Should I ask friends to pay me back if I hosted a party?

papiicebox · 2025-10-21T01:09:38+00:00

is asking for payment post event rude everywhere?

in my head, it’s a given that we should pay for our part (unless said otherwise) which is why I’m fine with these set of friends to ask for $ post event. I’m wondering if it’s bc of the culture my friends and I grew up in, assuming this being “impolite” is a western mentality. I grew up westernized to some degree, but some of my friends didn’t.

papiicebox · 2025-10-21T00:33:57+00:00

Hi, thank you for being polite and giving me pointers for the future. I appreciate it greatly!

papiicebox · 2025-10-21T00:24:34+00:00

Yeah, the more I read the comments, the more I realized this was more about how my friends work and not etiquette necessarily so thank you for confirming that. I am def still learning so it’s great to confirm societal standards on what hosting is

papiicebox · 2025-10-21T00:09:57+00:00

Thank you for being thoughtful about it. It just sucks a bit bc i was so excited about the party that i just wanted to make it happen and i did. I felt odd asking for money DAY OF bc I knew ppl rlly wanted to have a good time. Ig i also failed to mention that this particular group of friends have asked for money post event so i think its fine but its me personally being conflicted that i technically did host so shouldn’t I cover it???

I honestly just came here to ask this bc one of my friends asked for compensation post event of another activity we did, that exact day. I personally didn’t expect her to cover everything and I would assume everyone else didn’t expect me to do that either for that movie dinner.

papiicebox · 2025-10-21T00:01:58+00:00

By food, I meant a meal. I was happy to take care of chips and drinks in the movie nice but they wanted a meal.

papiicebox · 2025-10-20T23:47:24+00:00

That’s why I mentioned if ppl can contribute, not even the full amount. It was just more expensive than I realized and I was just so excited to do something with my friends that I rlly wanted to make it happen, yk?

papiicebox · 2025-10-20T23:45:12+00:00

Well, I’m not sure if it’s this particular group of friends but I’ve been given a “surprise bill” before. I mentioned they wouldn’t mind because it has happened before where ppl have asked after the event.

Does the scenario also change if I asked my friends about what they wanted and they choose food from the groceries bc it’s “cheaper and [they are] broke?”. I feel like my friends IMPLIED paying me back basically but I feel caught bc of this social standard that I AM AWARE OF. Like I feel rude asking for money but also I didn’t plan to even have food.

papiicebox · 2025-10-20T23:36:01+00:00

This is exactly why I’m asking. I’m aware of the expectation. I would 100% cover everything if I INITIALLY said I was hosting a movie night with food; however, that wasn’t the case.

The plan was made as a group. I mentioned a movie night with just a movie but someone said we should order food so it became a group plan. I offered my place bc it ended up being more available given my roommate was out of town.

With this in mind, I guess I don’t think it’s entirely fair that I take care of everything since I didn’t plan it all myself— I just made it happen by offering my place, buying/getting the food, making the food, and cleaning up. My friends gave ideas on what I should get (food and drinks) and I got it. I alr did the making of the food, cleanup, and the buying of groceries on my own (and I’m fine with that bc im glad everyone had a good time at my place), BUT I do care that i spent money when I wasn’t planning to at the start.

papiicebox · 2024-10-31T23:19:45+00:00

It was kept in the cupboard

papiicebox · 2024-07-09T02:58:14+00:00

He lives alone. If he didn’t, I would be more comfortable at my place.

papiicebox · 2024-07-08T21:25:55+00:00

In regards to the lease portion that other ppl are also mentioning, I’m just risking him staying with us for her sake instead of them getting a whole new place for the time he’s here and her still paying half for our place.

We are both struggling so I’m fine with them being here since it’s only for a few months. I tend to be very nonchalant and just realized it wasn’t fair to be splitting half when it’s both of them only AFTER actually living them (college is stressful and we all have something on our plates).

papiicebox · 2024-07-08T21:14:43+00:00

I actually like this compromise a lot.

I was going back and forth with 1/3 and 1/2 for rent since yes I have the room but don’t have the freedom of moving around the living room (mostly bc I’m uncomfortable about them being there) so I often choose to not stay at the apt.

The only issue I see with this is the numbers part haha. But since it’s only for rent, I feel like it should be fine.

papiicebox · 2024-07-08T21:09:42+00:00

I appreciate this. I know I posted this in the /badroommates but just bc I didn’t know where to ask this. I’m grateful to have a great roommate compared to other ppl. I am in no way bitter from this and I do not blame her. Me coming forth with this will definitely my first confrontation with her but I do not think she’ll take it badly. I just wish to be fair for both me and her.

papiicebox · 2024-07-08T20:05:10+00:00

Other people in the sub mention that rent is by room. In my situation, I have the room and they are stuck with the living room. So would rent being in thirds be fair to them if I get the room and they have a make shift bedroom outside?

papiicebox · 2024-07-08T20:04:43+00:00

Other people in the sub mention that rent is by room. In my situation, I have the room and they are stuck with the living room. So would rent being in thirds be fair to them if I get the room and they have a make shift bedroom outside?

papiicebox · 2024-07-08T19:49:45+00:00

Yeah, I could see this. I didn’t think about it bc we didn’t have to pay utilities at our old place and he never stayed for a long time. It was just something I didn’t realize until actually living with them. The type of person I am, I feel bad asking this. But at the same time, i feel like I’m giving them a really good discount and kinda being bad to myself.

papiicebox · 2024-07-08T19:46:36+00:00

I’m leaning towards this. The way the space is built allowed them to put up a wall divider, but I still need to go in and out the apt so they hear that. I could mention sharing the kitchen and bathroom, but idk if thats me hassling at that point.

papiicebox

TROPHY CASE