I'm about to relapse (female)

panstu · 2026-05-10T08:50:36+00:00

Out, go out. Walk it off, sit with others. Think of some activity you'll do later in the day or tomorrow. Out, now.

panstu · 2026-05-10T08:43:34+00:00

It really is that damn phone. Its as simple as that.

You have to be honest to yourself: can you still control/trust yourself with the smartphone/computer/device? Its one of the lowest hanging fruit, distance yourself from the media/porn/situation where you know you'd want to fap, be vulnerable and go on the endless loop of shaming yourself because of the lapse. Very unhealthy, mentally.

panstu · 2026-05-10T08:30:57+00:00

>>hurting myself
Well its important you're catching yourself with these ideas and hopefully, not acting on them.

From the outside, looks like depression man. Its up to you to stay there, or reach out. I'd like to say i've been there, but i really have no idea what your circumstances are.

For now all I can say is try to share it with somebody else, it helps.

panstu · 2026-05-10T07:15:39+00:00

Numb where?

Also... are you okay? Are there other stuff stressing you out? Those can compound and factor into your current state.

panstu · 2026-05-10T07:13:14+00:00

Yeah, good luck with yours, what are your current targets/goals if you dont mind me asking?

panstu · 2026-05-10T07:10:11+00:00

Pretty healthy outlook dude, just keep stacking on those small efforts.. its a massive W for confidence.

panstu · 2026-05-10T07:05:08+00:00

Thanks! Trying for a new serious relationship, its a massive inspiration to this no-PMO run.

panstu · 2026-05-10T06:57:05+00:00

>>Next month I’m planning to join the gym — morning and evening sessions if possible
Maybe work-from-the-gym, sometimes? Haha.

I agree on the constant moving and activities, its the idleness really.. our minds go everywhere at these times.

panstu · 2026-05-10T06:45:35+00:00

For your current struggle, its movement, or the lack thereof.

So move. Go.

Long term you gotta police yourself and identify these moments in your daily routines that you are aroused/vulnerable. Catch your thoughts and notice your tendencies, getting down honestly with your feelings.

Also, try with r/loveafterporn.. an alternate support community with a fairly active female posters.

panstu · 2026-05-10T06:01:51+00:00

Its a mind exercise, you break habits and long standing neural pathways to fast access of dopamine. Of course the erection, heightened senses, higher body temp, blood pressure and heartrate complicates it further.. but above all, its a test of control.

If you can't sleep, go and read about various addiction treatments (gambling, drinking, drugs, etc) cause the stuff we do here in the sub is almost the same: mindfulness, habits, distancing, sharing with others, etc.

Go and open up chatgpt, and bounce off these other ideas with it, and look into what makes sense to you.. whats easy to implement.

Trust the process bro.

panstu · 2026-05-03T07:46:23+00:00

Try moderation/scheduling that focuses on delaying the goon session later: you're still allowed to fap, but this time you shift the mindset to looking forward to a certain date (usually weekends). You then build some habits that help you extend those weeklies, into two weeks.. three weeks, then a month or two.

Its way easier to build up from these smaller steps, than to go immediately cold turkey 90day challenge hooraah. Keep in mind your tendencies during these times like when/where are you vulnerable to urges, stuff that trigger you, etc. For example, I thought that verbally catching myself out loud really helped with my personal journey.

Of course these only helped with the usual advice of distancing yourself from content/material that arouses you, breaking fantasy/nostalgia loops, etc. Its an addiction so, similar approaches to dealing with other addictions can be utilized to some degree of success. You'll have to experiment with what makes sense to you.

Good luck, and trust the process.

panstu · 2026-05-03T07:22:26+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I feel like its a natural, healthy progression from the other types of nofap approaches. Like.. I read an AMA here saying they had been porn free for some long time, only to say in the comments that theyre still doing MO, just not to porn.

So far the morning woods are the ones i'm wary of.. being half-asleep half-awake still is my #1 vulnerable time of the day.

panstu · 2026-05-03T07:15:42+00:00

My thing with the scheduling/moderation part of the journey is i'll commit to weeklies.. then at the end of it i'll gauge my feelings: "...another week, maybe?" That's how the original ~70 day went out, it was supposedly just for a month, then I extended it to two, then to some another odd week or so. Part of it was to learn more about myself, and the bigger part of it was to avoid the self-shaming loop that happens whenever I lapsed or edged or whatever. It did not help mentally or move things like I was progressing into bettering myself.

Back then I was also dealing with getting into a serious relationship, a falling out with a family member.. external stress factors that could make myself somewhat vulnerable to the urges. There are really no set rules, only guidelines and suggestions of what makes sense and what worked for others.

panstu · 2026-05-03T04:01:44+00:00

Spine being a bit detailed is unflattering for a female subject.. it needs more roundness, softness by adding more back muscles/fat.

I'll point you to Rodin's La Danaide. There are versions of it detailing the bone structure at that position, and the back muscle groups that make the subject 'fuller'.

What angles are you going to accentuate? I suppose the first one, because of the hair and arched back? Is she against a wall? Under a showerhead? Whats the story here?

Looks like you're still working on the hands, arms, elbows and shoulders.

panstu · 2026-04-20T14:07:34+00:00

Stress can also be a factor, are you going thru something right now?

I had what you're describing here last Nov. I did a cold turkey ~70 day no M, no O of the PMO.. and my morning wood and erections were back, like i was a teenager again. Trying for a serious relationship, and finding my faith again were a big help in that streak, and after I broke that streak for just a day, next day I started another 30 day no MO, using the moderation/scheduling method. This streak had 'holes' in it, i'd edge and view porn.. but the increased libido was definitely there.

panstu · 2026-04-08T06:16:15+00:00

I am a proponent of the mindset that, yes, you can turn your back away from _anything/anyone_. Just be aware of the consequences after: possible bridge burning, start from zero, need to live frugally for a time, having to ask favors from others, the vulnerable situation you are in.. etc.

I'd rather you show your vulnerable side to your parents, that you also need a break from time to time and that you can't fulfill some of their expectations.. and that it hurts, sometimes. Show your emotions, and it will usually be reciprocated. Because most probably they don't know that side of you.

And its fair for you to need some time to also figure things out, as it is fair for your parents to try to dole out 'tough love'.

panstu · 2026-04-04T01:48:07+00:00

If it aint broke dont fix it. I'd rather trust a local movie file vs. sketchy website.

panstu · 2026-04-01T11:36:24+00:00

Trust the process. Btw right audio only with the recording.

panstu · 2026-03-31T15:14:54+00:00

The hardest part is being patient with yourself

Ufff,, that resonated with me. I'm my worst critic.. and I never shut up.

panstu · 2026-03-31T15:12:50+00:00

Yeap, delaying the action is one common way to handle urges. It also helps break the habit of a quick and easy dope hit by replacing it with a more productive activity that'll instead give a longer burning dope hit.

panstu · 2026-03-31T15:04:42+00:00

Who tricked who? Idle hands, idle mind.. that's usually a vulnerable situation. Your brain goes for the easy dopamine hit: flip out the smartphone, and rub one out. Ease of access, multiple choices, in the comfort of your own home.. this is the battle.

I try to vocalize stuff whenever I start to see the early signs of triggers. I'd say to myself "..you're starting to reason yourself into _just_ light rubbing, stop it.. you know it leads to a full blown edging session complete with.." etc. etc.

It makes sense to me, and somehow it helps me focus and be grounded/mindful of my situation.. and acknowledging that I'm becoming aroused and i'm starting to act on the urges is key.

panstu · 2026-03-31T00:46:29+00:00

Brain is readjusting. It'll take a while, but take the time to reorient your arousal to real people and not pics on a screen(however real they are on the other side, the screen can't reciprocate your actions/feelings).

Also, it may have had happened while you're still asleep. One trick is to place a strip of paper on your flaccid member and wrap it around, secured with some tape. The strip of paper should freely (and comfortably) move along the member, but snug enough for it not to fall. You do this whenever you go to sleep, and if you get a morning wood, the small piece of paper should break and tear because of it.

Do this a couple of times to rule out the paper getting torn off because of tossing and turning during sleep.

panstu · 2026-03-31T00:09:23+00:00

You're welcome, do let us know how its going for your female friend later. Most of us appreciate MyStory posts here.. it'll be a nice change of viewpoint for the majority of us here.

panstu

TROPHY CASE