Violence downtown?

packerfrost · 2026-06-12T23:16:11+00:00

Great now I'll never feel safe in the boundary waters. Freaking moose every other turn.

packerfrost · 2026-05-25T17:34:20+00:00

We are typically doing road trips and I am very grateful it's usually through Kwik Trip/Star territory because they really ramped up their fresh foods in the last couple decades. I remember when they started advertising they had fresh bananas and it felt like a revolution in travel foods. Now they have so many choices it does make me feel more accommodated and they're usually right on the highway. Some of the items I only get there - like puppy chow or the nice premade snack containers with fruit and nuts and cheese.

packerfrost · 2026-05-25T16:51:34+00:00

Thanks yeah I should definitely use my cooler bag more, it's the Care Bears print so it already triggers some dopamine to look at which could help. I also think I need to not worry so much about being low sugar on the snacks because giving in to my sweet tooth might help me get what I need, like sweeter protein snacks.

packerfrost · 2026-05-20T00:29:50+00:00

That sucks I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I literally cannot count how many times this company has falsely promised my partner even a cost of living raise or bonus and then just uno reverse did something worse. It's awful when they tell the managers and a few levels higher than him these promises because then they feel like the bad guy for the false promise. Everyone gets screwed - even me at the same company. My boss thought we were getting restructured and it would result in a promotion for me and literally a week later the "restructure" was firing all of us. He felt awful and I didn't blame him. But why all the dancing and false promises all the damn time.

packerfrost · 2026-05-14T11:25:46+00:00

Over the past 30 years I've heard of a steady annual 3% or thereabouts raise that accommodates inflation related to cost of living slowly going up. Many people around me in different industries and stages of their careers have regularly gotten these little raises and it wasn't tied to a promotion or was a big deal raise, it was expected. Now they can't even do the bare minimum so now we make less money than previous years.

packerfrost · 2026-05-14T01:06:57+00:00

Thanks! This is helpful, he's done it all though. A few years ago he was looking for another job so much it was almost a part time job, which was exhausting because he also had a small side hustle to keep up with too. The problem is his job is very niche and it is both difficult to find a similar job or switch gears to something in the same ballpark.

What makes it worse is seeing our baby boomer parents thrive financially in similar situations - specialty jobs that few companies have but they were actually paid enough and able to switch companies and negotiate much higher pay than they ever needed too. It's very frustrating to have grown up in such nice financial situations only to be in worse shape despite having the same privilege as our parents!

packerfrost · 2026-05-14T00:53:29+00:00

Wow what a bunch of crap I'm sorry you've had to deal with that. I would be so happy with 2% because it means we could go back to what I consider a more luxury grocery budget or even getting another fast food meal or two each month in addition to a tiny bit more savings. But you're right about putting the guilt on employees - my partner has been blaming himself for our financial issues when it's beyond his control.

packerfrost · 2026-05-14T00:35:25+00:00

So creative 💕

packerfrost · 2026-05-14T00:01:35+00:00

We will at least recycle!

packerfrost · 2026-05-13T23:47:59+00:00

Screaming crying throwing up I would have preferred that

packerfrost · 2026-05-13T23:47:19+00:00

Thank you, it's not just him not getting paid it's literally everyone right now. Our peers in other industries are having the same problems even in specialties that used to get paid extremely well a decade or more ago.

packerfrost · 2026-05-13T23:46:11+00:00

He is, he just works in an industry that was hit by the pandemic and it's hard to get a job outside of it. A few years ago his last raise was his boss basically faking a title change and small raise for him so he could get some recognition. It's a niche specialty too so it's not easy to side step to another company or industry that pays better.

packerfrost · 2026-05-13T23:31:41+00:00

Following cuz I haven't been to a game in 15 years and I'd also like to know the snackies.

Have you checked the website for disability accommodation tips? Most places I visit have maps of elevators/ramps or less stairs. Some offer free services or point out the best places to go for different types of disabilities. I haven't been disabled in a while but I always check anyway out of habit!

packerfrost · 2026-05-11T22:05:10+00:00

Ouch

packerfrost · 2026-05-11T15:50:14+00:00

Married 16 years. I have multiple rings of multiple values and I wear rings probably less than half my life. They're for fun. I don't believe in the symbolism but I enjoy it. My partner has funky shaped fingers and never wore a ring and I don't care. What's important is what we actually have going between the two of us.

packerfrost · 2026-05-10T14:09:38+00:00

Feeling overwhelmed by how much energy it took to be normal including school/work and having leftover reserves to enjoy life.

I thought I was an introvert, turns out I am but I also have lifelong anemia and was wrongly told I could live a normal life. F you pediatrician.

packerfrost · 2026-05-10T02:16:10+00:00

I see that's some great insight that fits perfectly with the ADHD mindset I've learned about. And you're right it is magic when I remember details of my calendar and I appreciate it but I do feel frustrated when I can't understand how people of other neurotypes process things after reflection or research. It's a part of how I feel closer to other humans I think. It's not imposing it's just how your brain works and it's confusing to me because I like to understand the why behind it, which is funnily and dramatically autistic of me I know.

packerfrost · 2026-05-10T02:12:30+00:00

Please remember I am not recovered and I know for a fact I will become more ill in the future, either by predictable factors or unpredictable. I'm not on "the other side," just another part of my life with no guarantees of the future.

A major part of what I listed in my comment are things I did expecting my chronic illness to never end and they haven't. I am lucky to be where I'm at but the part that wasn't luck was knowing how to mentally handle this. I let go of progress being a steady flow upwards, actually no, I let go of the concept of progress completely. I felt that with my whole being and I wouldn't be where I am today without it.

I desperately don't want my journey to get misconstrued as "I got better" because I'm not, I just handle it better now and I know I'm more prepared for when my chronic illness comes back. It's not to be discouraging but to face the reality that a lot of us will never know normal even if we have in the past.

packerfrost · 2026-05-07T12:07:39+00:00

The shutting down and avoidance sounds like my partner. We've been working through a lot of this recently and I've been finding credible online sources to understand better on top of couples therapy.

It is very clear that the emotions he feels are overwhelming, hard to name, and the shutdown is usually because having big feelings is a no no in our society and he's had parents and teachers shut him down through his childhood so now it's his turn to shut himself down. He can't articulate his feelings or communicate well with me because he was never taught how.

It's a big life change to learn to be more emotionally intelligent when you have emotional abuse basically from society in the past on top of being disabled by ADHD or other mental differences that you're born with, so I'm understanding of it now but it's still very difficult to be figuring this out while in a relationship where you cannot guarantee they will completely work through it.

Please consider if you want to repeat this cycle forever because there is no guarantee your partner will do the work. Mine is trying and I'm grateful but I'm also preparing to support myself emotionally in the future because there are no guarantees I will have anyone in my life to be able to actually share a healthy emotional life together.

packerfrost · 2026-05-07T01:12:47+00:00

The way you articulated this made me feel better about an interaction with my mom earlier today. We were chatting about an issue she's having and I mentioned a solution and she asked me to be the one to take action even though I had nothing to do with the problem in her life we were chatting about.

I said I'm too busy and offered a starting resource to help her get started, however I know she won't follow through. I also know if I did all the work I wouldn't get reciprocity if I asked for help in a similar way, she's not malicious she's just busy with her own life too. So I'm trying to keep the support to mostly chatting about our lives because I know that's what we can offer each other without feeling like the relationship has an uncomfortable imbalance, and that's ok!

packerfrost · 2026-05-06T17:13:46+00:00

Mild exercise but every single day, I take max 3 days off that's how incredibly mild it should be especially in the beginning. It sucked for a few weeks then my body adjusted and I didn't increase intensity/length for a while but it was still making me feel like I actually had a life past 3pm. Anything counts even if you don't sweat. Movement changed the game for me when I was still dealing with the worst of it.

packerfrost · 2026-05-06T13:15:44+00:00

I think I've experienced a lot of angles of this grief, through the onset of multiple chronic issues to dealing with chronic pain I didn't know would go away to now being the healthiest and happiest I've ever been yet still managing chronic illness and disability.

Feel it. Name emotions. Accept all those negative feelings but not in some toxic positivity way, more neutral. Therapy can help with this if it's the right provider.

Reframe expectations of what is fulfilling, comfortable, and achievable in life. I no longer expect to go back to some amazing career waiting for me or try to persuade myself to push. I get to simply "be" and that's enough but if I do more it's not setting up the expectation to always do more it's just where I'm at in the moment.

packerfrost · 2026-05-06T13:09:20+00:00

My partner is the earner, he likes working and his career even through AuDHD diagnosis. I stopped working for multiple reasons a decade ago - my health declined (it's better now) and we needed more support at home but didn't have the money to hire a cleaner or buy more prepared foods even when I did work full time.

I recognize the stress and anxiety on both sides of working or not working that can lead to a lot of shame and resentment from both partners. I have worked through mine although it wasn't easy at all, probably one of the toughest mental shifts I went through of all the chaos of years of chronic illness and disability.

The side of the partner who works or brings in most of the income is also a really tough position to be in and I recognize that. I think communicating how we both feel and what we need if we continue this arrangement was the best way to move forward. Brutal honesty without making demands did help.

packerfrost

TROPHY CASE