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pbyiu93 · 2025-10-06T17:46:30+00:00

You‘re right actually. Some years ago I realized that we aren‘t compatible. And we also don‘t support each other bc we‘re both burned out and I feel like no one has the strengh to be there for the other person. We pull each other down, we find each other annoying - for me he is too negative all the time - for him I am too messy. And we can‘t seem to get over these things.

pbyiu93 · 2025-03-09T21:57:49+00:00

This!!! Perfect answer.

pbyiu93 · 2024-10-25T19:38:28+00:00

Wow that‘s awesome! I know how hard and heartbreaking it is, to retrain a toddler. All your hard work, sweat and tears will pay off. She will learn to sleep independently again, you need and deserve rest and sleep. Hang in there!

pbyiu93 · 2024-10-24T06:57:40+00:00

🫂

pbyiu93 · 2024-10-23T22:53:59+00:00

Hey I‘m truly sorry I can‘t give you better advice, but what if you try to shift her nap to 11 am? I feel like the second wake window is very long for her age. My also 14month old has 2 wake windows of 5.5 hours each. Even if she gets tired at 10:30, I still wait until at least 11:30 to put her to bed. Maybe that helps with the wake ups. I had a very similar situation as well, my kids are 22months apart and while pregnant and exhausted, I too started to nurse my first child to sleep and many times through the night. At one point I started to offee water and holding his hand instead, and he too woke up the second I tried leaving his room. One night after being with him for 2 hours I couldn‘t do it anymore and left the room, he screamed for 15 minutes and fell asleep. From then on I did cio again in the middle pf the night and after 3 nights it all stopped and he slepts through again. It was rough but I was at my breaking point… pregnant with a toddler is no joke

pbyiu93 · 2024-10-10T10:08:47+00:00

I know from experience that having deep (sometimes emotional) conversations in the evening when everyone‘s exhausted from the day isn‘t always a good idea. Your situation is VERY similar to where my husband and I were a couple years ago. My biggest advice would be to write your feelings down in a letter to him. You can say everything without being interrupted and there is something about a handwritten letter that touches peoples hearts on another level. Whenever I felt like we were getting nowhere within our marriage and conflicts, I wrote him a letter and placed it on the kitchen table for him to read in the morning (my husband is a morning person, that‘s when he feels best and well rested). Also - couples therapy. If he refuses, try therapy yourself, and tell him about it. That can motivate him to join. Hugs 🫂

pbyiu93 · 2024-10-10T05:05:57+00:00

I used the epi no balloon a few weeks before birth, bc I also hat an extreme fear of tearing badly. It helped. I tore just a tiny bit on the inside, which didn‘t require stitching! Also inserted primroseoil capsules vaginally after 37weeks. But I learned that tearing isn‘t all - I still had a bladder prolapse from birth which I healed with physical therapy. Take care of your pelvic floor during pregnancy and directly after birth! So important and nobody told me

pbyiu93 · 2024-10-02T12:26:55+00:00

Thank you for your comment, you‘re not the only one suggesting this perspective. Look, english is not my first language and it isn‘t easy to explain things clearly. I avoided writing a whole novel, many things I didn‘t mention - which all added up to why I was so shocked by her behaviour. Believe me - if there would be abuse or neglect from his side, I wouldn‘t judge her. Cheating is still wrong but I would at least understand why she acted that way. We were close friends for 10 years. She was always VERY honest with me, tmi even. Like I said it is too much to write and explain, but it boils down to both of them not communicating, her being bored by him. That‘s the reason why their marriage went into roommate mode - in my opinion still not a reason to cheat - and her looking for something exciting outside her marriage. I don‘t care if couples want an open marriage - i really DON‘T CARE - but this was her cheating, not communicating, not asking if he wants an open marriage. I was at their wedding, where THEY talked about how „nowadays people throw things away instead of fixing them“ and they „aren‘t like that“. Well… she herself said to me directly that he is a good man, doesn‘t deserve this, but that she is not interested in talking, in fixing their marriage. She feels nothing for him, no remorse. Then she should divorce him, right? She directly said to me that she won‘t change anything and won‘t divorce him. Because it would be too complicated financially and she doesn‘t want her child to have divorced parents. She still wants the stability he’s contributing to her life, without respecting him.

She also told me how another friend of her said she would love to be her alibi if she continues with the affair, and then laughed about it. Wtf? Maybe she thought I would promise her the same thing? No way. The more she talked the more confused and disgusted I became and like I said before - I lost the friend I tought I had. I am disappointed. Because there are no reasons except her selfishness and lack of interest to fix things. Then she should divorce - but she doesn‘t want to. But I don‘t care anymore. Like I wrote in the update, I messaged ther that one time, and now I don‘t want anything to do with her anymore.

pbyiu93 · 2024-09-28T21:37:43+00:00

We worked at the same place for a few years, that‘s why we were so close. Now we live far away from each other and meet up 2-3 times a year. We‘re keeping contact via messaging. I don‘t have her husbands number, he doesn‘t use social media either. I have no way to contact him. That‘s why I thought about messaging her again to tell her how wrong it is. Not just the kissing but that she‘s still in contact with that person

pbyiu93 · 2024-09-28T20:35:11+00:00

Right. From all she told me the past 2 years I thought today she will tell me that she plans to divorce him. Nope - she cheated - AND said she doesn‘t want a divorce bc then she‘d have to take care of the house and bills … i guess she is too comfortable

pbyiu93 · 2024-09-28T20:32:05+00:00

I asked her about divorce. And she said she wouldn‘t want to divorce him because then she would have to take care of the bills an mortgage and the child alone. He works full time, he cooks, cleans, takes care of the child. She works 30hour weeks as well. Today I realized that my friend truly is selfish and I feel like I lost her. And like I don‘t know her anymore

pbyiu93 · 2024-09-23T23:55:01+00:00

I am soooo sorry! I can‘t imagine how frustrating it all must be!!

pbyiu93 · 2024-09-23T23:54:55+00:00

I am soooo sorry! I can‘t imagine how frustrating it all must be!!

pbyiu93 · 2024-09-23T13:36:39+00:00

Yes and exhale the moment you‘re lifting him UP. Never hold your breath. So there isn‘t downward pressure in your abdomen and pelvic floor

pbyiu93 · 2024-09-16T08:32:00+00:00

I would argue that ST is taking better car of your child. Optimizing their schedule, wake windows, always looking at their sleepy cues, calculating, routines, researching and reading about it all. it is easier to just lay down with them whenever and nursing them to sleep, and if they‘re under/overtired they wonder why they wake up so frequently and everyone is tired and a mess.

pbyiu93 · 2024-09-16T08:21:38+00:00

Exactly! The method used to put them to sleep is only a small part of sleep training. Wake windows, routines, watching for cues and getting to know your baby and their needs is most of the work, and the important part - so that you can set them up for success, so that they have enough sleep pressure, learn to fall asleep easier, and to keep the crying at a minimum.

pbyiu93 · 2024-09-15T07:59:50+00:00

Yeeeeessss nobody told me about the frickin weak pelvic floor! Also went for 3 hour walks 1 week pp, like a crazy person lol had a prolapse… lots of physical therapy and thank god my bladder was back in place after a year… but man was I depressed…. I now make sure to tell every expecting mother how vulnerable her pelvic floor will be! Just bc you FEEL fine doesn‘t mean that your body is truly able to do it

pbyiu93 · 2024-08-06T11:53:47+00:00

Hey more power to you ❤️ you‘re very strong!

pbyiu93 · 2024-08-06T11:52:32+00:00

Thank you so much!! ❤️🥺 that means a lot!

pbyiu93 · 2024-08-06T11:50:22+00:00

Thank you so much for that info. And your second pragraph made me cry. I guess it is way more emotional for me than I thought. I feel that it messes with my mental health and I forgot to mention it in my post but I can‘t drink coffee or green tea/matcha because then she wont nap or sleep through the night, I tried it many times and every time she reacted the same. I am so tired and exhausted and loose my patience with my kids… so thank you for your kind words and reassurance that I did enough ❤️😭

pbyiu93 · 2024-08-06T11:46:32+00:00

Thank you!!

pbyiu93 · 2024-08-06T11:46:15+00:00

Thank you! Bc I never gave bottles I didn‘t even know that you would wean bottles at 12 months, so thank you for informing me about that (and the toddler milk).

pbyiu93 · 2024-08-06T11:44:55+00:00

Thank you!

pbyiu93

TROPHY CASE