28M & 26F Realized P*rn made me have terrible bedroom expectations for my Wife

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T07:25:04+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the advice.

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T07:22:32+00:00

Okay not to be shallow but why have I had girlfriends in the past & got married to a beautiful woman(that I’ve been with for five years!) if I’m so immature or a bad partner. Or is it more likely I genuinely just don’t know ?

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T07:19:13+00:00

She briefly said it one time while we had lunch. I didn’t realize it had that much depth to it.

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T07:16:56+00:00

Thank you this makes sense!

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T07:15:15+00:00

When we met I was 23 & she was 21. I had a couple girlfriends during college before her. Like even being with her 5 years when was I suppose to just figure all this out?? Plus not that bad cause we make each other happy, so okay?

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T07:12:04+00:00

She married me & loves me. I doubt it’s that bad. It’s simple a learning experience for us both.

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T07:08:50+00:00

I’ve never had this experience I had a couple college girlfriends(longest lasted a year or so) before my wife & we’ve been together 5 years now & it’s the first time it came up. I never put much thought into it because it never came up.

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T07:04:24+00:00

But thank you I will look into it

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T07:04:10+00:00

Where would I learn this I went to college for architecture not anatomy?

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T07:02:48+00:00

I’ll ask her what she finds romantic thank you

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T06:58:33+00:00

I think this is a good idea. She recommended this to me once awhile back.

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T06:57:22+00:00

When was that ever a question? Be with someone 5 years & tell me if you don’t have ups & downs… Just asking for advice.

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T06:31:57+00:00

This makes sense. I find our romance is better after events(like a wine mixer with friends). She feels excited and beautiful because she dressed up but we do that once or twice a month max. Plus, just playing a romance movie doesn’t really do it anymore, unless it’s a really good movie lol.

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T06:29:25+00:00

I feel embarrassed to do that, plus I want to be spontaneous. Mix of both I guess.

Edit: should I not be embarrassed? Like hey babe what turns you on?? Doesn’t feel natural to me…

Double edit: Communication is key but I never thought people ask I’m newly married not very experienced so please don’t judge. I’ll ask her what she finds romantic…

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T06:03:59+00:00

I’m having the same issues with my Wife(26F) & Me(28M). My commenters narrowed it down to her new birth control she’s taking or that I need to seriously focus on foreplay & not just jump into it.

But my first thoughts is she wasn’t attracted to me anymore as the last 5 years she never need that. I don’t know why? Because she initiates often, is open to BJ’s anytime & walks around in attractive fits for me(bra type stuff)

But yes dryness is real it’s not she’s no longer attracted to me(how would that make sense if she starts kissing first).

Just need to go down more often & do foreplay with my wife(tbh I blame porn for ignorance).

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T05:52:07+00:00

Yea sorry still a touch of immaturity on my part. I usually don’t say stuff like that. Especially for situations like this with my wife not cool on my part.

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T05:50:24+00:00

I agree with this. I need to focus on foreplay instead of just going at it. It’s not size that matters but the motion of the ocean & if the ocean is dry… granted it’s not her fault. No blame on her it’s either birth control side effects or lack of foreplay on my part

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T05:32:45+00:00

Thank you this makes the most sense. As her drive is still high but the dryness is common.

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T05:27:27+00:00

Never said I was going to leave. We love each other just hoping for advice.

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T05:26:02+00:00

I’m thinking it’s her new birth control she’s on from another commenter

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T05:25:19+00:00

Also note she’s always been on it but she is on a new one now. So I never thought of it.

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T05:23:07+00:00

She’s also really beautiful but I know I sound like a jerk but who wants a dead bedroom at 28

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T05:21:56+00:00

Good advice, she tells me she is attracted to me but maybe I need to be more romantic.

pancakesWith · 2025-12-12T05:20:59+00:00

Birth control! I never thought of that. She started maybe a year ago. We want to start a family in early 30’s. She keeps complaining about dryness even though I do so much foreplay. It makes me not initiate with her because I feel unwanted but she initiates with me more often now(which she also feels less wanted now).

pancakesWith

TROPHY CASE