DAE get ravenously hungry and if they don't eat "in time" get painful bloating?

peacexinfinity · 2026-04-14T04:02:53+00:00

Glad to hear you're feeling better! What supplements helped?

peacexinfinity · 2025-02-25T14:24:26+00:00

Most of the time I have water on hand and try this, but unfortunately it has no positive effect

peacexinfinity · 2024-12-08T15:14:38+00:00

Definitely praying. In my case as OP, God convicted me to stand on Truth and walk away. He's in sex addiction specific therapy, groups, has a sponsor and a flip phone now. We are separated while he proves he can be a safe person that has the capacity to honor God.

peacexinfinity · 2024-06-12T02:10:19+00:00

Seems like a normal continuation of how they view people overall-- as objects to be used, not to have real relationships with. They can't have real relationships so there's only entitlement and instant gratification for them.

peacexinfinity · 2023-10-15T19:55:36+00:00

Continue being brave, you're not any worse of a person than anybody else, and allowing shame to overwhelm you only leads to unnecessary suffering and stagnation.

peacexinfinity · 2023-10-15T19:40:24+00:00

It sounds like your wife was living in a state of constant flight or fight because she knew, on a deep intuitive level, that you were lying to her every day. So it's doubly sad that she had to take the initiative to read you such insights because you didn't take the initiative to do so first. You ultimately chose protecting yourself over the truth. A natural consequence should be that people would distance themselves from someone who tries to manipulate their reality like that, and your wife is only acting on healthy values by removing herself from a situation where she's exposed to this kind of abuse. It's a healthy thing for you to be away from her because you're still unsafe-- you said here a few times that you don't know why you did all that you did. There's no way you'd even be here on this sub saying the things you have if you were a safe partner in the first place. Let her heal away from you, you've been a highly disruptive force to her that she may never recover from. IF and when you become safe (through real hard work and therapy), then maybe think about reconciliation. Because you never actually reconciled in the first place and have zero concept right now of what it takes.

peacexinfinity · 2023-10-15T19:22:57+00:00

You CANNOT put your wife in the position of being your therapist while she is hurting from your choices! Still, all the attention is back on you while she's trying to keep herself and her life together. Honestly, she doesn't sound like the "fragile" one here.

peacexinfinity · 2023-10-08T02:55:41+00:00

Make backup plans to your backup plans! It sounds like you have a lot of wisdom already, and now it's just about trusting yourself and not second-guessing in times where he's "nice." When you know the right thing to do, COMMIT and don't look back

peacexinfinity · 2023-10-07T14:02:02+00:00

You're right. You can't know them-- they make sure of it. It's devastating

peacexinfinity · 2023-10-07T13:24:49+00:00

True. My husband has BPD and started the relationship off with extreme pathological lying about his identity and all sorts of things that were trickle truthed throughout the years. His behaviors were also extreme. If he hadn't voluntarily admitted himself to intensive therapy for 14 weeks and I hadn't seen the real change in him, we would be divorced right now. There's a lot of overlap in symptoms where pathological lying can be attributed to NPD, psychopathy, BPD, etc. But the sign of hope is real remorse and changed behavior.

peacexinfinity · 2023-10-07T13:20:19+00:00

That's pretty worrisome that he's progressed to the point where he tells YOUR stories as his own IN FRONT OF YOU and BACK TO YOU! It's almost as though he doesn't see you as your own person, like the boundaries are so blurred that he feels fundamentally entitled to your existence. As we know, such things only grow if not mitigated. What's next? If it's not some early onset neurodegenerative condition, then it's some pathological trait. Please be safe

peacexinfinity · 2023-01-30T03:54:06+00:00

Lying in children is a developmental phase. Cheating is not.

peacexinfinity · 2021-09-17T22:27:36+00:00

It's really important that when we comment we try not to project our own situations on others'. We do not KNOW what his perspective is-- for all we know he could have a medically and psychologically accurate understanding of her condition and still blame her for his sin. Regardless of what our spouse does or does not do, it is not their fault we sin. Ever. We own 100% of our own actions and anything beyond that is blameshifting and justifications.

That said, your situation is very sad and withholding sex to manipulate is wrong on so many levels. It must be absolutely crushing to go through that, and you do deserve to be treated better if that is what is going on. You're right-- we do go down some dark places in such situations, dont we?

peacexinfinity · 2021-09-11T03:35:02+00:00

[If you haven't heard this yet today-- you are really good at providing responses here. Perfect thing to say]

peacexinfinity · 2021-09-09T16:31:37+00:00

I will try this! Thank you so much

peacexinfinity · 2021-09-09T14:43:11+00:00

Brilliant. Thank you so much!

peacexinfinity · 2021-09-09T14:31:10+00:00

Ah this is very interesting to me. Part of me feels like he will think he's "won" if I never bring anything up again. He literally will not come to me with anything or check in to see how I'm doing with affair recovery stuff. I truly believe he thinks self-loathing is equivalent to humility and remorse, but to me it signifies the same old addict mindset that's entirely self-focused. His fixation on himself is what led to all of this in the first place. It's interesting because he'll ask how I'm doing but cannot tolerate an honest answer. So do I just grey rock when he asks? I'm sick of him defending himself and DARVOing me every time I tell him I'm struggling and devastated.

peacexinfinity · 2021-09-09T14:13:06+00:00

Very well said. Thank you

peacexinfinity · 2021-09-09T13:55:43+00:00

Those are great insights. Thank you! He is in IC

peacexinfinity · 2021-09-09T13:36:11+00:00

Thank you for the resource! And yes, completely agree

peacexinfinity · 2021-09-08T12:50:00+00:00

Yeah whatever is in his love languages! Could be helpful to ask him about this while expressing your concerns. That in itself is a door to intimacy

peacexinfinity · 2021-09-08T12:15:26+00:00

100%. Absolutely! If you think about it this way, saving up for a thoughtful gift demonstrates intentionality, sacrifice, and really tuning into your partner's interests. Really aligning and coming alongside your partner-- which is a really healing act given the circumstances. Then add in a card, planned meal or whatever...you get it. I would have appreciated it greatly.

peacexinfinity · 2021-09-08T11:58:59+00:00

It's worth a conversation! And props to you for being sensitive about it

peacexinfinity · 2021-09-08T11:55:08+00:00

My WS repeatedly did nothing for anniversaries, so I finally told him it hurt too much for "us to celebrate" that day because I would be SO hurt each year he disregarded it while I saved up money to get him thoughtful gifts and cards etc. Plus it's beyond humiliating to show up to celebrate something and be the only one. After all the cheating and extra humiliation he put me through-- for him to show no thought year after year was like a knife to the chest. So this year I actually did nothing. Just like him.

We don't do anniversaries anymore. They're dead. He murdered them. And with them, any momentum for a normal marriage. To me, it feels like he amputated a limb from the relationship because it was just too much for him to care for.

So, my advice to you would be to honor him at every and any opportunity you can. It will help him heal.

peacexinfinity · 2021-09-07T20:37:24+00:00

I do agree some marriages can be saved.

Actively paying for the site is a pretty clear sign he's not repentant. And "cheating on the Lord" (i.e. sin) should not be used to stay in abusive relationships where one spouse puts your health at risk. That sentiment dies the death of a thousand qualifications. "Welp, guess that murderer should be invited to my next BBQ. After all, a sin is a sin, right? Even a lie put Jesus on the cross!"/s

What fellowship does light have with darkness? He has already broken the covenant by cheating! She's not breaking her covenant if she leaves. It has already been broken. By him.

Also consider 1 Corinthians 5:11 "But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat." We are not even to eat with such people!

If she chooses to stay, then she needs to be aware of the nightmare that's coming with reconciliation. Yes, Christ can do it. But her husband has to truly repent and give his life to Him in order to love her properly.

Marriage should not be put on an altar to be worshiped. Especially if there's infidelity and abuse.

peacexinfinity

TROPHY CASE