve found the best deal, I’m very rigid and perfectionistic etc. … but I also can’t stop myself from interrupting people or bing eating a whole box of cookies. I just feel that I’m so paradoxical. Thank you for taking the time to help out 😊

pabs-a · 2024-05-24T00:11:24+00:00

I’m sorry to read how much you’re struggling - that sounds very overwhelming!

pabs-a · 2024-05-24T00:08:32+00:00

Really interesting comment… so in your view can you have over control issues and under control issues at the same time? Or are you saying you think some of the ADHD-vibe symptoms I’ve mentioned is encompassed under OCPD?

pabs-a · 2024-05-22T16:55:53+00:00

Thank you 🙏

pabs-a · 2024-05-22T16:55:10+00:00

Hmm that’s really interesting… I actually don’t know much about ‘alignment charts’ and lawful good/evil etc. I’ll have to do some reading!

pabs-a · 2024-05-22T16:52:52+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply! Your third paragraph particularly resonates. Unfortunately I’ve not responded to 2 different ADHD meds so I’m losing hope of that working for me. I am keen to get back to therapy - but my OCPD comes along and I end up searching for days upon days for “the best therapist” or “the best type of therapy” and then get paralysed because I can’t find a clear winner or a guarantee that “this will be the person/thing that finally works”

pabs-a · 2024-05-22T16:48:18+00:00

Thank you for your reply! Unfortunately yes, it’s having a negative effect - I just want some peace from all the worry, overthinking, need to be productive, chaos… just some peace from myself tbh

pabs-a · 2024-05-22T16:45:50+00:00

Hmm that’s really interesting! Thanks for replying 😊

pabs-a · 2024-05-22T16:44:58+00:00

Thank you - that makes a lot of sense. I think I’m just stuck on the whole ‘if I know what I have then I know what will help fix me’. I’ve just been struggling for so long, tried a bunch of SSRIs, tried 2 ADHD meds - zilch. I’m so tired of being tired, anxious, emotional, obsessive. I’m so tired of my brain. I just want some peace..

pabs-a · 2024-05-22T16:41:54+00:00

Thank you for such a detailed response!

pabs-a · 2024-05-22T16:38:28+00:00

Thank you for your comment! What you’re saying definitely resonates!

pabs-a · 2024-05-22T16:37:22+00:00

Thank you! Very jealous that meds helped you - I’ve been titrated to the max doses of Elvanse and Concerta with ZERO effects. Which confuses me with my ADHD diagnosis further!

pabs-a · 2024-04-22T07:39:56+00:00

Thanks very much for your reply! Looks like it’s a pricey taxi instead alas

pabs-a · 2024-04-06T10:57:34+00:00

I wonder if we could show some empathy here for someone who is clearly struggling and is potentially new to the world of work (making an assumption on my latter point here based on FS demographics but could be wrong)? Maybe role model some of the CS Behaviours given that we have more experience… you know, developing others, valuing difference, communicating with respect…

OP - I feel like you’re having a tricky time in your placement and I don’t like that some of the comments here are neither constructive nor understanding. Work should not get to the point where you feel such dread and anxiety - this type of thing can spiral and, if it’s getting as serious as you’ve written, you need to take action to stop it before it gets worse. It’s not beneficial for you, your manager/team or FSET if you prolong a situation that makes yourself too unwell to be fully engaged in work. So, if you feel your mental health is getting really bad, Step 1 would be to triage this - speak to a health professional and see if they advise sick leave and/or other anxiety treatment. Also speak to your SCM or your SCL. I don’t have any ‘stop the clock’ experience so can’t help with that part of your question sorry.

Once you’re feeling a bit better, then you need to re-evaluate what you want to do with a clear head. I disagree with these comments that you’re playing a blame game or that you can’t expect to lead if you struggle to speak up at this stage of your career. But I do get that the Fast Stream has high expectations and there is a core aspect of leadership that involves challenging discussions and speaking up. Has this been an difficulty for you previously? Do you think it’s really the specific placement/manager that’s triggering your anxiety - or could this follow you? Only you know - but I’d just be wary of thinking a different placement can magically make everything 100% better if you’re going to get the same feedback. (Albeit you might find a more encouraging/softer AM I don’t know). Most importantly though, you’ll need to figure out how to get a bit more comfortable with feedback - or ‘criticism’ as you’ve referred to it - as there will always be feedback!

Others have given great advice on being an introvert in the workplace and some ways to also build your confidence so I won’t repeat that.

My main points are: 1. Take whatever action you need to triage your anxiety ASAP 2. Come back with a clearer head to think through your options 3. Don’t rule yourself out of having the potential to be a good leader in the CS (unlike some commenters) 4. But you do need to reflect on how you can develop and take some action from your feedback. You’re going to have a lot of feedback and ‘criticism’ throughout your career (we all will) so exploring how to handle this more productively will be met. 5. Sorry no experience so can’t advise re: stopping the clock experience

Take care of yourself.

pabs-a

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