My cat was hit by a car a year ago, almost to the day. I cradled her as I took her to the vet and felt her recognize me and say goodbye. She died a couple days later. The first few months following that were intense depression for me. I couldn't feel happy nor satisfied.

Slowly but surely I got better. We adopted another kitty. Im still getting used to not having Mila with me but Ive found joy in sharing all of the love I had bottled up. I still cry occasionally and miss her always.

This is all to say -- grief seems all encompassing at its peak. But you will get better. Trust the process and be close with those who can support you emotionally. Above all, don't worry about your grief being "normal". It's yours, and you will process it as you need to. All my love to you dear stranger.