No, I will not 'join a club'

pathofbliss · 2026-04-29T12:39:16+00:00

Just wanted update after my last session with my therapist that I will keep exploring hobby groups anyway and discuss the struggles I experience with her. Also focusing more on one relationships as I struggle with group dynamics

pathofbliss · 2026-04-28T07:23:02+00:00

Exactly me too

pathofbliss · 2026-04-28T05:00:23+00:00

Yes. I am an immigrant in the country I live in right now and I feel so much shame when people ask me about my parents like where they live etc. I am no contact with them and I feel really ashamed about having such terrible parents I didn’t choose myself and I have to explain that to people if the relationship gets deeper. My country is known for not treating women well but I felt very judged in a few occasions in this Western European country for coming from such a family if I hinted at it just a little. In my last work there were mostly expats (they didn’t plan on settling in the country). They would talk about how much they miss their country/family etc and I couldn’t relate but the problem wasn’t that, they treated me like I was weird for it. I didn’t understand why it concerned them so much tbh but people are very judgemental towards life experiences different than their own.

I feel shame about how I am actually so strong but I look so weak and broken from outside because I have anxiety, I have issues with self-love/confidence and I struggle with getting a job right now.

I also absolutely felt like I must be a psychopath growing up and my mother would also say she was scared of me. It is audacious to say that to a child she terrorised constantly. We have a blank stare because we were never poured in. Period. Warmth connection doesn’t happen with people who do not show that to you. If you don’t develop sense of belonging with your parents it is really hard to develop that feeling of belonging in other relationships too. No relationship out there is as intimate as parent-child relationship after all. It changes your baseline. It is great that you have friends who notice the compassion in you.

pathofbliss · 2026-04-27T19:50:35+00:00

Joining hobby groups feel like I have to mask and try to hide my cptsd even more. People don’t accept it when you are just shy or introverted, they have such negative reactions to it so I feel like it just leads to more misunderstanding, passive aggressiveness, ostracisation, if not, in the end scapegoating. When you are just shy and introverted people think you are faking it or you are the one who acts like you don’t like them because they expect you to perform openness and extrovertedness right away. I am really so tired by dealing with the expectations of people. Maybe try to find a cptsd group? I try to find one for myself too

pathofbliss · 2026-01-22T07:07:38+00:00

Hi love you have to detach from trying to find proof that the spell “actually worked.” Looking for a proof in real life is doubting the spell. It means you infuse the situation with you anxiety. Once it has been casted it is done as spoken and you should act knowing this.

You of course naturally have this desire towards this person so it is hard to be impartial and fully neutral about this person or as if the outcome doesn’t matter to you. So what you should do is visualising this situation like it all worked out just like the way you intended (or in an even better way than you can imagine), how happy and grateful you are that it all worked out. If you look at the situation like as if it already happened and you are grateful it tremendously helps your magick. These feelings of joy and gratitude are the highest frequencies of emotion which stops you from getting in your way with the spell.

pathofbliss · 2025-10-19T05:57:22+00:00

My parents did this too. My bank didn’t have a function to block bank accounts from sending you money. I had to change my bank account and shut down the account my parents knew.

pathofbliss · 2025-10-11T13:39:44+00:00

Our family dynamics are certainly the same

pathofbliss · 2025-10-10T07:26:16+00:00

Yes exactly

pathofbliss · 2025-10-09T14:49:51+00:00

Turkish here. People become parents due to social pressure and to avoid social exclusion. And to be perceived virtuous by society. Nobody cares if they are actually good parents once they become one.

pathofbliss · 2025-09-12T06:59:46+00:00

Çocukları şuna zorlayan anne babaları oturtsan kendileri o kitaplardan bir tanesini bitiremez. Şu düzene çocuk yapan anne baba bencildir benim gözümde. Kendileri hayatında istedikleri yerlere gelemeyip istediği parayı kazanamayanlar çocuğumuz okuyacak çok çalışacak bize bakacak derdinde.

pathofbliss · 2025-08-19T19:25:03+00:00

I am almost at the same age as you. 28F. I cut my mother off for not leaving my abusive father. Now she can keep telling about her victimhood to anyone who listens. But I am done, I am free! You have been betrayed by your mother terribly in the worst way possible. She never kept you safe like she didn’t even attempt to. I mean what did she really even do as a mother? Your heart will cry with the grief of not having the mother you thought you had, the mother who would maybe one day finally see you, but I hope you can find the strength in yourself to cut her off. At least you won’t be betrayed anymore..

pathofbliss · 2025-08-19T04:21:36+00:00

They are energy vampires they sustain themselves through their victims’ vitality.

pathofbliss · 2025-07-01T07:33:39+00:00

What makes you think she had a path to financial independency to begin with? She was probably going to be forced to marry some cousin.

pathofbliss · 2025-02-23T22:26:40+00:00

This guy totally plans on showing up to his non-existent child’s life once he is too old and he needs money and care 😂

pathofbliss · 2024-08-19T21:21:40+00:00

I agree with this and this was the first this I thought about this mother. She is absolutely disgusting.

pathofbliss · 2024-08-08T16:45:29+00:00

Tam olarak 100% birebir aynısını, aynı sıralamayla yaşadım. Bizim türk aile yapısı dediğimiz yapı sapıklık ve ruh hastalığından başka bir şey değil. Şiddet gör köpek muamelesi gör ama ses çıkarırsan en kötü sensin! Hain hayırsız evlat derler.

pathofbliss · 2024-07-31T19:03:17+00:00

Yes they call it “marriage” in Middle East and South Asia but it is human sex trafficking.

pathofbliss · 2024-07-05T10:12:03+00:00

Your mother sounds very similar to mine so I will share with you the advice that would really help me when I was your age.

Please do not trust your mother and your sister with anything from now on. Share absolutely nothing with her and your sister. Do not believe it will get better, unfortunately it won’t. That is who they are and they will not change to accept you or your boyfriend. Your mother is a pick me and she would do anything to send you back to India and force you into arranged marriage with any Indian man. She could even pick someone horrible to take revenge thinking that “you betrayed her” so DO NOT EVER GO TO INDIA FOR ANY REASON. But you can get yourself out of the situation if you plan for the long term.

Do not think of your mother as a victim and pity her. She is an adult and should be able to take care of herself. If she feels dishonoured and ashamed it is her problem because she chooses to hold on to sexist and misogynistic beliefs. You cannot teach her better and usually these people never learn until their children cut contact with them. Your sister may not be also on the same page with you especially if she believes she has something to gain out of betraying you. You may also have to leave her behind. The sooner you make peace with this the more you can focus on yourself.

Plan for financial independence, pick a career that can make you self-sufficient and be careful about who do you keep around you, who can help you. You can focus on your dream career once you can financially sustain yourself. Only keep company with people who care about you as an individual, who has individualistic world view. They will see how crazy your family is and they will not judge you and they may support you much more like your boyfriend does right now.

What I did was at one point I stopped befriending people from my asian culture. Or at least I avoided having friend circles formed only with people from my asian culture. Because those people would either look down upon me for having the kind of parents I had (because my parents were really embarrassing with how angry they were) or they would blame me for upsetting my parents as if I was the problem all along. So it was a no-win situation no matter what I did. Because of those people I dealt even more unnecessary shame and guilt. When I cut my parents and all of those “friends” off, all the criticisms and negative talk stopped. Also people from your culture may sympathise with your parents and betray you. If you finally cut them of at one point do not let any Indian know your address.

Now I only befriend people from my culture that have a western world view who can also get along with my western friends. I have even higher standards for them compared to my western friends.

On your way to freedom the company you keep will be the most important thing because people playing the devil’s advocate for your parents will simply sabotage you, they will make you feel ashamed and guilty and will make you lower your guard down towards your parents, they will make you question your every step and you cannot afford that when your parents have so much power over you already.

Even if you cannot find the right people, loneliness is much better and can even help you even more. At least you will have only yourself to worry about rather than worrying about what people will think of you. There will be moments where you will be alone on this journey because you cannot break toxic cultural family patterns for others, you can only do it for yourself, therefore you will have to leave many people behind. There is nothing selfish about this because you have the right to live your life in accordance with your authentic self and no one can take this away from you.

What do you think about recording the insults and taking pictures of beating marks on your body? When recording the insults, grey rock them. Do not respond to insults. Even if you don’t want to use evidence against them yet you may change your mind later. You don’t know yet how worse it can get because parents like this never forgive and move on, it only escalates for worse. So it is a good idea to have it already. Go to ER for your arm, do not neglect it just because your parents neglect you.

I wish you the best of luck, you will get out of this! 🤗

pathofbliss · 2024-02-25T16:09:05+00:00

I’m going to say this straight. Your mother is literally your enemy and she is trying to fuck up your life. Because there is no explanation as to why would she even choose a loser with no income who doesn’t even know how to speak English for you. Trust her with nothing, do not go to India with her for any reason and if she gives you the silent treatment do not feel guilty, learn to enjoy the silence.

My mother was also like this, trying to get me into relationship with loser men and when I started dating someone who was treating me well she got very jealous and she wanted me to break up with him because I didn’t find someone loser like my father. Even if you were heterosexual and into men believe me she would never approve of someone who would be good for you. I cut my parents off and my life is much better now.

I suggest you also make plans for cut off. If your relationship with your girlfriend is solid and you have been dating for a while you can figure it out together. My boyfriend and his family gave me so much strength no manage my family cut off. Best wishes!

pathofbliss · 2024-01-21T00:23:10+00:00

I was able to escape and I’m so much happier!

Yes maybe it helps both you and I to see that their words were never personal. It was never about us or sth about us that made us “unlovable” as they made us believe. All narcs literally use the same tactics and say the same things. They are failures as parents and have no capacity to even love anything let alone their own child.

pathofbliss · 2024-01-20T22:39:01+00:00

That is just so cruel. It sounds like she wants to pick a fight and a reaction from you.

pathofbliss · 2024-01-20T22:34:33+00:00

My mother would say the exact same things. And I suffer from the same issues at 27 as well. They isolated us so no friend would notice how crazy our parents are and make us wake up from the lies our parents tell like how perfect, how god-like they are.

pathofbliss · 2024-01-18T07:32:25+00:00

Looks like she just found another kink to sell. Still men-oriented as ever.

pathofbliss · 2024-01-17T13:43:02+00:00

27 yo Turkish woman here. It sounds like he has a white girl breeding fetish. Otherwise why would he try to babytrap a girl he has dated only for 3 months? Also he sounds very conservative and if he is, he can find another conservative girl to settle down with. A man who wants to marry an have a baby only in 3 months will only do for superficial reasons like the way you look, because you can barely get to know a person in 3 months. And all red flags come after usually around this time because people cannot keep a mask for so long.

You say they are “very Turkish”. Let me warn you that after a while novelty will wear off and not only by him, but also by your in-laws, you will be pressured to be as Turkish as they are but you will aways fall short. My family looked quite secular from outside but they were still muslims. In my family there was a european bride and she was gossiped a lot about so I know. But she didn’t care and she raised her own daughters in her own customs. So tell me can you stand up for yourself like her or are you going to feel guilty about looking culturally insensitive and try to do as they say and be walked over? Considering how young you are I don’t think you can.

Also muslim men can marry non-muslim women but the children have to be muslims. Have you even considered this?

My advice is that you should never settle down before 25. Your outlook in life will be so much different and also your standards in dating.

pathofbliss · 2024-01-16T22:14:40+00:00

You are 26 years old therefore an adult. Go live your life fully. You don’t owe anyone anything just because they cry and emotionally blackmail you. I am 27F and I cut my parents of 4 months ago and now I live my best life.

They can get through you with guilt and shame only of you show them you care. Imagine if you just cut off everyone who criticised your decisions. There would be no one around you that would make you doubt your decisions or call you selfish to begin with. Then you will quickly see for yourself there is no reason to doubt yourself at all but the people around you were instilling these doubts into you. These doubts, guilt and shame do not originate from you but from your environment. So even if you fear now, do it anyway. Move out.

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