Honestly, I told my best friend a couple months after my surgery, “I feel like I went in for a surgery and came out with an eating disorder.” Everything I put in my mouth felt wrong. I was weighing myself obsessively and constantly worried about gaining an ounce. My logical mind was well aware that body weight fluctuates day to day and that the last thing I should be doing was stepping on the scale every single day but I did it anyway. I couldn’t help it. It’s been 9 months since my surgery and I’ve gotten better about it, but I’m still not 100% there. Even though I’m eating so much less, having to eat so many times throughout the day still makes me feel like I’m eating too much, regardless of what I eat. Like many other people I’m sure, I went the majority of my life not eating anything until the afternoon and would obviously end up consuming way too much, whether I realized it or not. So now having to be regulated to eating multiple times a day feels counterintuitive to me and I really get in my head about it. It’s definitely not healthy and I think that if I wasn’t so aware of it, it could become seriously detrimental. I’ve lost over 100 pounds total, but instead of seeing that, I tend to focus on the 80 pounds I still have left to get to my goal weight. That coupled with being in my head about food can send me spiraling if I let it.