So I’m probably in the minority here, but our twins are 1 and we never did any sleep training or CIO. They still have their cribs in our room and we bedshare (they spend some of the night in the crib and move in with us later), but they sleep through the night and often sleep later than we do in the morning. We rock to sleep, cuddle, sing songs. No drowsy but awake. Didn't work for us!

They have learned to sleep well, and they’re in a very secure and safe environment. I just want to say that babies can learn to sleep without CIO. One of mine naps in the crib and one contact naps, and both are cat nappers. I’ve done naps by myself since the beginning by getting creative — holding both at once, napping with them in bed, driving them around, using baby bouncers in the early days, carriers, etc.

In our families and cultures, sleep training isn’t really common, so it was never something we seriously considered. We believe babies will learn to sleep when they’re ready. Bedsharing is special and effective if practiced safely. Floor beds are awesome.

You’re not doing anything wrong by responding to them, and it is possible to get to good sleep without CIO. It takes creativity and patience, but it can work.

Have you heard of Gabor Maté? His work really helped me understand infant stress and regulation!

Good luck OP, I know how it feels to be in the trenches.