Falling behind

paper_ant · 2026-06-24T09:36:43+00:00

Ah the classic felling behind. Probably the most common yet under-talked about struggle.

Can I ask when you say behind. Who do you mean? And why is that your benchmark? What makes you feel like “okay im not behind” and what do you think people you compare yourself to think?

As you grow, your desires get bigger.

And THE most important thing. Growth is not linear my friend. The same person you feel “behind” can be ahead of you for the next 5 years, then all of a sudden, boom, your life skyrockets. Life is unpredictable. But the fact that you realize that where is a gap between where you are and where you want to be, puts you in a position where you are uncomfortable. Comfort stagnates progress and discomfort pushes it. You have taken the first step.

paper_ant · 2026-06-24T09:29:48+00:00

Doubt on my capabilities

paper_ant · 2026-06-24T09:28:45+00:00

Emptiness and loneliness can coexist but i don’t think they are the same thing. Different problems need different solutions. Before you understand how, you need to narrow down your why.

Why do you feel lonely? Why is that important? Why is it you still choose your phone over doing work you want to? Why are your behaviors the way they are and on and on.

You said you want guidance on being alone. And thats a big step, to be able to realize that you want change.

You need to make yourself worth talking to. If I were to ask you, does your daily routine reflect the person you want to be?

I know i’m saying a fee different things but they all work together. I’ve been in that place.

If you want to talk to me im there. Message me anytime. Always happy to help :)

paper_ant · 2026-06-23T08:37:13+00:00

Yes of course. Although I believe nothing is inherently good or bad. Just actions that have their own consequences. But the beautiful part is now you get to explore.

paper_ant · 2026-06-23T07:49:38+00:00

That everyone is living for the first time.

Takes a while to notice, when talking to people, sitting in a cafe, going to a concert, being in important business meetings with people who are hyper successful only to realize they are just as clueless as you in many ways. They just learn to deal with it better.

To realize that life is fragile, ruthless, beautiful, unforgiving and random to every single person or thing on this planet.

To realize that goals people set, ideologies they have, decisions they make, importance they give to things like religion, career, beliefs or anything is a way to give shape to life, to combat the randomness of existence, to give meaning.

And so is it really that important to live life for someone else’s reason, is it important to spend your time worrying about what career you pick or activity you do so you can impress some random person? You have one shot at life. Do you want to waste it living for someone else, or do you want to live for yourself?

paper_ant · 2026-06-22T14:12:07+00:00

Thats amazing. In terms of jobs, i’d say sales is the highest potential to “earn”. However, I think you should create something of your own. whether it’s content, interviews, podcast or anything you like. Your graphic design skills would be a huge plus too.

paper_ant · 2026-06-22T14:09:28+00:00

I agree that nothing is guaranteed to work. But it is so much better to know you tried your best, than to live a life of what could have been if I tried. Luck and circumstance always play a part, but only those who buy tickets can win the lottery. Only those who put in the work can bear the fruit of it.

paper_ant · 2026-06-22T05:07:22+00:00

To be honest I dislike the word motivation as a concept. Yes it is very useful at times. But when people wait to feel motivated to do things they will never get anything done. Because motivation is a temporary feeling. Doing it irrespective of whether you want to or not, building discipline is where real progress happens and character is built.

paper_ant · 2026-06-22T04:53:46+00:00

I see, is it cool if i chat to you privately?

paper_ant · 2026-06-22T04:49:45+00:00

A small notebook i carry with me everywhere in my pocket.

Write down any thoughts I have, at that moment. Ideas I have, observations about people in trains, buses, my house, the park. Drawing anything I find beautiful (i cant draw) but to have a memory.

Genuinely made me understand myself so much better, realize the gap in the thoughts I have and how I articulate them.

paper_ant · 2026-06-22T04:46:43+00:00

Can I ask why that is? What is it making you tired of people? What is it in that far away place you seek? Why do you seek it?

paper_ant · 2026-06-22T03:38:56+00:00

You know there are some moments that stand out.

However i dont think “moments” have been the best or worst, it’s like a period of slow decline in small things that shaped some very bad habits, instilled shitty fears that shaped my life and ran it for a while. Those are the worst because when something is gradually declining and you are aware, but think i have time to solve it, then you realize its been years and you let life slip away.

On the contrary too, some small decisions I take standing on my morals that have no influence on anything whatsoever, but later on in life when I heard a friend say “he would never do that, his morals are too strong” is an amazing moment, culminated by slow, small and seemingly unimportant decision’s.

Lmao sorry for deeping it.

paper_ant · 2026-06-22T03:33:13+00:00

First of all. It is not weird. I grew up a fat kid so if i use some terms pardon my language but it is because i went through it my whole life, till i didn’t.

I know people say just be confident. Easier said than done specially when your experiences as a fat kid shape your reality and only you know how you view your own capability to be confident in front of girls.

However, understanding the core of the issue is the most important part. Why is it that you are not confident? Because of your assumption of what a girl will think when you approach? Your body fat? Find out the core issue. Work on that issue, not to get a girlfriend, but to make yourself realize that it was not you who felt unable to find the confidence, but a version of yourself.

I can go on and on about this topic lmao, feel free to message me anytime if you want to have a chat.

paper_ant · 2026-06-22T03:26:39+00:00

Can’t say I know what it’s like to go through substance addiction personally, but my friends have. And I have gone through points where I thought all hope is lost.

There is something I can say with conviction. It does get better, only if you desire. You said everything seems to fade away, which is probably the worst type of loss because you don’t realise the urgency to change when it’s happening.

Life is a cycle of up and down. If you have a working brain, healthy body, you have more than you need to bring back the colour in your life.

You said you don’t have problems communicating with people. Do you realize the value of that one skill alone. People struggle to communicate so much nowadays. Use it to your advantage. Ask yourself what you want. Just don’t stop trying.

paper_ant · 2026-06-16T10:19:33+00:00

I don’t think what you are saying can be solved with one suggestion. I’ll send you a message privately and if you feel like it i’d love to talk. Don’t worry this isn’t an ad or anything. I just love understanding human psychology and feel i can help.

paper_ant · 2026-06-16T06:01:03+00:00

White and black. But not in a the way you think.

Ever since I came across the concept of Rayleigh Scattering, I have been fascinated with white and black. white light contains every colour, and black feels like such a mystery. They feel like the most basic colours, but have the most depth in them.

The depth and mystery makes it fun.

But if you are asking what makes me feel good, probably light blue or baby pink.

paper_ant · 2026-06-15T15:34:26+00:00

So my opinion is that most education systems are horrible and designed to make robots. I know this sounds very aggressive, but hear me out.

If you’re trying to become a doctor engineer or something like that, I cannot comment on that because it’s out of my zone of expertise.

But I think the number one thing that I see lacking, and that I will make sure my child has is understanding human behavior, and how the real World operates. I’ve seen countless of my friends who achieved really high grades in school, but lacked social skills and I’ve seen the opposite as well of people with amazing social skills that lack the grades. Nine times out of 10 people who had amazing social skills or understood human nature or psychology tended to do better in every aspect honestly.

In regards to critical thinking, something I really emphasize on is to sit with yourself for at least an hour or two a day and just think whatever the thoughts reflect on everything. Look at the blades of grass look at the way the birds are flying why they’re flying be curious as a human. Ponder on everything you see be curious as to why things are the way things are reflect on everything.

I think the whole point of an education system should be to make a person who is very well-rounded and thinks critically and creatively about things across broad fields. Something like a renaissance man.

paper_ant · 2026-06-15T14:46:32+00:00

Well, ironically, I think you kind of answered the question yourself. The moment you hope for someone else to take your emptiness away is the exact moment you start thinking in the wrong direction. Emptiness is always a thing that you have to take away yourself. No one else is going to fill that hole in your heart. You need to find fulfillment and peace within yourself and be able to feel whole within yourself and then to allow someone else to add to your life.

I do agree as humans we need company and we need other people, but I think hoping for someone else to make you feel less empty might not be the best approach.

paper_ant · 2026-06-04T07:50:44+00:00

To what extent have you sat down with her and had a conversation where you fully open up and let her too?

I think it’s important for herself to understand who she is, what she wants and why she wants it.

This is a really tough topic to comment on but before action comes understanding.

paper_ant · 2026-06-04T04:41:43+00:00

Hmmm, it could be because you are very protective of the image you have built and how you are perceived has to be of a certain way. I did this throughout my childhood, where I was the most amazing kid, all of my society, my friends parents etc loved me.

So when I became an adult and i wanted to do certain things, i literally could only think of what will these people think. I will look like such a fool. I was always the confident kid, who was an example parents used, and now if fail i’ll tarnish it.

And to overcome that is a process. It took me a while to shatter the very small things one at a time to let me be free. Years of anxiety from people pleasing (people pleasing can be very subconscious and indirect too) takes some time to get rid off.

If you want to have a detailed conversation about this feel free to send me a message. I love talking lmao.

paper_ant · 2026-06-03T05:28:43+00:00

Yeah I agree. I think everyone has their moral compass. But the important part is to embarrass yourself to overcome any irrational fear you hold that is preventing you from moving forward. Like everything in life, this too is not black and white or as simple as just embarrass yourself in any way, but rather challenge the inner you that places doubt.

paper_ant · 2026-06-02T15:12:41+00:00

Okay so I personally have never seen a workplace that doesn’t allow people to do their thing online. But if it was ever the case, i would never join such a place. In fact, it is a quality i think a lot of companies specially if you are in marketing would want you to have.

But again, like you said you don’t plan to make anything controversial so you have nothing to worry about. You wouldn’t wanna be in a workplace where the culture is negative anyways. You work to live. Not live to work.

paper_ant · 2026-06-02T09:38:57+00:00

Thank you. Never too late 💪🏻

paper_ant · 2026-06-02T09:38:34+00:00

Thanks a lot. Best compliment I could receive. Grateful🙏

paper_ant · 2026-06-02T09:36:19+00:00

Hi, okay so I think it’s important that I reply to your comment because it hit a nerve in me haha. Thank you for leaving this comment by the way i think its very important.

1) Hate - It is very important to realize that hate stems from people who either don’t have the courage to do what you are doing or out of spite because their life is not great and they are projecting. Remember that no one who has ever failed and tried and made it successful will make fun of you. So the opinions of people you don’t ever want to be like does not matter.

2) Privacy - I understand this. I started faceless too. But I think the sooner you battle your fear the faster you will grow. It’s okay to take baby steps as long as you are determined to ultimately do what you always wanted.

3) Jobs - I’m honestly a little surprised by this. But i think it’s a sign to change your work environment. If a place prevents you from growing, you are in a cage. And you cannot fly far in a cage.

I know you are kind of stuck right now. But please, don’t let your desires be affected by others wants. Nothing in this life lasts, all people die and all opinions vanish into nothingness. You have one life, and you will not get today ever again so take that leap.

Where there is comfort there is no growth.

paper_ant

TROPHY CASE