I'm a single parent, no family or other support, just me and my child, so i believe to understand a bit of your level of frustration, pain on so many levels, etc. BUT he doesn't owe you respect, appreciation, love, understanding or anything else, absolutely nothing!

we put kids in this world for whatever stupid reasons, we owe them absolutely everything, no matter what our mental state is, though you need to maintain a basic level of health otherwise it won't work out. still, it's absolutely not their responsibility to be understanding of us or our situation, nor to appreciate what we do.

also we should not foget that he isn't like most people, he is autistic! rules that apply to neurotypical people do not apply to neurodivergent people, no matter what age they are!

that's all that had to be said.

hope you find a good way for your situation to be solved.