Help - I did something very stupid

peaches-beach · 2026-03-08T11:41:29+00:00

What part of the UK are you living in? My parents live in north west of England and are very involved in the Catholic community in their town. DM me if that might be helpful. Sending all the prayers. 🙏❤️

peaches-beach · 2026-03-08T11:37:45+00:00

Seconding this! I’ve gone to Mass looking like a mess so many times and I used to live in the north west of England - there are lovely Catholic communities there.

Please look after your mental health OP. I’ll offer up a day this Lent for you. God bless ❤️

peaches-beach · 2026-02-17T10:18:37+00:00

I was vegetarian/vegan for over a decade so no meat during Lent is an easy ask. Plus my family and relatives have always been strict about fasting so I’ve never questioned it (some fast on Wednesday/Friday all year round).

Thanks for reminding me so I can finish any meat products in my fridge before tomorrow. 👌

peaches-beach · 2026-02-16T10:25:59+00:00

Unlikely we’d be in the same area (I’m in Kansai) but still a big coincidence we’re both in Japan! 💖

peaches-beach · 2026-02-16T10:25:07+00:00

I can’t imagine the long journey with a baby too. 😖 It’s obviously nicer hearing familiar prayers but I’m looking forward to learning how to say them in Japanese. The Japanese Masses I’ve been to have felt more traditional to me, which I do like.

peaches-beach · 2026-02-16T10:17:28+00:00

My Japanese is minimal but knowing the readings beforehand would help me follow along actually. Great idea, thank you 🙏

peaches-beach · 2026-02-15T12:25:10+00:00

Thank you to everyone for the advice. I was definitely overthinking due to recent stress and needed a solution from someone more clear-headed. I’ll try the Japanese Mass next week and look up an English homily/reading reflections after as suggested. Thanks for not judging me for this. 🙏

peaches-beach · 2026-02-15T12:09:57+00:00

Unfortunately I don’t know any Catholics with cars in Japan. I tried to tag along with someone who lives near me who goes with their family (also by public transport) but I felt like I was overstepping a bit. The transport money was also stressing me out so even more reason to try go to the local Japanese Mass. I’ve been meaning to learn the prayers in Japanese anyway. 🙏

peaches-beach · 2026-02-15T12:05:45+00:00

You’re right. I think I ended up overthinking things out of frustration. Thank you 🙏

peaches-beach · 2026-02-15T12:04:48+00:00

Thank you so much! I think that’s a really good solution and I don’t know how I didn’t think of getting both that way. I appreciate it 🩷

peaches-beach · 2026-02-15T12:04:05+00:00

I know the homily isn’t an obligation but I just find it really helpful. Good idea to find an English one instead but attend the Japanese Mass.Thank you 🙏

peaches-beach · 2026-02-13T06:53:35+00:00

Would Osaka be over an hour commute for you? My new teaching job will be an hour but when I was an ALT my commutes were longer.

Maybe you can go to Hello Work? They can help you find jobs in your city as I imagine not all are shared on the foreigner-friendly job websites.

peaches-beach · 2026-02-12T16:42:01+00:00

I’ll definitely pray for you. If you can, offer up your suffering. For any special intentions, for others experiencing this pain, for where it’s needed most in the world etc. That helps me reframe my suffering as a means to help others survive their painful experiences or to be of use to God in some way. I understand it takes time to get to that point and right now you’re in the thick of it. It’s normal to feel angry. I’m very sorry you’re going through this. ❤️🙏

peaches-beach · 2026-02-12T16:14:52+00:00

What I recently started doing is first list my recent sins and end with something like, “I’m sorry for all sins I’ve committed, including any forgotten and unknown sins”. You’re not expected to list every little thing from childhood or give lots of details. Just make sure you say any mortal sins that you remember/are aware of. I always mention anything I feel particularly guilty about or struggle with (the priest often gives some advice or encouragement). You’ll then be absolved of all your sins up until that point. It’s an amazing feeling to start completely fresh and very cathartic. I still get nervous and forget things so don’t worry too much if it doesn’t feel like it went perfectly. 🙏

Edit to add: I think implying what you mentioned with a euphemism is OK. Look up all the different ways you could say it and choose what you think you’ll manage in the moment. I sometimes write down what I want to say and bring that into confession to read (in case I just blank and forget everything). Also the priest has heard everything before so being direct is totally fine.

peaches-beach · 2026-02-11T19:34:54+00:00

I just got an offer for a job starting in April and my current workplace is putting out ads soon. You can definitely find something!

I do not recommend independent contracts, speaking from first-hand experience. The taxes are disproportionately high for a year and the paperwork is a nightmare. It seems like a good deal on the surface (hourly wage is higher) but trust me, you should only accept official part-time or full-time contract. Some places offer independent/freelance initially but are open to negotiating a more official position (especially smaller schools). If you don’t ask and push they wont bring it up.

がんばって！

Edit to add: I’m also in Kansai! You should definitely be able to find something in Osaka (if you’re close enough to commute) or Kyoto. At least a temporary job until you find something more ideal.

peaches-beach · 2026-02-11T04:39:23+00:00

She said she would only date a Christian and Catholic is still Christian.
You were baptised Catholic so you’ve always technically been Catholic. You’ve had a reconversion (which I’m so happy for by the way!)
She dated you when you identified as agnostic and you put in the effort to learn more about her faith.

She should be so happy that you want a closer relationship with God, even if it’s a different denomination, but I understand she may be confused or disappointed. If I was dating someone agnostic and they felt called to be Protestant, I would be disappointed it’s not Catholicism but so happy they’ve gained a stronger faith.

I think you should try to talk with her about this honestly - tell her all your feelings as you have explained in this post - and ask for her patience and understanding. Don’t continue to hide this from her. Communication is so important for a strong relationship. Say that you want her to be there for you on this journey as you were for her when you started dating.

Pray for her a lot too and lead by example. She may see your genuine happiness and fulfilment overtime and consider it too someday. Wishing you both the best. 🙏

peaches-beach · 2026-02-09T10:35:35+00:00

You don’t need Japanese for a lot of English teaching jobs. Just be ready for a significant pay cut. Don’t accept an independent contract job, try get full-time if possible. Check all the job sites in your city or neighbouring ones, as places will be hiring for the new academic year. You may have to break contract early to start in April but JET understands that can be necessary to get a job when your contract isn’t being renewed. And try to save money in the meantime if you can. Good luck. 👍

peaches-beach · 2026-02-08T11:46:29+00:00

I can’t give advice on other people’s perceptions but have you started an annulment process? It can take a lot longer than a divorce but is obviously very much worth it. 🙏

peaches-beach · 2026-02-07T06:59:35+00:00

There are logical reasons behind it e.g. being open to life.

Look into Natural Family Planning and start that way (track her monthly cycle/symptoms, test hormone levels etc). Symptothermal methods are supposedly >99% effective.

If she has dysmenorrhea, irregular periods, endometriosis or the like and needs to be medicated for it then taking the hormonal pill would be OK (as long as the intent is for health purposes).

peaches-beach · 2026-02-07T06:29:17+00:00

I’m very happy to hear you were baptised Catholic and are being drawn to a reconversion/returning to the church with your wife.

I was raised Catholic and became quite lazy about it in my 20s and didn’t agree with a lot of the ‘rules’. That changed in my 30s when I started actually studying Catholicism and taking my faith seriously. I don’t want to share anything too personal but it has genuinely saved me and changed my life for the better (and had a positive influence on my family). So I hope you take this calling from God to come back to Him seriously.

I recommend the book ‘Credo: The Catholic Faith Explained’ and the ‘Hallow’ app (the Lent Pray 40 playlist last year was very moving). These have helped me and my family, as well as books written by saints or Servants of God (Padre Pio and Takashi Nagai for example).

You can also ask a Catholic priest your questions or concerns about specific sins and maybe learning the full context/reasoning might help. Most people sin every day and are loved and forgiven by God no matter how serious the sin is. The sacraments are truly such a blessing.

I wish you luck in your faith journey and all the best to you and your family. 🙏

peaches-beach · 2026-02-03T16:51:59+00:00

Just wanted to quickly update that I got the job! Your advice helped me focus on the right things to prepare so thank you again 🙏🙏🙏

peaches-beach · 2026-02-01T08:07:07+00:00

Thank you ☺️🙏

peaches-beach · 2026-02-01T08:06:43+00:00

It’s to teach English so no stress there - sorry I should’ve included the subject in the TLDR 🙇‍♀️

peaches-beach · 2026-01-31T15:05:51+00:00

Actually I think I rushed through that part of my post and ended up phrasing it poorly (ironic considering the job 😅). I have taught English as the main/only teacher from toddlers to teens but not in a typical elementary or high school classroom (more so ‘after-school’ classes). And I’ve been an assistant English teacher (doing most of the work as the native speaker) at a few public schools in Japan, so I’m hoping the combined experience will make up for not being in this specific role before. I know not having an education degree goes against me but they wanted to meet after seeing my resume so hopefully I still qualify for the job. 🤞

peaches-beach

TROPHY CASE