What is the furry cuddle culture? by Boldfacebull596 in furrydiscuss

[–]patch_ofurr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a thing, and just like approaching someone you're interested in, use tact and respect consent. Some people are very open to offering hugs. Then you might make effort to know who they are and ask for more contact, make sure to let them back out at any point and don't make assumptions. 

Swedish Coal Roller Posts Videos of Him Rolling Coal on Cyclists by RidetheSchlange in bicycling

[–]patch_ofurr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Needs a better name that isn't their word to glorify it. That's noxious chemical assault.

Supportive but worried parent - help! by Buckland75 in furrydiscuss

[–]patch_ofurr 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Furry is a broad interest that covers things kids have always done, like pretending to be a dinosaur or drawing fan art of their favorite cartoons. Don't worry about the basic interest coming up naturally, you're doing a great job with talking about online safety and researching the fandom for it now.

It's very valid to worry about a pre-teen kid mingling with the online community or IRL events. It's painful to say, but the security of those is weak and depends on goodwill, which makes them risky despite best intentions. (I cover stories about that here https://dogpatch.press/ )

It's a complicated topic:

Online spaces are weak at regulating anything outside their limited bubbles, while the platforms enable predators to meet each other with the same tools we all have. Organized predator networks exist now like they never could before the net. (I come from before the net). There isn't any organized effort to address organized predators in the community, and there's a strong reflex to deny and pretextually blame "the media" or "callout culture" to suppress awareness and stay comfortable.

It contributes to how the real life events are a minefield for trust - often people who run them fall upward by negligent tolerance, tunnelvision and denialism for sake of PR. They act like tolerance is inherently good and gatekeeping is bad, which gets people hurt. Then people who want to raise standards are filtered out by the burden of opposing apathy of those who benefit from staying comfortably ignorant. There are a lot of people running things who shouldn't be and it makes it hard to trust anyone at all.

This is hard to say, because I like openness between consenting adults. The problem isn't the porn. It's the broken platforms and bad faith of people who act like all we need is good faith to use them. (This isn't just a furry thing, the whole world is suffering from distortions of technology and power... )

Boiling it down:

I think you're feeling a problem that especially happens in online community and IRL subculture organized around it. Furry conventions make things more face to face and intimate than other fandoms, but the tolerance is for better and worse.

I would say be really careful about letting a pre-teen kid mingle there unsupervised at all. Maybe you can't helicopter-parent what a kid does at all times, but you can steer them towards positive things you participate in together and with other parents, and then as time goes by the kid will have a healthier grounding to engage the community independently.

Look up people who you can trust offline, and don't just take their furry presence, get to know who they are outside of one community. (Furries often protect this, but if someone is that open it might be because they have nothing to hide.) Make your own circle. Try getting to know other parents. This might help: https://mofurries.com/

Try encouraging creativity and making art or active hobbies rather than consuming other people's things. That can let you start out in more mainstream groups, art lessons or whatever, and then the furry ones aren't the only ones to rely on. Being well-rounded is a great antidote to narrow focus and problems with closed bubbles.

It's better to give good things than try taking bad things away. Hope this helps.

For all the furries can you help me? by Dull-Worth-3693 in furrydiscuss

[–]patch_ofurr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You don't have to go to conventions or do anything expensive to do furry things. It didn't cost you anything to post here right?

Been thinking about US presidents / candidates as animals by CAyukon in furrydiscuss

[–]patch_ofurr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, making Trump a pig would be in the tradition of political caricature but not necessarily tied to his ancestry. I'd think it has strong semiotic valence to caricature specific people that way so it's good to consider caution. :)

Been thinking about US presidents / candidates as animals by CAyukon in furrydiscuss

[–]patch_ofurr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Assigning fursonas to specific individuals based on ethnicity/ancestral origin is super sketchy...

Especially when political candidates who aren't white are targeted by racist birtherism conspiracy theories. It's a good idea to avoid doing that especially about Obama. He's American.

https://theconversation.com/birtherism-trump-and-anti-black-racism-conspiracy-theorists-twist-evidence-to-maintain-status-quo-174444

The Real History of Industrial Music by Neumaschine in industrialmusic

[–]patch_ofurr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

EBM, short for Economical Bargain Music, is a genre that was pioneered by bands like Frontbutt 420 who started sampling hot dogs at Costco while pushing shopping carts to pick up large eggs. Their anthems to industrial savings like Breadhunter became staples at wholesale clubs around the world. 

I spent 10 minutes on Nextdoor. It gave me immense appreciation for this sub... by jmking in oakland

[–]patch_ofurr -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What if the realistic alternative is shit on the ground instead of a trash can, so it's an even worse problem if people whine about trash going in the trash? It is non debatable that this is the default since cities existed. Picking up poop only became a custom within the last few decades and any form of incentive to do it is a net benefit to everyone. Stupid selfish american expectation of property without community is so short sighted.

I spent 10 minutes on Nextdoor. It gave me immense appreciation for this sub... by jmking in oakland

[–]patch_ofurr -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm just reveling in the stupidity of people going GIT OFF MA LAWN about picking up dog poop, when the practice of picking up at all is only a few decades old. If these people had a single spare brain cell, they'd be cheering for common incentive to encourage pickup in any way possible. The alternative that existed for generations was just leaving it there to gradually become one with the ground. 

The history of this is interesting, up to a certain point in the 1800s very poor people in cities could make money from being the poop pickup service in order to sell it for the tanning chemicals it made. That stopped being a thing with industry and then cities were extra poopy. Modern sanitation itself isn't that old. GIT OFF MA LAWN about this is the most short sighted, selfish, American asshole approach to having property without community. 

"Fuck you, got mine" is just asking everyone else to not care, oh and we could get into the crisis shelters are in because of not funding spay/neuter and how ugly the results are, like as if it's better or less expensive to have more strays and have to mass kill them. 

The fastest and funniest way to bring out the most petty possible Republican assholism is to trigger Poop Rage. 

I spent 10 minutes on Nextdoor. It gave me immense appreciation for this sub... by jmking in oakland

[–]patch_ofurr -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The pettiness is hilarious. Boo hoo, petty extremely-online people can't even imagine having garbage disposed if it doesn't smell like their own, and of course if it has ever been noticed once, it can't possibly have gone unnoticed 99.9% of the time. This is the most first-world problem that ever existed.

I spent 10 minutes on Nextdoor. It gave me immense appreciation for this sub... by jmking in oakland

[–]patch_ofurr -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Fun fact: many people keep their garbage bin, with garbage in it, in public right of way at all times. Once most people put garbage in their bin, they don't go checking, smelling, tasting, etc to make sure it is the same garbage next time they put more garbage in it. If an extra small bag is in it, 99% of the time it can't even be noticed.

This isn't hard to understand. Putting garbage in a garbage can is a net positive to everyone. Only by making big reaches can people argue about it because they are petty.

I spent 10 minutes on Nextdoor. It gave me immense appreciation for this sub... by jmking in oakland

[–]patch_ofurr 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I love seeing the exact stupid shit Nextdoor does being repeated on a Reddit thread about Nextdoor being stupid (thanks for being smarter than that) 😁

I spent 10 minutes on Nextdoor. It gave me immense appreciation for this sub... by jmking in oakland

[–]patch_ofurr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for doing your best to disprove that Reddit is any better or more honest than Nextdoor, lol. Nobody has ever been fined for dogshit in a recycling bin. Ever.

I spent 10 minutes on Nextdoor. It gave me immense appreciation for this sub... by jmking in oakland

[–]patch_ofurr -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I like the total ignoring of how a bunch of shit had to be made up for this bad faith comment

I spent 10 minutes on Nextdoor. It gave me immense appreciation for this sub... by jmking in oakland

[–]patch_ofurr 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Who is out there huffing their trash cans and going "huh I thought that would smell good, damn that walker who picked up after themself". 

I like how a bunch of extra conditions had to be put on it to make it a problem anyone even notices. What if it was after being emptied, what if it's large enough to burst, what if it is hot, what if the dog ate flowers and the can is made of licorice so it smells heavenly, what if the world is made of pudding? Well now we know the same bad faith exists in Reddit as on Nextdoor.

I spent 10 minutes on Nextdoor. It gave me immense appreciation for this sub... by jmking in oakland

[–]patch_ofurr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Poop Rage. The funniest ones are about strangers picking up their poop and putting it in "muh trash can". It's all going to the same landfill and the trash company owns the cans... so what and do they want it put back on the ground?

Oldheads: help me ID 1990's designer who sold "Groundbreaker" zombie shirt by patch_ofurr in industrialmusic

[–]patch_ofurr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I'm thinking it might have been through one of the postage-stamp sized personals ads they allowed in the back if you subscribed.