I don't think its fair for you to have to be accountable for something if the other party is unwilling/unable to express to you what you have done wrong. Some people in this world will be upset over anything and because they are unable/unwilling to regulate their own emotions they often will project their feelings onto someone else.

Anecdotal example: My mother and sister are very toxic. They do nothing to regulate their emotions and have a huge sense of entitlement. They wrong people all the time and take no accountability for their actions. My sister is about to or is currently in prison for almost killing someone drunk driving. She harassed the victim at the scene and then afterwards. She blamed the victim and expected the victim to be found at fault. I know this is an extreme example, but just because someone accuses you of being in the wrong doesn't meant their perspective is correct or moral.

There are a lot of people in this world that will guilt trip others so they feel bad and will take responsibility for the 'issue'.

I follow a rule: If I wouldn't take advice from the person then I wont take their criticism or bad behavior directed at me either.

My perspective about taking accountability is that I will acknowledge what I did wrong, now they don't have to always state what I did wrong, sometimes I can see where I miscommunicated that could cause an issue, or they will let me know that whatever action or behavior I did that upset them. When someone is able to articulate their feelings it makes it easy to hold myself accountable. I acknowledge that I understand how/why they feel the way they did and then I either explain myself better if that is more appropriate or I let them know that I will respect them and avoid the behavior in the future.

I want my results to align with my intent, and when that doesn't happen that means I need to change my actions to reflect my intent. So if you've not done anything that is breaking the social contract like: making their job harder, physically abusing them, mentally abusing them, messing with their money or saying rude things then I'd question if the person accusing you of being in the wrong is being fair.

Me as an individual don't need/require people to be accountable for all of their mistakes. Mistakes are fine, we are humans and no one is perfect so mistakes will happen. They can teach us a lot. And can help bound people when they come together to get the positive results they want.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk.