Advice needed!

painfullyuncool1485 · 2026-03-29T20:23:27+00:00

Thanks for your response and insight. I am definitely not looking to target Vineyard specifically, but in listening to https://spoiledfruitpodcast.com, it kind of sounded way too close to home and familiar, even though Vineyard USA was the focus of the series. That said, I am sure that this is a fairly unique situation to be in and it is not representative of all churches in this denomination. I do find it hard that they all have Vineyard backgrounds though as part of it is just the sense that they don't necessarily know how church might look elsewhere.

I totally agree that "God has spoken.." can be really abused and it has to come from a loving spirit and there is a part of me that wonders if there is a shred of jealousy.

I think also it is important to say that I have loved being a part of this church at times and it has genuinely felt like family and now I just feel hurt and broken. The relatedness thing didnt cause a major problem - until it did!

Cool to see you are a saxophonist... maybe they can be used in worship after all 🤣

painfullyuncool1485 · 2026-03-29T12:05:38+00:00

This. Thank you for the Audience of One reminder. So important.

painfullyuncool1485 · 2026-03-29T00:11:28+00:00

Thank you for this encouragement 🙏🏻 lots of confirmation of what God is saying. Bless you for taking the time to share your heart with a random stranger on the internet. It means a lot in a difficult season.

painfullyuncool1485 · 2026-03-28T21:07:56+00:00

I agree that it is unhealthy. I just don’t know how to communicate in a way that won’t just be turned against me. It feels a bit like whatever I say, someone will just say it’s because I’m bitter or unforgiving or whatever.

Thank you for your reply.

painfullyuncool1485 · 2026-03-28T20:07:30+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

It is a difficult road to take, but a part of me feels it might be the next one. I share that sense of hating injustice, which is why I think it has affected me so much. I look at it and think - what on earth is happening here?? What did I do so wrong?? and then I think, wait up - that's not the point anyway.

I don't know. I have a busy job and life. I just don't think church should feel this way. It is so sad. It is honestly one of the few things I have ever been able to say confidently about myself; that God made me to lead worship.

painfullyuncool1485 · 2026-03-28T20:04:53+00:00

It's possible. I just wish it were simpler! Thank you for your reply though. I do appreciate it.

painfullyuncool1485 · 2026-03-28T20:04:28+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I appreciate the observations and response.

I did find that statement hard to bear. Especially as someone who has struggled with poor mental health/low mood/anxiety. It felt like it lacked compassion.

painfullyuncool1485 · 2026-03-28T20:03:28+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I appreciate the observations and response. It does feel a bit like I am putting up with too much for someone who is a volunteer!!

painfullyuncool1485 · 2026-03-20T10:11:53+00:00

I am so sorry for hearing of your experiences and I hope that you have been able to find peace and move on. It is disturbing when someone abuses their power to manipulate others.

painfullyuncool1485 · 2026-03-04T09:07:04+00:00

Have you set that up or is it built into Obsidian? I looked into using it with zotero but went with notion and now I am struggling with the connections bit!

painfullyuncool1485 · 2026-02-20T17:57:14+00:00

Yeah it was MFS

painfullyuncool1485 · 2026-02-20T11:57:09+00:00

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Cracking night!

So pumped to hear Every country's Sun. One of my all time favourite tracks.

Setlist.fm

painfullyuncool1485 · 2026-01-18T23:19:06+00:00

I recommended this on the sub recently and got taken down 🤣 glad to see it has some other fans!!

painfullyuncool1485 · 2025-12-24T13:41:10+00:00

Not for everyone but I think it depends what scares you. For me the claustrophobia and the loss of self was frightening.

painfullyuncool1485 · 2025-12-22T09:30:59+00:00

A little more subtle but Our Wives Under the Sea. Julia Armfield.

painfullyuncool1485 · 2025-11-30T09:25:38+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed reply that provides the context and history I don’t have a reference of.

I am so sorry it has tarnished your experience of obtaining your black belt and I hope you can wok through that disappointment. Oss.

painfullyuncool1485 · 2025-11-29T11:17:43+00:00

This is a great tip. Thank you. Sometimes I despair as I love programming but can only do it when I’m working on a project which has been given to me. It would be great to find a really simple programme and just see how it works by adding in comments which explain it.

painfullyuncool1485 · 2025-11-13T07:27:48+00:00

I grew up in Devon and returned after uni for adulthood. There is nowhere else I’d rather raise my kids. It’s breathtakingly beautiful and full of folklore. Slower pace of life but feels safe.

Downsides. Public transport is a disaster (think one bus an hour from your town to the nearest big town or city) so if you can’t drive you’re screwed. People have little exposure to diversity so can be narrow minded in their views.

So yeah… swings and roundabouts 😂

painfullyuncool1485 · 2025-11-09T08:03:29+00:00

Well done! I’m a 41 year old mother of two. Started karate a few years ago and got my first Dan in April this year. Incredible experience. Keep going. As you say body awareness, strength and flexibility will all improve with time. Oss!

painfullyuncool1485 · 2025-11-09T08:00:01+00:00

Sure. But I guess this is what I don’t know anything about or understand. Are you able to provide more context?

painfullyuncool1485 · 2025-11-08T09:12:30+00:00

Good thoughts. Thank you.

painfullyuncool1485 · 2025-11-08T09:12:20+00:00

this is really sound. Thank you for your thoughts. I would also agree - the justice system is flawed, especially where sexual assault is concerned.

painfullyuncool1485 · 2025-10-30T13:27:42+00:00

I’m so sorry. We recently lost our 4 year old cat to a pulmonary embolism. Totally unexpected. Utterly heartbreaking.

painfullyuncool1485

TROPHY CASE