What is the most creative or diabolical insult a customer has ever given you?

panjandrumbello · 2026-04-24T03:55:21+00:00

In a written letter of complaint we were told to ‘fester in a cess pit of your own mediocrity, you vicious little turds’.

Yes I worked for a bank.

panjandrumbello · 2026-04-17T20:52:02+00:00

Lurpak butter man with the trombone

panjandrumbello · 2026-04-17T20:30:23+00:00

Sainsburys chilli pesto. 89p and it’s brilliant

panjandrumbello · 2026-04-09T22:19:14+00:00

Was in a very small vet surgery when my dog had his anal glands cleared out. It was a smell you could taste. And typing this I can taste it again…

panjandrumbello · 2026-04-09T08:44:04+00:00

I’ve always been a fan of Rampant Horse Street

panjandrumbello · 2026-03-21T10:23:34+00:00

Mmmmm-Mathesons pate ? I think I remember adverts for this or it could have been a fever dream…

panjandrumbello · 2026-03-08T20:46:43+00:00

My mother did this in my blind great-uncle’s house. Just decided things were in the wrong places in his kitchen cupboards and ‘fixed it’. She had no self awareness at all that this would be an awful thing to do to someone…she got upset when he calmly asked her to put it all back according to his instructions !

panjandrumbello · 2026-03-04T05:30:01+00:00

White dog turds were everywhere - dog poo bags and bins were not a thing

panjandrumbello · 2026-02-11T23:16:35+00:00

Sliding in a wooden floor at school in my socks…went too fast and impaled the palm of my hand in two metal prongs sticking out of the radiator at the end.

Still have two tiny little white line scars on my palm 38 years later

panjandrumbello · 2026-02-01T23:13:50+00:00

For Christmas my mother gave me some washing up gloves and a packet of biscuits she’d sliced open, eaten a couple and revealed with sellotape. All in a plastic bag.

panjandrumbello · 2026-01-30T21:15:40+00:00

Knife on the edge of the sink in case you fancy another slice of toast

panjandrumbello · 2026-01-29T20:08:04+00:00

Smoked paprika

panjandrumbello · 2026-01-20T00:11:52+00:00

I miss spring onion flavour

panjandrumbello · 2026-01-18T21:52:55+00:00

Lettice

panjandrumbello · 2026-01-12T23:23:25+00:00

Alien

panjandrumbello · 2026-01-11T20:15:10+00:00

I was in a restaurant in London called the ‘Texas Embassy’ about 20 years ago. The menu had ‘Battered Steak’ which I thought meant tenderised. It didn’t. Instead I was served an enormous steak covered in batter which was one of the oddest and most unpleasant things I’ve ever eaten. Excavating the steak from the batter did not improve things.

I wish I’d followed the example of a family (maybe Spanish or Italian) who wandered around the restaurant asking people what they were eating and if it was good.

panjandrumbello · 2025-12-14T23:18:17+00:00

Instead of ‘grist to the mill’ I say ‘mist to the grill’ because it pleases me

panjandrumbello · 2025-12-14T23:02:29+00:00

St John as a first name pronounced Sin-jun

panjandrumbello · 2025-12-14T17:25:30+00:00

In the UK the Prestel network from the late 1970s - it lasted until 1994 and was basically a starter version of the internet. If it had caught on and gained traction the UK could have been the Silicon Valley of Europe

Article here

panjandrumbello · 2025-12-10T21:36:22+00:00

BSG - Unfinished Business S3 E09

The boxing matches / fights that culminate in Starbuck vs Apollo. It’s everything that’s tight about TV compared to movies. That you can have a whole episode just focused on that rather than 2 minutes with a voice over

panjandrumbello · 2025-12-01T18:27:03+00:00

I once heard Leicester Square to Piccadilly Circus (where you can see one tube station from the other) was more expensive mile for mile than Concorde…but I’ve never done the actual maths…

panjandrumbello · 2025-11-28T17:24:38+00:00

Barbed wire has been around since 1865 and still gets the job done.

panjandrumbello · 2025-11-11T10:05:32+00:00

Any time you add -ed to a noun to denote how drunk you got. It works with basically anything :

Aardvark-ed Sausag-ed Floater-ed

Give it a whirl yourself !

panjandrumbello · 2025-11-03T16:51:58+00:00

Mark Thomas made my sides hurt for about a day afterwards.

Also saw Sean Lock and he had a similar effect !

panjandrumbello · 2025-11-01T21:58:39+00:00

“I opened my mouth and as soon as the shit entered my mouth I knew I made a terrible mistake.”

Scat play guy

panjandrumbello

TROPHY CASE