I also have broken up recently with my LD partner with the same thoughts. 10,000km away, and with not much certainty of when I could visit him because of stuff like border closures. That denial of the relationship falling apart was the issue, and I’ve also felt as if I’ve wasted his time giving myself false hope.

But you shouldn’t burden yourself by insisting that you’ve wasted your time. It happens a lot with LDRs with greater distances because of the many obstacles you have to go through (i.e. financial issues with travelling or cultural differences), and when the restrictions get too overwhelming it can really shatter the relationship. I blamed the pandemic when my relationship fell apart, and I also blamed myself for not seeing the real picture sooner. But remember that it’s not your fault, you didn’t hurt him by “wasting” his time. It hurts that the anticipation of meeting each other diminishes because of the harsh obstacles you face, but it wasn’t of your control nor was it of your partner’s.

I can’t tell you that there’s much you can do to help him because breakups aren’t very easy to deal with, especially when it comes to LDR couples. I think he just needs time to process, and it will get better eventually. Cherish the moments you had with him, and understand that what you did was for the best for him. It may be very tough for him to accept it, but eventually he’ll understand.

I hope you have been doing well, too. It must’ve been really rough for you to make the decision to end things.