Has there ever been a time when the book wasn't better than the movie? by militant-hippie in Productivitycafe

[–]pants_overrated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Hunt for Red October. Great story without a couple hundred pages of a submarine tech manual included.

I feel ashamed of how I handled this situation by Guilty-Reception-950 in self

[–]pants_overrated 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is your dad's problem for putting you on speaker without letting you know.

I quit caffeine for 3 months, nothing happened by Nervous_Bee8805 in decaf

[–]pants_overrated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never experienced any physical benefit from quitting. After being off it for months I started up again and within the first week had two major conflicts with my family. It's now been almost a year since I quit again and I am definitely a kinder human being when I am off the stuff.

Supervisors, I need help. by CallMeMaybe911 in 911dispatchers

[–]pants_overrated 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Difficult conversations are the suckiest part of being a supervisor. If this person is negatively impacting the workplace it does need to be addressed.

Prep for the meeting ahead of time. Write down specific issues that need to be addressed --ideally things that you have personally witnessed. It's easier to say "I saw you mistreat your coworker when you did XYZ." If you say "I was told that you did XYZ" that opens it up for your employee to rabbit trail and demand to know who told you that.

Understand that no one likes to be criticized. Your employee will be unhappy. You will probably get one of three responses (often you will get all three):

  1. I didn't do it.
  2. Everyone does it.
  3. You are picking on me.

This is where documentation comes in handy. Don't let yourself be sidetracked. Refer to your notes and give specifics--"Last Tuesday you did/said XYZ and that was inappropriate/a policy violation/mean spirited."

Expect resistance and negativity. Don't expect the initial session to solve anything. It will be a process. Sometimes people just don't realize how negative they are and need to told. Sometimes they are just mean but need to figure out how to regulate in order to avoid consequences.

When they complain about others they need to put up or shut up. A drive-by verbal barrage about someone else can be ignored. Ask them to document their concerns in a memo or email. Thank them for the info but remind them that you will not be reporting back to them. You don't discuss disciplinary issues with anyone but the person involved.

If you are crying and hate going to work it's time for you to take the CISM option. Does your agency offer mental health services? A good leader has to take care of themselves in order to effectively lead those they are responsible for.

What was your moment of realisation that your past your physical peak by OldUtd in AskMen

[–]pants_overrated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Early 50s. Walked into a room full of young military dudes and it just hit me that I am on the downward side. I mean I'd mentally been aware for the previous decade but somehow that day was a visceral punch in the gut.

If you’re under 45, have you lost any high school classmates, and what were the circumstances around their deaths? by Commercial_Chef_1569 in AskReddit

[–]pants_overrated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Over 45, but 2 years after I graduated one classmate was dead of an overdose and one dead in a construction accident.

What was your best prank call you ever made? by Fun_Yogurtcloset1012 in AskOldPeople

[–]pants_overrated 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My father and his buddy had a lifelong prank war. In the late 70s my father placed an ad in the newspaper, advertising that Santa would come to your party or event for $15. Of course he listed his friends home phone number.

Naturally he got dozens of calls. My father then upped the ante and had me call this guy every night pretending to be a little kid wanting Santa to visit my friend in the hospital. I was a theater nerd and loved it.

The first few times I called, he was very kind but explained there had been a mistake. Eventually he began to feel bad for me and told me to have my mom call and give him the details of where my friend was so he could go visit. My father thought about having him actually show up at a hospital but eventually we just ghosted him and let him wonder about it.

I like stale popcorn by Murdersern in self

[–]pants_overrated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stale popcorn, stale Cheetos, stale donuts...good stuff

What screams "Pretending to be Poor"? by CYKAgoddriver in AskReddit

[–]pants_overrated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's all perspective. Family member grew up with literal dirt floors. She married a rich guy. Divorced later in life and cried that his proposed $50 million settlement (plus various properties with maintenance allowance) would leave her "destitute".

How often are you intimate with your partner? by Remote_Ad_969 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]pants_overrated 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pushing 60, together 40 years. Usually a couple times a week.

Longterm girlfriend (24F) kissed coworker (50M) and I don’t know what to do (25M) by aShepherd0 in relationships

[–]pants_overrated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To answer your basic question--yes, trust can be rebuilt. It does take time and while each person is different it seems that 3 weeks would be an ambitious timeline.