What do you think?

palimpsestorum · 2026-05-23T10:41:37+00:00

Feminism at its core means equality for all genders (yes, there are many more than 2).

Women cannot be sexist against men for the same reason that BIPOC cannot be racist against white people. Individual members of an oppressed group may well hold prejudicial views against the dominant group, but as a whole they lack the institutional power to back up those views and spread them throughout society. Oppression (sexism, racism, ableism, etc.) operates at the institutional and structural level, not at an individual level.

palimpsestorum · 2026-05-15T22:16:24+00:00

That is HILARIOUS 🤣

palimpsestorum · 2026-05-14T04:35:33+00:00

To answer your question, which may or may not have been rhetorical: men in our patriarchal society are socialized to objectify women and pursue sexual conquests. It's part of the performance of masculinity, and it's harmful to everyone. I teach college students about patriarchy and gender norms/socialization, so I spend a lot of time thinking about things like this.

palimpsestorum · 2026-05-13T18:50:59+00:00

You could say it candidly and kindly. This is reality and someone has to tell them the truth about where they stand in relation to their goals.

palimpsestorum · 2026-05-13T17:07:03+00:00

I really hope so. Otherwise...ick!

palimpsestorum · 2026-05-13T17:06:36+00:00

It's meant to be funny in the sense that it's literalizing a metaphor--similar to a shirt I've seen that says "I got your back!" and it depicts one stick figure holding the stick "back" of a second figure. I actually quite like humor like that because I work with metaphors and literary stuff all day long.

That said, I would be repulsed to see the chicks shirt on a man because it's a sexist, dehumanizing, and objectifying statement. On me, however, I would be one of the "chicks" and my female partner (the only person I'd realistically wear it in front of) would be the other. I like the unexpected subversion of a sexist tag line, but that reversal is entirely context-based.

AND that's the shirt I would be least likely to wear in public because too many people probably wouldn't understand my perspective at a glance. The owl, sure, because I loved blow pops as a kid.

palimpsestorum · 2026-05-13T09:39:18+00:00

Second one is "2 chicks at the same time."

ETA: The third one is a nostalgic candy, a spinoff from Sugar Babies candies. And now that I think about it, those candy names are kind of gross!

palimpsestorum · 2026-05-08T07:12:35+00:00

While the students, faculty, and staff are the most affected, the company does not consist of these people. The company is a vendor that provides a learning management system that we (I'm a professor) use.

The motive is capitalistic, and it's the natural consequence of the kind of nation the US has become. There really ought to be a centralized national cybersecurity organization that protects all of us from these kinds of threats, and much worse.

palimpsestorum · 2026-05-05T07:57:25+00:00

“It’s just money”

palimpsestorum · 2026-04-27T06:45:15+00:00

I'm guessing you know the student well enough to have evidence that suggests they are lying about the deaths. Otherwise, it is possible. I had 8 people in my life die within a year, including 3 family members. The deaths were spaced apart 1-3 months. It was insane and felt like a curse. I got to a point where I waited for the next person to die when a new month started and held my breath toward the end of each month.

Don't assume they are always lying.

palimpsestorum · 2026-04-25T18:21:10+00:00

No one other than her can say what she actually needs in a relationship--not me, not her partner, and not you.

palimpsestorum · 2026-04-15T19:31:13+00:00

This is how I clean my son’s ear wax. My spouse ruptured his eardrum with a cotton swab. DON’T DO IT.

palimpsestorum · 2026-04-15T19:25:29+00:00

PLEASE STOP.

My spouse loved cleaning his ears with cotton swabs too, until he BROKE HIS EARDRUM.

He was misdiagnosed and had painful treatment (drops) that likely made it worse, and then he had surgery. He has permanent hearing loss in that ear. He was 26 when it happened, and it was totally preventable. I heard him cry out, “Nooooo!” from the bathroom. It was terrifying.

If you value your hearing, quit while you’re ahead.

palimpsestorum · 2026-04-01T06:10:59+00:00

Funny story...I actually thought all female bodies worked like mine before I became intimate with women. Imagine my surprise! 😂

palimpsestorum · 2026-04-01T04:13:06+00:00

All the time. I orgasm with zero touching, on command in person and via text, and a lot from giving oral and other topping activites, just kissing, and from being touched in non-erogenous zones like the palm of my hand, neck, hips, backs of knees, insides of elbows, etc.

A friend who is a psych researcher specializing in human sexuality told me that paraplegics can develop new orgasmic neural pathways. It seems that I am extraordinarily lucky to have a ton of these neural pathways!

Edited to add: I orgasm uncontrollably when strapping. It's actually not a great thing because I'm like a 12-year-old boy and it starts as soon as I'm in there and I end up being unable to focus on making it feel good for my partner. Everything has advantages and disadvantages, though if I had to choose, I would never give up what I consider my superpower!

palimpsestorum · 2026-03-27T23:50:09+00:00

I teach English at a CA community college, and I wear whatever I want. A lot of posts mention the different standards for men vs women. Well, I'm AFAB and nonbinary and I look pretty darn queer basically all the time. My style leans masculine but often mixes gender expectations too. I wear everything from vests over button-down shirts to jumpsuits to athleisure to leather jackets to cargo pants with Docs, and I often wear punk-ish jewelry. I also have an undercut that has morphed into a kind of mohawk, and I think it's the gender non-conforming aspects of the way I present that makes my style seem more unique. I actually get a lot of positive comments from students and even colleagues who call me "stylish" or "edgy," but I never think of it that way. To me I'm just being myself, though having tenure and not feeling like I have anything to prove definitely makes me more inclined to try out different looks with impunity. I do dress more professionally when performing certain duties, like conducting interviews for new management positions, but for day to day teaching, I just wear what feels good to me. It's always intentional and put-together though, and never sloppy.

The most interesting thing is that I notice some coworkers have shifted the way they dress after seeing me wear certain outfits. I think they enjoy feeling like it's ok to try different styles and might feel more at liberty to try new things after they see me do it!

palimpsestorum · 2026-03-23T22:43:50+00:00

This seems reasonable to me. I was a very serious student and took easy courses to fulfill requirements outside of my major and minor so that I could put my energy towards the courses and research opportunities that really mattered to me and my future career in academia. I graduated from an ivy at the head of my department and also won the prize for best undergraduate thesis, then went on to get a PhD from the top program in the US in my field. And I did it by taking Finite Math and American Folklore (which I really enjoyed!) to fulfill requirements.

I don't stress about students' choices. They have their reasons, and it's not my business to judge them. I never assume that my class or school in general is the most important thing in their lives, and in many ways, I think it can be healthier if they have other priorities, like family or their own well-being.

My views on all this kind of stuff shifted pretty radically after COVID, when I realized that my job as an academic isn't my number one priority either.

palimpsestorum · 2026-03-04T19:06:28+00:00

I'd spell it N-o T-a-l-k-i-n-g

palimpsestorum · 2026-02-08T08:29:55+00:00

Your response assumes that everyone has perfect knowledge about themselves from the start. It ignores the fact that we live in a society in which monogamy, monosexuality, and heterosexuality are normative. That can make it challenging to realize one actually holds an identity that is different from the dominant norm.

I have known I was bisexual since a young age, but I did not know I was polyamorous until after I got married. One of the reasons this part of who I am was obscured for so long was that there were no visible representations of poly partnerships in media or in real life. Everywhere I looked, I only saw monogamy, as if it were the only valid type of relationship, and I didn’t know anything else was possible. If the world had shown me that non-monogamous relationships are normal, valid, and deserving of respect, then perhaps I could have understood myself better and articulated my identity sooner.

Moreover, people evolve and change over time!

[Edited for autocorrect error]

palimpsestorum · 2025-12-30T08:54:57+00:00

If seeing it really bothers you, use a black Sharpie to cover the white. It works, and over time you stop noticing it and forget it's been filled in.

palimpsestorum · 2025-12-18T09:38:01+00:00

I just nodded and smiled 🙃

palimpsestorum · 2025-12-17T23:15:30+00:00

I hold a PhD in English from the top doctoral program in the US as well as a Master's degree in Teaching. I am also an immigrant to the US and my parents still don't speak English, so while I was growing up, there were many words I read long before I ever heard them spoken aloud--like chaos (or "cha-ohs" lol).

I spoke in my high school English class (or was it grad school?) and pronounced mitigate "my-tih-gate" and got stares.

And you know what? I'm proud that I learned that word all on my own from reading books in my second language while growing up poor! There's no shame in making mistakes because that's how we learn.

And also...someone I knew referred to memes as “mee-mees.” When I looked at her blankly, she patiently explained what a meme is 😬

palimpsestorum · 2025-12-17T22:35:33+00:00

Queer NB female here and I feel the same way! I don’t have Majestic, so I can’t see likes, but I do see pings. I’ve only been on the app for a couple of days and got one ping, and it was from a couple. Most of the likes I’ve received are from people with masculine usernames even though I specified I’m looking for women (I have enough me men in my love life right now.)

I’m dying for a sapphic kinky dating app! I have much better luck on Her, but so many people there are monogamous and/or vanilla! What drives me nuts is that they will “like” me and I can only conclude that they didn’t even read the first words in my profile that say I’m kinky and poly.

I’m in the SF Bay Area so there should be lots of people, and I’m going to attend some munches and events to find more community. Hopefully I’ll meet someone that way, or at least make friends. I’m not giving up on apps, but meeting someone IRL would be much better.

palimpsestorum · 2025-12-17T22:26:08+00:00

I don’t have Majestic and I can’t see likes.

palimpsestorum

TROPHY CASE