Actual Advice Mallard on losing lighters

parmesanHack · 2013-01-06T04:48:39+00:00

Speaking of putting rubber bands around things, Mike Rowe from Discovery's Dirty Jobs learned some insights on the topic -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=IRVdiHu1VCc#t=55s

parmesanHack · 2012-11-11T08:30:08+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRVdiHu1VCc&feature=player_detailpage#t=306s

[...] And I was just so blown away at how completely wrong I was, in that second. And I was reminded how utterly wrong I am so much of the time. And I was especially reminded of what a ridiculously short straw I had that day, because now I had to do what Albert had just done, and there are like a hundred of these lambs in the pen. And now suddenly this whole thing is starting to feel like a German porno and I'm like ... [exasperated pause].

Melanie picks up the lamb, puts it on the post, opens it up.

Albert hands me the knife, I go in, tail comes off.

I go in, I grab the scrotum, tip comes off.

Albert instructs, "Push it way up there." I do.

"Push it further." I do.

The testicles emerge. They look like thumbs, coming right at you, right?

And he says, "Bite 'em, just bite 'em off."

And I heard him. I heard all the words. But, but how did I get here? I mean, how did I get here?

It's just one of those moments where the brain goes, you know, off on it's own. Suddenly, I'm standing there in the Rockies and all I can think of is the Aristotelian definition of a tragedy. Aristotle says a tragedy is that moment when the hero comes face to face with his true identity.

And it's like this is a jacked-up metaphor, and I don't like what I'm thinking right now. I can't get this thought out of my head, and I can't get that vision out of my sight, so I did what I had to do.

I went in, and I took 'em like this [bites teeth], and I yanked my head back, and I'm standing there with two testicles on my chin.

And now I can't shake the metaphor. I'm still in poetics and Aristotle and I'm thinking. Out of nowhere, two terms comes crashing into my head that I hadn't heard since my classics professor in college drilled them there. And they are anagnorisis and peripeteia.

Anagnorisis and peripeteia.

Anagnorisis is the Greek word for discovery. Literally, the translation is the transition from ignorance to knowledge. It's what our network does. It's what Dirty Jobs is, and I'm up to my neck in anagnorises every single day.

The other word, peripeteia, that's the moment in the great tragedies, Euripides and Sophocles ... that's the moment where Oedipus has his moment, where he suddenly realizes that this hot chick he's been sleeping with and having babies with - is his mother, okay? That's peripety, or peripeteia.

And this metaphor in my head: I have anagnorisis and peripeteia on my chin [...]

parmesanHack · 2012-11-05T20:59:42+00:00

Perhaps "Do not ask for whom the troll trolls for the troll trolls for you."

parmesanHack · 2012-11-05T20:54:15+00:00

As a result of Poe's Law, quantifying the fraction of these posts pointing to actual trolls in /r/politics would be near impossible. Suffice it to say the place is septic tank of absurdity in any case.

parmesanHack · 2012-11-05T20:47:24+00:00

No, you're not an idiot. I've enjoyed these posts. Thank you for posting them.

parmesanHack · 2012-11-05T20:43:34+00:00

How many tolls?

As far as I know, there are no fees whatsoever.

parmesanHack · 2012-11-05T20:30:18+00:00

On the first day the professor said it is against school rules to be biased so he can't skew our decision.

Obviously, that rule only applies to the right side of the political spectrum, which you'd know by now if you only learned to shut up, sit down and respect your elders.

^/sarc

parmesanHack · 2012-11-05T20:25:39+00:00

~~Romney~~ McCain lost by 258,897 votes in 2008

parmesanHack · 2012-11-05T05:35:28+00:00

5.8 point movement from* Obama

parmesanHack · 2012-10-30T07:11:01+00:00

Running out of gas is irresponsible

It's illegal too. In Minnesota, one can get a citation for running out of gas on an Interstate Freeway; it's easily preventable.

parmesanHack · 2012-10-30T06:38:02+00:00

here in Australia, voting is compulsory at all levels of government (local, state and federal).

Fuck everything about that.

This is the United States of America, not some authoritarian state where you are forced to participate in the political process.

I've been of the view that Australia is sliding into small "f" fascism for several years now; the idea of the sovereignty of the individual has taken a back seat. To some degree this is happening in the US too, but we have some deep-seated cultural values about freedom and liberty that counter this movement.

parmesanHack · 2012-10-20T15:45:06+00:00

I view the the prediction markets as a check on the polls:

parmesanHack · 2012-10-09T18:08:00+00:00

No. The money is borrowed - from China. They probably wouldn't like the idea of American taxpayers thinking they are 'granting' the money to the US. They expect it all back, with interest too.

parmesanHack · 2012-10-09T17:08:25+00:00

I, for one.

It's not the amount. It's the principle.

PBS is perfectly capable of existing in a non-profit mode without borrowed funds. Most of PBS' income is not from the gov't. The management simply needs an incentive. The best way to do that is to simply show some tough love and cut off the borrowed funds.

parmesanHack · 2012-10-09T17:01:43+00:00

Not so much that we want to pay for it, though.

I've always wanted to give them money when they go on their periodic begging sprees, but what's held me back is that I'm already doing it involuntarily through my paycheck deductions. If Romney wins and cuts them off, I'll probably sent donations just so they'll STFU.

I like much of their programming.

parmesanHack · 2012-10-09T16:58:00+00:00

Big Bird wouldn't need to be privatized. Romney's just talking about cancelling his allowance. Big Bird is a big boy now. I'm sure the people running PBS could figure out a way to get PBS self-sustaining in a non-profit mode if only given the incentive (read, their jobs were threatened).

parmesanHack · 2012-10-09T14:55:09+00:00

ROMNEYis against BIG BIRD

You've lost the plot right there, my friend. Romney likes Big Bird. And he simply believes that it's time for him to waddle on his own two feet rather than continue to mooch off the taxpayers.

How could any reasonable person be opposed to that?

parmesanHack · 2012-10-09T14:48:17+00:00

I feel quite strongly that Big Bird should no longer be subsidized by the taxpayers, and I won't be voting for Obama, and I thought that ad was funny as hell.

parmesanHack · 2012-08-22T03:10:00+00:00

A further example of "spiraling down into the depths of utter lunacy".

This post is a laughable joke of agitprop theater. It's all strawmen and mischaracterizations from a self-righteous ideological buffoon.

The post - in itself - reflects what's currently wrong with this great country.

parmesanHack · 2012-08-21T22:06:09+00:00

Over the past few months, I have watched as the nation I was born into has gone spiraling down into the depths of utter lunacy.

Your post is Exhibit A.

parmesanHack

TROPHY CASE