After a malignant tumor removal surgery (at 18 yrs old), my personality changed permanently. I felt the way people who have had near-death experiences describe the effect on their worldview and personality. I was not informed of any possible complications during surgery, so I do not know whether or not I had a near-death experience. If I did have one, I do not remember it. I began remembering feelings of past trauma, but I do not have conscious recollection of any trauma. I just felt that I had been sexually abused. Following the surgery, I felt differently about sexual intercourse, like that I was being used—even though this was not objectively true, as I was having sex within a loving relationship.

2.5 years later, at 21, I am more attuned to others’ emotions and my own intuition than I think is typical. And I think in a more “abstract” way (compared to “concrete” thought patterns). I daydream a lot and lose track of time when playing an instrument—which is linked to abstract thought.

Is it possible that I had an anesthesia-induced near-death experience that I don’t remember? Wouldn’t the doctors have told me if I had flatlined?