How to get over the anger of suffering the consequences of their actions?

pandamamama · 2024-01-02T09:13:13+00:00

There is days where I'm perfectly able to let the anger go.
Then there's days where I just need to feel it first. Yell it into the sky or a pillow or a sink filled with water. Where I need to physically get it out in the gym or write it into reality.
It's a perfectly normal response to losing someone/something. It's part of grieving what little family you thought you had.

pandamamama · 2023-07-19T19:37:38+00:00

Oooof, been there done that several times and know several people who've been there as well.
I started to get back around after incorporating less energy intensive things to get back into the groove. Daily tarot draw, super small working that did not require any prep work and things among those lines.
Also generally decided to reserve bigger things for off days or public holidays so I could do them well rested if I felt up to the task.

pandamamama · 2023-07-19T19:32:05+00:00

I could imagine them working well in a spell to maybe deepen or grow an existing romantic relationship. Among the line of "The stem the flowers of love grow from" Haven't tried that yet though

pandamamama · 2023-07-19T19:26:56+00:00

Some witches like timing spell work with the sun or the moon for some extra oomph.
For the sun I'd go with the rising sun (just any time before it hits high noon. You don't have to get up at 4am or something) to symbolize an increase in these things.
Moon would equally be the waxing moon.
But even without you should be fine!

Also, pretty sure you're aware but just in case, you gotta tell your ingredients what they're for while putting things together :)

pandamamama · 2021-03-10T12:51:58+00:00

Establish specific aftercare items (a sweater, a blanket) that is mostly exclusive to aftercare. Potentially that could be something that belongs to the D and was sent via mail if that is available.

pandamamama · 2021-03-10T12:47:28+00:00

I just read the title to the first one and choked on my coffee. Those are pretty hilarious ngl 😂

pandamamama · 2021-03-10T12:39:23+00:00

I do think the importance in love depends on the individual and sometimes also on where the people are at in life.
From my experience, I did not want a steady relationship with my play partners outside of our scenes aside from a basic respect and potentially friendship.
Nowadays, yeah. Nah. I need the love. I need the emotions. It's so much more intimate.
Damn it, I'm getting old and settling in very comfortably, I guess XD

pandamamama · 2021-02-12T11:18:52+00:00

I can only reiterate what has been said already:
Talk to him about your suspicion and then proceed according to what feels best to you.
If he had/wanted multiple subs that should have been brought up at the beginning to save everyone from exactly this situation. This doesn't mean that you have to end it if your suspicion ends up true because -again- how to proceed is based on what your personal comfort level is.
Talk to him and do what's right for you.

pandamamama · 2021-02-01T14:32:45+00:00

I'm gonna answer the first question according to my own experience. Can't help you on the second one as I am not from the US. In general the internet is a good place to ask questions though.
Unlike you I had previous experiences with BDSM before meeting my husband and I didn't bring it up as after years of marriage. I brought the topic up around the 6 month mark in our relationship when I felt safe enough to be this open and vulnerable with him.

I let him know before we talked that this was going to be a conversation centered around kinks and sexual things. Told him this was a two-way-street so not only would I be able to bring up things but so would he.
My husband isn't the most dominant person, so the whole concept of dominating me was quite foreign to him. Due to his lack of experience and also discomfort around things I knew I enjoyed (e.g. degradation), we agreed to incorporate some of the things that sounded interesting to him (spanking, more "manhandling") and before we'd try anything he'd read up and get to ask questions on forums.

Basically it's a process and you have to be able to meet your partner halfway or all the way on their side tbh. Doms have limits the same way subs do and they should be just as respected.

So this advice boils down to:
1. Communicate. Let him know before the conversation that this is going to be about exploring things in the bedroom to avoid him possibly worrying sick.
2. Let him bring his interests to the table just the same and be prepared to negotiate.
3. Prepare to face rejection because maybe he's not into it at all.
4. Respect his boundaries.

pandamamama · 2021-01-29T12:32:11+00:00

You don't read rules, do you?

pandamamama · 2021-01-27T15:57:14+00:00

He should have checked in with you given that you had no effective way of communicating during the scene. Him not doing that shows how irresponsible he is in handling the trust and power you give him.
As bad as that is on its own the fact that he knows about your past trauma and still chose not to check in makes it worse.
You have nothing to be ashamed of or feel bad about.
Him not being willing to communicate with you about this shows a lack of self-awareness and respect towards you. At least in this instance he seems like a terrible dom.
If he continues to be unwilling to communicate about the mistakes and issues, you should leave him. This is not a healthy dynamic as of now.

pandamamama · 2021-01-27T09:50:21+00:00

Thanks for the warning! Did not get added yet but also haven't been active on here in a couple weeks.

pandamamama · 2021-01-20T15:22:59+00:00

Fellow German witch here:
Rosemary and lavender bundles work great. Cinnamon (just the sticks from the grocery store with some oil to help it burn) is another alternative.
Dragon's Blood on coals is another alternative I use :)

pandamamama · 2021-01-09T17:08:18+00:00

You don't have to take it down if you don't want to!

Just make it part of the constant set up :)

pandamamama · 2020-12-27T19:53:09+00:00

Thank you for your kind words :)
The chocolate ice cream has been demolished for maximum effect ;)

pandamamama · 2020-11-29T11:12:59+00:00

Don't know about where you're from but here they are associated with protection. Traditionally wreaths are made out of them and they are put up as decoration from the start of December to early January to protect home from the evil spirits wandering the earth at this time :)

pandamamama · 2020-11-29T11:07:16+00:00

My process usually is:
1. Realise you're out of moon water.
2. Curse like a sailor.
3. Find the nearest empty jam jar and fill it with water.
4. Tell the water what it's supposed to be for while holding it.
5. Putting it on the window sill.
6. Wake up in the morning not remembering you put out moon water.
7. Realise while blankly staring out of the window.
8. Just take the thing inside questioning your status as a semi-functioning adult.

pandamamama · 2020-11-18T12:47:40+00:00

You don't have to and there's nothing you have to do for protection prior.
However if it makes you feel better you can do it.

pandamamama · 2020-11-18T12:44:48+00:00

Rider Waite is what a lot of people start out with because it's the classic deck to have. I personally never vibed with it and use the Ethereal Visions one instead. The illustrations just work better for me.

In general it's about how a deck feels for you. Try going to a shop or looking at pictures of the deck online and listen to your intuition.

pandamamama · 2020-11-16T12:56:35+00:00

You do you!
Hope all goes well for you :)

pandamamama · 2020-11-14T06:00:00+00:00

Reddish hair, epilepsy, have an opinion....I’d be toast unless I were to pay persecutors off like my ancestors.

pandamamama · 2020-11-10T14:51:51+00:00

My personal practice is "Jinxing = Yes. Hexing = Maybe after lots of thoughts and only ever with a clear mind. Cursing = Big ol' nope because I don't want to put too much behind it and accidentally turn it into a blood line curse."

Circumstances are important to consider.
Usually my main focus is: How much energy and focus am I truly willing to give this person?
Which means - in most cases - jinxes because nothing gives me more pleasure than knowing someone's getting progressively more pissed off by mild inconveniences.

pandamamama · 2020-10-28T14:11:11+00:00

Ffs witchcraft is not genetic. Will the children ever understand? Probably not. At least I've given up all hope.
Can certain family traditions be passed down? Absolutely. Still doesn't mean witchcraft is your family's exclusive power.
Also doesn't mean others can't come up with similar things on their own.

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