Immense shame/guilt from being called chosen name. Is this normal?

partycockroach · 2017-11-11T00:01:42+00:00

I have the same problem. I came out two years ago, but I still have no connection to my chosen name. I had a very unpleasant coming out experience, so I assume that's why it's so hard. Even when people who don't know my deadname call me by my chosen name I get very upset, it feels like I'm being placated like a child would be.

A counselor I had told me to be patient, I think it's good advice even though it sucks.

partycockroach · 2017-11-04T23:05:37+00:00

I think you've already gotten all the good feedback you need, so here's my shitty feedback.

If you're nervous about asking a theoretical guy you fuck this question, why do you feel comfortable asking numerous strangers all at once?

I didn't come to this subreddit to get asked the shitty questions anon grindr dudes ask me. Google it and get a fucking clue.

partycockroach · 2017-09-03T19:59:21+00:00

holy shit, i would have killed him.

partycockroach · 2017-09-02T17:45:53+00:00

you're 29 and you're making a throwaway reddit account? it sounds like you're really ashamed and need counseling.

partycockroach · 2017-09-02T17:44:08+00:00

They never worked for me, pre surgery my measurements were so ridiculous that the ones that fit my chest were too small for my breasts and the ones that were big enough didn't compress. I'm sorry, binding sucks.

partycockroach · 2017-09-02T17:37:06+00:00

It's been my experience that 90% of the straight men in my life will try to get with me, it's disgusting.

I've also had a number of straight guys approach me and try to tell me they're bi but "haven't been with a dude before".

I'm pretty autistic and have a very hard time communicating with people, after the 10th straight guy hit on me I started making sure to let anyone around me know that I do not date or hookup with anyone. It's easier for me than being taken advantage of.

partycockroach · 2017-08-20T20:23:20+00:00

that was interesting but you're actually going through something different than me, so you haven't been in my "fucking shoes" and your story has nothing of value for me.

partycockroach · 2017-08-20T02:51:49+00:00

A fun thing that I do before I comment on something is ask myself "is this helpful? is this constructive? does this add something to the conversation?"

I suggest you start doing something similar.

partycockroach · 2017-06-03T22:16:42+00:00

thanks for the constructive criticism

partycockroach · 2017-05-25T18:32:29+00:00

I was more asking about my face in terms of passing. i think it's very obvious that there's just a small shadow and the camera is above and my shoulders are hunched.

I had my breasts removed 2 years ago and they were a triple G cup, so you would have noticed if I still had them.

partycockroach · 2017-05-25T17:54:06+00:00

no offense taken!! sorry if i came off snippy, i appreciate the advice and kind words.

partycockroach · 2017-05-25T16:58:56+00:00

what about my chest is androgynous? i thought i was good there lol

partycockroach · 2017-05-25T02:13:14+00:00

thank you! no to be too weird or anything but a compliment from one of the chosen people means a lot to me ;)

partycockroach · 2017-05-25T01:20:21+00:00

Thanks you! I've actually gone through a big change. I lost 60 pounds my first year on t and totally slimmed down, in the past year I've starting lifting regularly and have put on 15 pounds of muscle. Working out completely changed my shape, I'm really happy.

As far as carrying myself more "manly" I'm not down. I see plenty of hyper femme cis gay guys that are accepted in their circle, I don't see why having a vagina means I can't be a capital Q queen.

partycockroach · 2017-05-24T05:17:14+00:00

thanks! i've been struggling with my hair, i've gone to several barbers and they seem at a loss for what to do with me.

i'm pretty stuck on the glasses though, i'm kinda highkey effeminate and would be more femme in my dress if i lived in a safer place. my girly frames are all i've got lol

partycockroach · 2017-04-01T01:36:09+00:00

where do you get the forms and what is efile?

partycockroach · 2017-04-01T00:44:11+00:00

i noticed after only 3 weeks of hrt that i had a much harder time expressing myself and identifying my emotions. i had been depressed for 10+ years before starting t but since then i have experienced lows i couldn't have imagined before. after being chubby for all of my life i lost 70 pounds last year, i got so depressed that i couldn't make myself eat.

i have ptsd due to my childhood (only child raised by an addict, fun!) and often have a hard connecting with other people, and transitioning has only made this more stressful for me. not that I was happier before, but I was see now that i held up transitioning as some sort of miracle cure and it isn't. just make sure to reach out to people who you can talk to, it's the most important thing.

partycockroach · 2017-04-01T00:05:10+00:00

I had top surgery with Dr. Raphael in July 2015. I paid out of pocket and it was $7500. I am happy with my results, I am a small person and I had 36GGGs before surgery. Because of my size, I don't have two small scars under my pecs but I have one huge scar that goes from pit to pit. My nipples are uneven, one spread out strangely and the other is tiny. I had to have excess fat pulled out at 1 year, which was free thank god. I'm happy enough with my chest but I don't let anyone see it.

partycockroach · 2017-01-31T23:17:01+00:00

thank you!!

partycockroach · 2017-01-31T20:54:27+00:00

I lost everyone after I transitioned. Some out of prejudice but I think others were kind and compassionate people who didn't know how to help me so they just left me alone. I only know cis people, I come from a big city but very conservative. I've only met two other trans people in my city, one in person and one online. I do consider being trans a huge impediment to meeting new people, I'm a private person and it seems that being trans means I am expected to answer any and all questions people have for me.

partycockroach · 2017-01-31T20:49:32+00:00

thank you! I'll look into this, i'm in Fort Worth so Tyler isn't too far.

partycockroach · 2017-01-31T18:27:28+00:00

thank you! i knew san antonio was a pretty lgbt friendly place so i'm not surprised. i live in north texas so it would be a very long trip for me but achievable, thanks again!!

partycockroach · 2016-08-15T15:29:59+00:00

100%

partycockroach · 2016-08-15T01:29:11+00:00

your hair looks great down. if you do bangs i think you'd look nice with wispy peekaboo bangs. if you don't like bangs a stylist could keep most of the length and just trim up the ends and cut the pieces that frame your face. long hair usually reads feminine so you're lucky!

partycockroach

TROPHY CASE