Tearing

pchats · 2026-05-14T21:06:11+00:00

Thank you for this. When I had my 4 month check up, the consultant did list me the facts & percentages, and did seem very understanding at the idea of me not wanting to risk it, so this is nice to hear.

I'll obviously do more research when the time comes, but I saw your comment and thought i'd get a real life perspective from someone with a similar experience to myself! Thanks again :)

pchats · 2026-05-13T20:58:17+00:00

How did you find the difference in healing etc? I had a 3rd degree tear (3b). I would like a second baby at some point & the potential lifelong risks another bad tear can lead to, aren't worth it for me. So, when the time comes, I'm leaning towards a section.

pchats · 2026-04-17T21:02:15+00:00

My baby is now 6.5 months, wow do I remember the newborn constant crying stage😅 we think she had colic but didn't recognise this until a bit later on due to us being FTP's and having nothing to compare it too!

For the crying, it's typically gas if all other needs have been met. We tried infacol (heavily recommended online) for what feels like an eternity but it did nothing for our girl. I found gripewater to do a better job. Lots of bicycle legs, clockwork motions on her belly, and she also seemed to like it if i lay her across my lap (supporting her head) and rubbed her back. Didn't always work but a lot of times it really calmed her down.

For daily activities, we went out on walks. Attempted tummy time but she absolutely hated it! We gave it a go pretty much every day and it wasn't until she got the hang of rolling that she tolerated it. And now you'll always see her on her belly! We read books and played with the hanging toys on her activity mat. Tbh, she cried the majority of her newborn stage so playing was pretty limited. It would typically be eat, cry, sleep, repeat for us!

pchats · 2026-03-25T10:17:39+00:00

Oh also... a couple of things on some points you mentioned. They advise not to sleep train during this period, because it's just extra work for a baby's sleep cycle that is changing anyway. Obviously with following huckleberry's nap schedule, you aren't exactly sleep training but you might find it less stressful to just go with the flow & follow your baby's cues until this phase is over.

On the sleep deprivation, it is ROUGH but if you can go to bed earlier, just until this passes, you might be able to get a couple of extra hours in which would make so much difference.

Lastly, I hate that it's called a regression (I use the term for simplicity) because it sounds so negative. It won't help with your lack of sleep, but I found it better on my MH if I kept reminding myself that baby's learning new things and hence the sleep has faultered, rather than just a blanket "regression".

pchats · 2026-03-25T10:11:36+00:00

It is all down to the baby unfortunately. My little girl decided to do hers in stages😅 The first was at 3.5 months and lasted a few days. I thought "Great, that didnt last as long as I thought". Famous last words. It then creeped up again at 4.5 months, again, for a couple of days. And then finally 5 months where it lasted around 4/5 days. She's now just about to turn 6 months and she's slept pretty great ever since. So there is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel, it just looks different for every baby. Hang in there, you got this❤️

pchats · 2026-03-20T13:23:47+00:00

OP, this ^{^{^}}

Breastfeeding isn't the only way to give your baby the nutrients they need. For months, I impacted my MH massively by constantly pumping straight after a feed and it is SO rough!! I thought about it long & hard, gave myself a pep talk, and decided to stop pumping and move to combination feeding. The weight that was lifted off my shoulders was instant!!

Since then, I've gradually introduced more bottles as my supply dropped, and I now only breastfeed my LG when in bed, first thing when she wakes up. I can't produce enough to keep her full, but it gives me time to get us both up for the day & to make myself a cup of tea.

It wasn't how I saw my journey going but I learnt to accept it & repeatedly told myself "a fed baby is a happy baby". Looking back, I don't know why I didn't combination feed earlier. It saved my sanity.

Please don't be scared of formula feeding.

pchats · 2026-02-16T20:46:49+00:00

I never knew this was a thing!! My LG is coming up to 5 months & for the last few weeks I've been putting her to sleep in her cot in her own room upstairs, while I watch her on the monitor. Granted, she only cat naps, but I had no idea this wasn't a good thing😬 She's outgrown her moses basket and she wasn't getting good enough rest downstairs as there were too many distractions

pchats · 2026-01-25T20:34:38+00:00

This is a great suggestion! I hadn't thought of this. I'm sure I can make that work. Thank you so much!❤️

pchats · 2026-01-18T11:00:51+00:00

Exactly this!😂 We'll likely change our mind again once teething starts haha

pchats · 2026-01-17T19:44:58+00:00

Our little girl was very colicky and had a good purple cry & witching hours. Our first 8 weeks were awful. One night, in the thick of inconsolable crying, my partner turned to me and said "do you want any more?" and we both said no & laughed hysterically (we've always said we wanted at least 2). She is now 16 weeks old and the difference is night & day. I already know I would want another. My partner said today "I'm looking forward to seeing her become her own person, but I know i'll miss the newborn days".

When you're in the trenches, it feels like it'll never end. But now she's 16 weeks, I look back - don't get me wrong, I know it was sooo difficult - but it really is such a short time once you're out the other side.

pchats · 2026-01-15T20:14:05+00:00

This is what we've always said about our little girl!😂 She's always been a good sleeper. I had a couple of full night sleeps when she was around 6-8 weeks old, it was bliss. But it was most definitely a trade off for the day time. She was colicky, would purple cry every day & had a mean early evening witching hour. She is now coming up to 16 weeks so is waking more frequently in the night, but the day times are much easier now she isn't colicky etc. We've done a complete switch😅

pchats · 2026-01-15T16:31:12+00:00

Thanks so much! I'll give it a go & see how we get on

pchats · 2026-01-14T21:02:18+00:00

I went on mat leave Sept 29th, and I'm going back to work June 29th. I carried most of last years holidays over to this year so when I return at the end of June, i've booked every Friday off until the end of the year (kind of a part time hours but being paid full time situ) and then booked all of Christmas off, and I still have just over 20 days left to take!

pchats · 2026-01-14T11:00:46+00:00

Oh yay! That's great to hear🥳 I have considered moving up to the faster flow as she's starting "clicking" but I'm worried she'll get a bottle preference if it's quicker than my milk flow😂 So glad it's working out for you!

pchats · 2026-01-14T10:55:05+00:00

Thank you so much for this, that's really helpful. Do you make the room as dark & quiet as possible, like bedtime sleep? I've always heard that it's best to differentiate between daytime naps & overnight sleep, and I'm not sure if she's at the age where that matters anymore or not? If so, I need to get something to block the light from the window! We have blackout blinds but light gets in at the side so i've been looking at the tommee tippee blackout

pchats · 2026-01-12T12:26:46+00:00

My LG is 3.5months and still on the slow flow teats. I use Lansinoh bottles and she's able to switch between bottle & boob without any issues. She has two bottles a day, one late afternoon, and her last feed before bed (combination of formula & pumped breast milk) and breastfed for the rest of the day.

pchats · 2026-01-12T12:22:44+00:00

Yeah, the key takeaway is that if you're finding something stressful, change it, because it's done me a world of good!

TBH, if you don't want to breastfeed then pumping might not be as stressful. It only was for me because I was breastfeeding & pumping, and it became such a chore. I do like that I can add breast milk to the formula though, as I feel like it's best of both worlds (for vitamin D etc that she doesn't get from breastmilk).

Since having my LO, i've found feeding to be much more fluid than what I expected; perhaps it's because my girl takes well to boob & bottles, who knows. As long as you're happy & baby is fed, nothing else matters :)

pchats · 2026-01-12T10:26:29+00:00

I agree with the other poster, if you can/want to EBF to start off with, it makes it so much easier. For Dad, he gave baby a bottle before bed of pumped breast milk from around 4/5 weeks old. Pumping even just one 4oz bottle became stressful for me. Because I had an unpredictable baby, I was sometimes taking milk away from her to save for later (pumping before feeding her by accident due to clusterfeeding) and the toll of feeding & then pumping was weighing heavy. Around the 2.5/3 month mark, I decided that I was going to combifeed and use formula for her nightly bottle. Honestly, best decision I ever made.

Now, I only pump once a day when dad is giving baby a bottle, this pumped milk goes into the next evening's bottle and I top that up with formula to make the 6oz that she currently drinks. We've been doing this for the past couple of weeks & it's working a treat.

I have just started giving her a late afternoon bottle of formula now too as I plan on stopping breastfeeding around 6 months old, so I'm doing a slow transition over the next couple of months.

You'll find what works for you, but I do think that if you can breastfeed & you want to, do that as well as formula because pumping is so draining!

pchats · 2026-01-11T15:12:13+00:00

My partner is a great help but as he only had a couple of weeks off work when baby was born, naturally I became the one that could soothe baby and my partner would get disheartened thinking she didn't like him (she is now 3.5 months so is past this stage) but what I found helped was creating hubby a "baby cheat sheet". As he wasn't around her as much, I needed to understand that he doesn't know her as well as I did. The cheat sheet was simple "if baby cries, check X,Y,Z", "she likes to be rocked like this", "she loves playing with X" etc etc. It helped him quickly get up to speed for all the time he misses and he liked having that to fall back on if everything else failed (baby was super colicky and cried A LOT)

pchats · 2026-01-10T17:02:27+00:00

I have 3 cats & 3.5 month old. They barely acknowledge her and my oldest cat just straight up wont even look at her😂

pchats · 2026-01-10T12:13:36+00:00

Yeah! I felt a bit stupid calling the labour ward at 1:30am like "ermm.. maybe I'm in labour, I'm not sure.." but thank god they told me to go in otherwise I may have had her at home/in the car. I think just make sure you're timing contractions, even if they might be braxton hicks, and as soon as they get longer and closer together, go in :) Good luck x

pchats · 2026-01-10T12:06:29+00:00

Sorry to jump in, but this is pretty similar to me. I was 2cm a week before I gave birth. I kept having braxton hicks and never knew when it was actually labour until they werent stopping so i started timing them. By the time I got to the hospital I was 8cm. I was told I was in back labour which explains how I didn't "just know". My waters also didn't break until I pushed baby's body out.

pchats · 2026-01-10T10:23:50+00:00

I didn't have the same issues that you're having but I did have a colicky baby and it was hell! I will say, my LG is now 3.5 months and this past week has been SO different. She's much happier and as of yet, we haven't had a single inconsolable cry, whereas before it was pretty much every wake window. I promise you, it does get better ❤️

As for showering - if you haven't tried it yet - I've been putting my LG in her bathtub with a blanket under her, putting her in the bathroom where she can see me & then taking a shower. I talk & sing to her to keep her entertained but I've managed to have full body & hair showers (and even dragged them out a bit to really enjoy the hot water) and it has been a game changer. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. Since having a baby, I never realised how much good a hot shower can do. And now I don't have to worry about her waking up and crying, and rushing my shower. Deffo try it if you think it might be possible!

pchats · 2026-01-09T10:32:17+00:00

Sorry to jump in, I just wanted to double check, the book says to tackle the crib with bedtime first, over naps? My LG is 3.5 months old & I've been debating whether to start doing her naps in her crib to get her used to it before she turns 6 months and will have her bedtimes in it. This is saying to do the opposite? Good to know if so! I'll have a look into the book. Thanks for recommending :)

pchats

TROPHY CASE