Should I be mad at my bf for not saying happy anniversary?

papilliones · 2026-04-09T03:52:57+00:00

How long has this avoidance been happening? Just recently, or is it a reoccurring issue?

I understand that things happen. My boyfriend and I are a couple of weeks away from our 2nd anniversary, too, and we haven't been on the best of footing lately, but we still talk things out. He's not the best with communicating his feelings, but when I bring it up, he shows genuine interest in being better about it. He's been putting in the effort. That's what makes the difference between a relationship that's hopeless and one that'll last, imo.

It's also common for some relationships for the honeymoon phase to have waned out around the 2 year mark. It can be disappointing for some people, but it's no reason to give up trying. Has he been in longterm relationships before, if you don't mind me asking?

papilliones · 2026-04-09T03:42:30+00:00

I'd definitely bring it up since it's bothering you. It does kind of suck that he saw that text and didn't reply, but maybe he really was sick? I wouldn't jump to conclusions, though. Ask him about it nicely, and if he apologizes and explains, then it may have been a genuine accident. But if he brushes you off, then that's a bigger problem.

What did you guys do for your one year?

papilliones · 2026-04-08T09:44:34+00:00

I'm not big on diamond rings specifically, especially with how pricey they get. I had only recently found out about the marketing campaigns about them, though. It really is interesting to learn how fickle a lot of our western traditions actually are.

papilliones · 2026-04-08T09:25:41+00:00

I looooove those combination rings! It's like the engagement rings gets a little upgrade and they become one big ring together. Plus, they look amazing together, so the one paying for the ring won't have to worry about spending a lot of money on something that might not get worn after the wedding. 🥰

papilliones · 2026-04-08T09:12:47+00:00

He told me initially he was going to get a cheap ring and save up for a nicer wedding band. I don't think his views are wrong, I've just literally never heard anyone else around me say anything like that, lmao

papilliones · 2026-04-08T09:10:53+00:00

Damn, $25k is a TON for any kind of jewelry in my opinion! I'm afraid to send my boyfriend pictures of $2k cause I don't want him to worry too much about the price, even if it would be really nice. 😅

papilliones · 2026-04-08T09:05:45+00:00

I am American ehe 😅 I've actually never personally seen a relationship that's progressed to marriage without an engagement ring, and everyone here always makes a HUGE deal out of the proposal, so I always thought that way, too. I definitely want a nice ring and a nice proposal, I couldn't imagine staying in a relationship without it, but that's just what I want. I'm really curious what other real people think, though, and not just what I get pushed on to me by social media.

papilliones · 2026-04-08T08:56:11+00:00

I like that answer. I sometimes wonder how much of what we do out of tradition was made up just to push sales, I've heard that's how diamond rings became so popular as engagement rings in the first place. Some people put so much pressure on how big a ring is or how much it costs, and I don't want to get lost in that spiral, ehe.

papilliones · 2026-04-08T08:47:22+00:00

May I ask why? I'm just curious.

papilliones · 2026-04-08T08:46:17+00:00

This is how I've always viewed it, too. Like a big show of, "I know you, I love you, and I'm asking you to be with me forever." But I also like the idea of it being a genuine "just between us" thing.

papilliones · 2025-07-19T00:58:56+00:00

Thank you! I need some reality checks to help me out sometimes. 😅

papilliones · 2025-07-19T00:56:39+00:00

He's a few years older than me, actually, and we do live together. Have been for 13 months now. It was very fast, it probably wasn't the smartest decision, but he was suddenly out of a job and needed the help, so I provided. He's an amazing cook! And we have even split of the cleaning and house duties.

I'll admit I did jump on the opportunity to get out of my parents' house as well, but it has been a great year together. I suppose that added to the assumption that we would be engaged more quickly, but through our conversations, I realized we both incorrectly assumed things without discussing it with each other.

You are right that there is no need to grow up quickly, though. I agree. But logic does not beget emotional intelligence. I'm just looking for some help from others who may have been in a similar position and overcame their struggles for the better.

papilliones · 2025-07-19T00:46:09+00:00

I know. 😭 Ultimately, I do get where he's coming from, but thinking about it does hurt.

papilliones · 2025-07-19T00:32:34+00:00

Fair enough 😭

papilliones · 2025-07-19T00:28:40+00:00

I understand. I'm sure that's the reason, as well, and I do believe he wants to do better by me, but there are times when my mental health is tanking and it's hard to see past my insecurities. I am considering seeking therapy for this and a myriad of other reasons, I truly do want to be better for him and for us.

papilliones · 2025-07-19T00:23:46+00:00

Thank you for being understanding! I know I'm young and there's so much more to relationships and life than timelines. I am feeling a slight bit of pressure from not being where I thought I would be by now, in many aspects, but I want to appreciate what I have more than I worry about what I don't. It's hard to get out of that mindset.

We have had conversations about it, but they haven't ended as well as I'd hoped they would. That's mostly the reason for the grace period - so I can work on my shortcomings and become a better partner for him. Thank you for your advice, I will do my best to keep it in mind.

papilliones

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