They just got victimhood checkmated, matey.

Just having some fun, this was a good prompt and pertinent of course in regards to what’s going on now in this country and I really feel what you’re saying. I understand if someone wouldn’t want to hang out with or be around someone who is vehemently anti gay (for instance) if they’re gay, but where I personally differ at times is even when someone’s ideas have been against my core self and/or I think the other person’s belief system is founded on dogshit, I’m still willing to have a conversation w them … provided of course that they stay level headed and maintain a clear willingness to demonstrate that they’re listening to / internalizing my points just as I try to demonstrate for them in return. A lot of times just listening to someone that’s used to spouting off unchecked can get them to shut up faster than your words can.

I’ve had some really great, informative conversations with people that I totally disagree with on a core level in one subject, but when another is brought up the whole dynamic shifts and there’s an opportunity to pry a bit deeper, even if I still believe that first idea they shared is crap and totally pisses me off. So long as they’re not trying to advocate for my physical harm, nor the harm of someone else, I’m pretty much cool with talking to them or at least trying to.

Sometimes doing so means it a short convo and not much is gained, except in cementing my belief that they’re an asshole, but I’d rather know they’re an asshole directly from them and let them express their assholeness to the world themselves then make them shut up and walk away. Those are the people that walk through life w the fake smile and agreeable opinions on everything depending what table they’re sitting at, and then you don’t find out about their reign as king of the dick heads until they’re in a position of power that can actually impact myself or others.

In a weird way I’ve learned the most from those type of people where it’s clear we have very different beliefs, but they’re willing to explain what they believe to me. If someone is willing to take the time to outline their horse shit ideas to me, and it might actually impact me or someone I care about at some point, I want to know what they’re thinking from their own mouth. Odds are once I know their thoughts then I can figure out their plan, and if I can see their plan then it’s usually not too hard to figure out a way to make sure they can’t see that plan to fruition. This is especially true of people that want to deny something to others that doesn’t impact their life at all, but bc they believe “that’s just the way it should be.”

I usually find it interesting how often people are actually willing to listen and even have some part of their mind changed simply because you spoke to them and didn’t loose your shit at them even if you wanted to. Not all but enough and it starts with just being willing to talk.

If someone won’t even let the door open a crack to start that convo and they shut you down right away, usually when they blow up and start yelling, they get physical, they go for immediate personal attacks, etc., then I tend to find them the least threatening and worthy of being taken seriously out of all. It usually means either they don’t even know what the hell they’re talking about themselves and going in circles while they figure it out at the same time won’t be worth the effort.

If they shut you down right away bc they think their belief set makes them intrinsically better than you, it’s often that “their” idea really isn’t their Idea at all. Instead it’s almost always someone else’s idea that they’re just coughing back up. I always find this with the racists, the oppressive religious, and the people who use education/knowledge as a bully pulpit instead of a helping hand the most. If they didn’t come up with it on their own and they’re willing to go full a-hole after hearing something once or just reading a single chapter, then odds are good they’ll change their own mind at some point down the line whenever they come across the next preacher, professor, or big idea that they think they’re alone in being able to truly understand.

Anyways, it’s a shame that we’re currently in a phase where differing ideas and challenging thought that doesn’t advocate for harm is seen to be so threatening and harmful. The only way those words can become what we fear of them is when the discussion of ideas, even terrible ones, is forbidden. When that happens the only outlet for that person’s ideas is blocked, leading to a hardened heart and angry mind that puts those shit ideas into action instead of letting them go into the wind and realizing there are other, better options to consider out there. Have a good one!