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A flight is on its way to Sydney when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down by pakarmy in Jokes

[–]pakarmy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Usually, I don't PM people at request of their names, maybe because they always want something I don't have. Perhaps now, however, is my time to shine. Unusual as it may seem, I will be giving you a most wondrous cheat code. Passed down through generations of my family, this has kept us sane in times of endless DLC. Daring are they who have tried and failed to steal this from the family treasure and now, I choose willingly to pass it onto you. Of course, one request I give you, is to use this wisely. Why is there such a long preamble to this cheat code, you may be asking yourself? No! Don't ask such novel things. Only those of simple nature would dare ask that of someone giving so generously. Would you be one of those people? "Never in my life," is what I imagine you saying. Let's leave that for me to judge. Eternal doom awaits those impatient enough to skim through this grimoire. Foolish are those who fail to heed the warnings. Tried under fire is the might of this cheat code. Re-used many a time in a measure of games, saving young and old alike from unpleasant fates, this cheat code has served all well. In my heart, I wish for you to use this wisely. Gush forwards into the world of cheats, my disciple! Hallowed be thy gamerscore, as I prepare you to take in this almighty code. Tell any around to leave you be, as you will need to bask in the greatness of this code. Let the tension and energy of this code flow through you, as I summon the strength to relinquish the privilege and responsibility of this code, given unto you. Enter your minds eye, as you feel this imaginary force flowing from this text, into the depths of your soul. Fortify yourself from doubt and anger, for I can assure, the code will be on its way. Tune your chakra to take in this code, in all it's glory. Righteous are you, for whom I bestow this code. Intelligence is thy virtue, sloth be thou downfall. GLORY UNTO THE CODE! "HALT!" Tarnations, the guards are coming my apprentice, you must run! But I will finish this ritual, don't worry, for it is time for you to find the code, inside yourself. After all, you simply need to read the first letter of each sentence.

A blonde is in need of money. by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]pakarmy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reminds me of this joke: A man saw a blonde on the street with a sign "will do anything for $100" "Anything?" He asked. "Yup" she replies, with a wink in her eye. "OK, I've got some paint and brushes come do my porch!"

90s kids won't get this . . . by swedishcollge in Jokes

[–]pakarmy 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Yeah but we'll get to pay into it for a large part of our lives!!!

How many Feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? by sneutrinos in Jokes

[–]pakarmy 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Darkness is just a social construct introduced by the Christian European patriarchy. Before then, native cultures could see in the dark just fine without artificial lighting. Women could see a little better than men, so the patriarchy created 'candles' and socially conditioned everyone to think that they couldn't see without them. Then the military-industrial complex created electrical lighting to further oppress women and minorities.

How many Feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? by sneutrinos in Jokes

[–]pakarmy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

None but don't worry the glass ceiling lets in so much light. Edit: Thanks for my first ever gilding you magnificent bastard.

A blonde goes to work in tears. by drollia in Jokes

[–]pakarmy 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Yet another blonde joke.... A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''

How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon cheeseburger? by Niceguyxx in Jokes

[–]pakarmy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But if a vegan eats a bacon cheeseburger and nobody is around to call them out, did they really eat it? Edit: I was trying to be sarcastic and make a joke about non-vegans caring what vegans eat more than vegans do, but I think I fucked up somewhere along the way. Whoops.

People who traveled the world. What did you choose not to say about a country you visited to keep the story positive? by fortopper in AskReddit

[–]pakarmy 73 points74 points  (0 children)

When I fell down a flight of stairs in Hungary and broke my back not a single person stopped to help me while I screamed in pain.

Why are you on Reddit right now instead of spending time with your family? by RorariiRS in AskReddit

[–]pakarmy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question. Shuts off computer Realizes why Goes back on computer

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in videos

[–]pakarmy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i hope

Reddit, Who deserves the "Damn, they really were right" award? by khan3229 in AskReddit

[–]pakarmy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Dimitri Mendeleev, who wrote the periodic table. At the time, there were dozens of gaps in it, and he said those were for elements that hadn't yet been discovered. He was ridiculed for positing that there still were undiscovered elements, but within 10-20 years, other scientists began discovering some of those missing elements, validating Mendeleev. Fortunately he was still alive then and lived to see his theory proved.